Dear Mirta~
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve last written to you. You know how I get- I put things off. I wouldn’t even do the dishes half the time if I didn’t remember how you’d stand in the doorway and say “Oh, by the way, Nuttin, a little clan of pixies just walked in the door. They’re washing the dishes, so don’t worry about washing them like I’ve been asking you to all day.” Little things like that make me laugh.
The kids, as you know, are all grown up and moved away. Our little Brenni’s still married to that nice young man up North. I think they’re expecting their first child soon… imagine, Mirta! A grandchild, at last! Thaip is running a successful general store over across the mountains. He’s seeing someone, but last I heard it was too early to give me any details. Of course, that was five months ago, so there’s no telling, now. Winyul is still traveling with that adventuring party. I haven’t seen him in a year. I hope he’s alright. I imagine you’d know if he wasn’t, right? Send me a sign, if you know… If he’s with you, I just want to know so I can stop worrying.
Mornings have been really bad lately. I sit up in bed and wait there, hands trembling, until I can think of a good reason to get up. I hate it, dear. In the world around me, life goes on- people get married, work, are born, live and love. My love for life died with you. I don’t see the children anymore, and I don’t really blame them; they have their own lives now. They don’t need me holding them back. I get up, sit around the house, and go to sleep.
Remember Zuttimer Hindleffson? He was the gnome who lived across the way… you remember. Well, he’s been living alone since his wife died ten years ago. He passed on recently. I attended his funeral, and it struck me- what did he do, the last ten years of his life? He sat around going through the motions and trying to forget that he was alive but had no reason to live. He sat around waiting to die.
I’ve come to a decision, Mirta. I’m not going to do that.
I went out today and bought some books. I’m going to learn a few new tricks, yes I am. I’m not going to sit here and watch my teeth fall out of my head while I wait for the reaper. I’ve decided that I’m going to go out into the world and find death on my terms. I’m going to become an adventurer. I’m going to learn the art of spellcraft, then I’m going to leave our house and go wandering the Flanaess, righting wrongs where I can.
Better to die on your feet doing good than to spend years alone, without loving or living. I can find problems and right them. If I should die, well, I did what I could for the world… and I’ll be with you all that much sooner. For the first time in years I'm truly looking forward to something.
I’ll write to you again soon, dear. I love you.
~Nuttin
