ready for a new round of Ceramic DM?(judgements in, check in for finals...) - Page 22





+ Log in or register to post
Page 22 of 24 FirstFirst ... 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 LastLast
Results 211 to 220 of 240
  1. #211
    I'm back.

    So make with the judging already.


    I hope everything is alright, no crisis or anything.

 

  • #212
    maldur-

    Taladas wrote a very short story about one of the kings mages, very nice
    idea but I have seen him do better on the actual writing.
    NoOneofConsequence's story on revenge, always a popular theme in the ceramic
    contest, was better.
    But Joshua wrote a longer, but also much better story.

    So reading the stories the order should be:
    1:Joshua Dyal
    2: NoOneofConsequence
    3:Taladas


    alsih2o-
    nooc- wow, i really like this bit. i like the use of the arm, the wrestlers, the frozen guy, the smoking bird. the story isn't exactly shocking, but the way it uses theses images to convey a classic feeling story just does it for me
    joshua dyal- what an odd story, possibly a bot too long for ceramic dm, but it held my interest the whole way through. i kept waiting for it to fall apart into a poor harry potter ripoff, or a sexual farce of a story, but it was actually pretty darned good. the pictures were all used the same way except 1 though, i liked HOW they were used, but it seems to slightly cheapen them to use them all the same way.
    taladas- good pic usage, but i couuld have stood for a lot more fluff, maybe some more detail and distraction. it just felt a little rushed.

    for my money, nooc and josh dyal move on

    mirthcard-
    NoOneOfConsequence: Again, nicely done.
    Balanced and clever use of the pictures. Maybe a bit
    too clever? "The Judgment Rendered," indeed. Don't be
    cheeky, mate. I don't read any storyhours (I probably
    should), but this piece is what I conceive of a good
    storyhour to sound like. It's a game scenario that
    doesn't read like a game scenario. We're all gamers
    here and we all love a good game, but how easy would
    it be to capture that game as short fiction and not
    have it sound trite and hokey. Not sure what else to
    say. You are proving to be one hard cookie to break.

    Joshua Dyal: I'm just going to come right out
    and say it. I really hated the premise. The combo of
    Harry Potter/Pokemon (or is it Card Captors or is it
    Digimon, who can tell?)/Oversexed Teens/Strip Poker
    left me really cold, so to speak. I can't buy a bunch
    of adults sanctioning/overseeing a stripping contest
    between underage kids anyway. All of that coupled with
    the fact that it just went on way too long made this
    piece extremely difficult to get through. I like your
    writing style, your characterization and your pacing,
    but that premise just drives daggers through my head.
    Your picture use seemed a bit contrived as well. All
    but one of the pics was a force of magic in the game,
    which easily could have been replaced by anything else
    (for example a bunch of pigs and a tiger) and would
    still have worked just as well. The one pic that
    wasn't part of this grouping wasn't used especially
    well either. Even when I take the time to try and get
    into the story, things keep throwing me back out again
    (i.e. Colin knew he was going to a stripping match...
    he knew that the girls had won for several years
    running... the odds are that he will have to strip...
    he DOESN'T have any clean pairs of his normal
    underwear?!?! I just don't buy it!) All in all, this
    entry seemed cheesy and contrived, something I
    honestly wasn't expecting from you.


    Taladas: Your imagery (and your use of the
    pictures) is quite nice - the oracle incased in glass,
    Lord Sean sitting bored at the festival play, the
    breath of a songbird - all of these details are really
    well done and draw me into the tale. Yet my confusion
    outweighs my interest because your main character's
    point of view shifts so often. From third person to
    first person, from passive to active voice - this
    story is all over the place. It's so hard to follow
    that I find myself not caring about what happens. It
    seems as if you rushed to get this in on time. A good
    reread and some strong editing could have helped this
    piece get unstuck from the mire that it has instead
    become. As it is, I can't read it.

    [i]mirthcard's decision:[/b] NoOneOfConsequence and
    Joshua Dyal advance to the finals. The former for
    obvious reasons, the latter because even though I
    found the subject matter distasteful, it was readable,
    whereas Taladas' entry was not.

    unanimous, josh dyal and nooc go on to the finals.

  • #213
    Registered User


    Maldur's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Arnhem, the Netherlands
    Posts
    4,556

    ° Ignore Maldur
    Mirthcard, please read the original story by Joshua. It really is a nice story
    So many games, so little time!

  • #214
    Congradulations Nooc and Joshua! I look forward to reading your new entries.

  • #215
    Originally posted by Taladas
    Congradulations Nooc and Joshua! I look forward to reading your new entries.
    thanks for playing taladas, come back anytime

  • #216
    Registered User
    Magsman (Lvl 14)

    Hobo's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Michigan S. S. R.
    Posts
    18,976
    Blog Entries
    20

    ° Ignore Hobo
    Originally posted by alsih2o
    Joshua Dyal: I'm just going to come right out
    and say it. I really hated the premise. The combo of
    Harry Potter/Pokemon (or is it Card Captors or is it
    Digimon, who can tell?)/Oversexed Teens/Strip Poker
    left me really cold, so to speak. I can't buy a bunch
    of adults sanctioning/overseeing a stripping contest
    between underage kids anyway. All of that coupled with
    the fact that it just went on way too long made this
    piece extremely difficult to get through. I like your
    writing style, your characterization and your pacing,
    but that premise just drives daggers through my head.
    Your picture use seemed a bit contrived as well. All
    but one of the pics was a force of magic in the game,
    which easily could have been replaced by anything else
    (for example a bunch of pigs and a tiger) and would
    still have worked just as well. The one pic that
    wasn't part of this grouping wasn't used especially
    well either. Even when I take the time to try and get
    into the story, things keep throwing me back out again
    (i.e. Colin knew he was going to a stripping match...
    he knew that the girls had won for several years
    running... the odds are that he will have to strip...
    he DOESN'T have any clean pairs of his normal
    underwear?!?! I just don't buy it!) All in all, this
    entry seemed cheesy and contrived, something I
    honestly wasn't expecting from you.
    An obvious risk; the theme was a bit on the dodgy side. However, the reason I like the story, if I can say so myself, is that it is a fairly universal to a "teen spirit" -- I doubt many teenage guys would fail to identify with it, at the very least.

    As far as it's suitability as a Ceramic DM entry, it's clearly weak in that regard, as I acknowledged earlier. It's a story that almost allows me to "cheat" my way through the use of the pictures.

    "I realize that I am generalizing here, but, as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care." Dave Barry

  • #217
    Registered User


    Maldur's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Arnhem, the Netherlands
    Posts
    4,556

    ° Ignore Maldur
    Well done everyone!

    Good luck on the new round.

    JD: I have to say I like the original Golem story better , but you rewrote it enough to make it a different story
    So many games, so little time!

  • #218
    Is this what baseballers call the seventh inning stretch?

    I've never made it this far before - the end is in sight, the crown awaits.

    Of course I could just fall in an embarrassing heap.

    Bring on the "endgame".
    Another Ceramic DM

    Try my story hour, Shadow of the Spider MoonCampaign(on indefinite haiatus I fear), or don't, if you prefer.

  • #219
    Registered User
    Magsman (Lvl 14)

    Hobo's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Michigan S. S. R.
    Posts
    18,976
    Blog Entries
    20

    ° Ignore Hobo
    Originally posted by Maldur
    JD: I have to say I like the original Golem story better , but you rewrote it enough to make it a different story
    Truth be told, so do I. Then again, I didn't write it under the same constraints.

    "I realize that I am generalizing here, but, as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care." Dave Barry

  • #220
    da' finals!

    nooc vs joshua dyal

    pic 1
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails twip_2003_0619_09.jpg  

  • + Log in or register to post
    Page 22 of 24 FirstFirst ... 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 LastLast

    Similar Threads

    1. Fall Ceramic DM - Final Round Judgment Posted!
      By mythago in forum RPGs & Tabletop Gaming Discussion
      Replies: 447
      Last Post: Saturday, 18th December, 2004, 09:46 AM
    2. The Ceramic DM round that wasn't
      By alsih2o in forum RPGs & Tabletop Gaming Discussion
      Replies: 15
      Last Post: Monday, 30th August, 2004, 07:59 PM
    3. CERAMIC D.M. Final Judgements In- New Champion!
      By alsih2o in forum Archive-threads
      Replies: 282
      Last Post: Tuesday, 25th March, 2003, 02:27 AM
    4. ceramic d.m., the round that wasn't (prize giveaway) :)
      By alsih2o in forum RPGs & Tabletop Gaming Discussion
      Replies: 15
      Last Post: Wednesday, 12th March, 2003, 05:48 AM
    5. new, improved ceramic d.m.! anyone ready?
      By alsih2o in forum RPGs & Tabletop Gaming Discussion
      Replies: 17
      Last Post: Thursday, 9th January, 2003, 12:56 AM

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •