Gods of Egypt is horrible

Ryujin · Mar 4, 2016

Homicidal_Squirrel said:
That's not surprising. GoE is a Hollywood movie written lazily by people looking to capitalize on Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's and Gerard Butler's fame.

Well, to be fair, it was actually written by priests perhaps 6,000 years ago. All these screenwriters did was add some overly large cobras and some 'splosions. Yup, that's pretty lazy.

Ryujin · Mar 4, 2016

Hand of Evil said:
George Washington Craver did not create/invent peanut butter.

Saw failure on with this movie from the first TV spot. 140m to make, then spent another 60m to advertise it.

No, peanut butter came long before Carver (though he did make it). You're asking for historical accuracy from Hollywood? They've got giant, flame spitting cobras.

Giant.

Flame spitting.

Cobras.

Dannyalcatraz · Mar 5, 2016

Hand of Evil said:
George Washington Craver did not create/invent peanut butter.

True, but it is among the products he used as exemplars to sell farmers on the viability of peanut farming.

Homicidal_Squirrel · Mar 5, 2016

Ryujin said:
Well, to be fair, it was actually written by priests perhaps 6,000 years ago. All these screenwriters did was add some overly large cobras and some 'splosions. Yup, that's pretty lazy.

Regarding "splosions," they should just have had Michael Bay make this movie. He would have added Bayspolsions and hot girls. This movie would have made millions. Just look at what he did with the pile that is transformers. That guy is a freaking genius!

Ryujin · Mar 5, 2016

Homicidal_Squirrel said:
Regarding "splosions," they should just have had Michael Bay make this movie. He would have added Bayspolsions and hot girls. This movie would have made millions. Just look at what he did with the pile that is transformers. That guy is a freaking genius!

I should have noted that the BODY of the golem, in "The Carver Story", will be played by Megan Fox. I think that she qualifies as a construct by now.

Homicidal_Squirrel · Mar 5, 2016

Ryujin said:
I should have noted that the BODY of the golem, in "The Carver Story", will be played by Megan Fox. I think that she qualifies as a construct by now.

Still missing the Baysplosions.

Ryujin · Mar 5, 2016

Homicidal_Squirrel said:
Still missing the Baysplosions.

It's going in a different direction; JJFlares.

Dannyalcatraz · Mar 5, 2016

Soundtrack by Buckethead, The Chemical Brothers, and Skunk Anansie.

Score by Danny Elfman. Or Mark Mothersbaugh.

Tonguez · Mar 5, 2016

Ryujin said:
Well, to be fair, it was actually written by priests perhaps 6,000 years ago. All these screenwriters did was add some overly large cobras and some 'splosions. Yup, that's pretty lazy.

I'm calling BS on that one! Sure those priest may have done the original concept but they brought in new writers to tone it down for the PG rating. Just look at the Lettuce scene for instance. in the original lettuce is smeared with semen and is a central element of incestuous rape and domination between Set and Horus, in the movie its a chance for magical negro Thoth to single handedly make up for whitewashing the rest of the pantheon.

I say more smeggy lettuce would have made the movie tolerable!

Ryujin · Mar 5, 2016

Here's a spoilery review of of GoE. Some NSFW language. I like CBG19's reviews because, like me, she actually likes some bad movies precisely because they're bad, though I have disagreed with her on some (cough*Prometeus*cough).

[video=youtube;plc9FYCGTEI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plc9FYCGTEI[/video]