5E Anti-DM Tips (AKA what NOT to do!)
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  1. #1
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    Anti-DM Tips (AKA what NOT to do!)

    1. Insist that all your players adopt mildly offensive stereotypical accents. Refuse to accept anything they say that isn't "in character".

  2. #2
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    2. When you're unsure of something, stop the game and make your players spend a fascinating five minutes watching you read a rulebook.

  3. #3
    3. Put real world races or religious groups into your game and either subjugate or disenfranchise them. I would suggest playing a colonialism setting with mature players only, as it can get very racist very quickly and might be awkward and off putting for players (especially minorities).
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  4. #4
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    4. Write down ideas on loose pieces of paper. If you need it, and it isn't in your binder, you will lose it.
    Last edited by Cernor; Friday, 2nd December, 2016 at 08:03 PM. Reason: Numbering

  5. #5
    5. Spend a lot of time writing a "story" for your game before it starts

  6. #6
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    5.b. Write a story that assumes players will do exactly what you expect. When they don't, get into a huff and throw your binder into the trash while exclaiming "Well that​ was a waste of time!"

  7. #7
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    6. Try to DM your players in real life, and assume that your in-game authority translates to real-life authority. Encourage bribes.
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  8. #8
    7. Insist the party have a certain mix of classes and races, so that they will succeed. (Otherwise, they just won't have any fun if they are not prepared for your adventure).
    It is not the game you play, but the story you tell.

  9. #9
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    8. Try really hard to think of reasons to say no to players. When you can't think of one, fall back on "because I said so!"
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  10. #10
    Preparing everything that's in every nook and cranny. Make sure every hex on your hex map has sub hexes, and make sure those sub hexes have something there.
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