1) No, the gender differences in the rules weren't elegant. They were clumsy and sexist. Whatever their intentions, all they did was penalize female character who wanted to be warrior types.
2) In the current era, PCs are expected to raise their stats, or at least a few of them, beyond natural human maximums. At that point, whether it's "realistic" for one gender to be a tiny bit stronger than the other goes right out the window. Plus, even if there were a solid argument for it being true for humans, the game applied it across the board. Why are we arguing "realistic" gender strength differences for dwarves?
3) Not only would I not play in a game that brought back gender-related penalties, I would not even play in a group with a player who wanted them brought back. There's more than enough sexism in the real world, and no matter what your reasons or intent are in bringing back such rules, the result is a women-only penalty. No thank you to that, and no thank you to any player who's okay with that.