Why does the stigma of the "jerk GM" still persist in our hobby?

I began reflecting on this while authoring a reply in this thread, and it's stuck with me since then.

Why is it that this particular hobby is so prone to producing narratives that involve having to put up with / get away from dysfunctional, misanthropic GMs? Why does this remain such a broadly-familiar trope in our hobby?

The obvious, easy answer is to say that it's no more prevalent than in any other hobby, that the world is filled with jerks in all walks of life, and that RPGs are no more prone to having jerks within our ranks than any other sector or leisure activity.

But it feels to me that there's something more to it than that.

If you've never read the book Code by Lawrence Lessig, I highly recommend it just on general scholarly principle. He's a former dean of Stanford Law who's argued numerous copyright and IP cases within the United States Supreme Court.

In the book on page 123, he essentially lays out a set of four basic constraints that tend to regulate individual behavior.

• Legal constraints --- systems of laws and statutes with prescribed punishments for breaking them (fines, incarceration).
• Social norms --- the socially constructed norms that outline good behavior, polite behavior, moral behavior, etc.
• Architecture --- physical, real-world constructs that either serve to disincent or outright prevent certain behaviors (example: locks on doors don't prevent all thefts, but they do disincent thieves who go around looking for "easy pickings").
• The Market --- economic incentives or disincentives that drive certain behaviors (Lessig's example is taxation of cigarettes---make something more expensive, it impacts buying behavior).

Lessig states that while these are distinct, they're obviously interdependent; changing or moving one "pillar" has ripple effect on the other three.

Interestingly, when I look at his four pillars, the only one that constrains behavior in regards to the "act of being a GM" is social norms.

• It's not illegal to be a jerk GM (sadly, some might say ).
• You can't physically architect a solution to constrain this behavior. Though it would be cool to have RPG books that physically handcuffed the GM to the table if/when (s)he was being a jerk.
• There's no market-driven solution---if a jerk GM has the money to buy books and can remain civil enough to run games in public settings, (s)he has access to all the economic capital they need.

So based on this, the only real constraint we have to offer is to drive social norms into more positive directions to curb crappy GM behavior.

(I realize that on some level, this is probably over-analyzing the problem; if a jerk wants to be a jerk, it's their prerogative, live and let live, and all that. I really am just sort of exploring this out of curiosity.)

So what factors of the social dynamic in our hobby seem to create this repeated narrative of the jerk GM?

Is that overbearing, jerk-ish GMs aren't really jerks at heart, they just GM that way because they don't know better? Is it simply a function that "jerk GM-ing" is pretty far up the pyramid of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and as such, isn't worth wasting much energy over even when we encounter it first hand? Since there's no real virtue or reward in pushing back on the jerkiness, do we figure there's no point in bothering?

I ask this in light of the context that I think all of us would love to have a hobby near and dear to our hearts continue to grow and be welcomed as an increasingly popular way to spend leisure time.

innerdude said:

So what factors of the social dynamic in our hobby seem to create this repeated narrative of the jerk GM?

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Nothing in our hobby creates it. The social dynamic is created by those raising the jerk DM. It was their responsibility to teach him not to be a jerk and they failed. Said jerks end up in every hobby, job, walk of life and more, so it's no surprise that a small minority of them end up as DMs to be encountered.

It seems to me that overbearing, jerk-ish people are sometimes drawn to the role of GM, because it enables them to act on their jerk-ish impulses with fewer repercussions. A bad player can be kicked without destroying a campaign, but if you kick the GM, then nobody gets to play; so those who are willing to put up with that sort of behavior become enablers.

There's also some overlap between being an overbearing jerk and being a good GM, since the GM can sometimes need to be authoritative and decisive in order to keep things moving.

The problem becomes that when given power, most people kinda suck at using it properly. It's the same reason we run into so many terrible managers in the workplace and so many corrupt politicians. They're people who have never had power and have no idea how to wield it, or they're people who come from power and have been raised around people who must obey them. Sure, some of them learn, some quickly, others slowly, some never at all. Most will at some point pick the "iron fist" approach to DMing.

Though I'd disagree that DMs aren't governed by market factors and architecture factors.
An architectural factor is "places to play". Bad DMs will often get removed from them for a market factor of they're just a stinky human being they're driving away business. Bad DMs will no longer be invited to homes that are not theirs.
A market factor besides the above is the availability of DMs. Heck, some people DM for money! But depending on where you live, it might be fairly easy to find a new DM, it might not.

End of the day, the flaw is that DMs are humans. I think if you stopped and looked around at other people in positions of authority, you'd see the outlook isn't much better.

Saelorn said:

There's also some overlap between being an overbearing jerk and being a good GM, since the GM can sometimes need to be authoritative and decisive in order to keep things moving.

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I can attest to this.

A person I used to know was a complete jerk both as a person and as a player; but as a DM he was very good indeed. He had the imagination to come up with a good tale, the personality and acting chops to keep people engaged in it, and was able to stand back and let the players (via their PCs) take the stage.

And keep in mind, what's jerkish DM behaviour to one person might not be so at all to another; once you get past the fortunately-few real hardcore idiots.

Economics goes beyond exchanging products or services for money. Nonmonetary exchanges are part of the discipline as well.

To get rid of or minimize the number of jerk GMs, an influx of better alternatives is the best antidote. Costs of entry to the market are dependent on the costs of what you need to run a game in your favored system.

I have never personally experienced the jerk DM problem, though I do think that there are people who just don't have the disposition to be a good DM.

There is a stereotype frequently encountered in gaming with respect to PCs commonly called 'the powergamer' or in really old school 'the munchkin'. Removed of its pejorative connotations, this is a player who is motivated not only to win but to win in an impressive fashion. They want win, to impress, and to impose their will on the game - desires which if they are kept in moderation are entirely healthy and good for the game. It's a player that is looking through his games to receive self-validation and approval, and the means that they want to employ to achieve that is generally system mastery - often I find combined with a careless disregard of truthfully reporting the results of the rolls of their dice. I typically refer to these players, particularly the ones that seem to be controlled by their impulses rather than in control of them, as 'ego gamers'. Gaming is always about the illusion of success, but for these players that illusion of success is the sweet sweet nectar that keeps them playing and they are as addicted to it as any addict. There is almost always at least one at every table, and as long as the DM doesn't let them bully him, a powergamer can be a good member of the team as a whole.

Ego gamers are absolutely and wholly unsuited to being DMs. Fortunately, most power gamers gravitate to the player side of the screen because its from the player side of the screen that you most get the thrill of victory, but the truly dysfunctional of that crowd decides to be GMs and we should pity their players. Most of the jerkish DM habits I think come from the desire to win, to impress, and to impose your will on the game. As the GM you are always the center of attention. You often have half the words said in the session. If you get too addicted to being the center of attention though, you are a jerk DM. All good GMs want their players to have fun, enjoy the game, and hold their GM in a certain degree of respect. There are moments when it is great for the players to be sacred, in awe, or impressed. But if you get too addicted to those moments, then you become a jerk DM.

If I were to give a young DM two bits of advice, the second would be do not become addicted to imagining what you want the players to do, or say, or how you want the encounter to play out. Always plan for it to not work the way you want or expect and don't at all be disappointed if an encounter fails. There is always a next one.

Other stereotypical traits of jerk DMs are that they drop a system if players start developing system mastery. They tend to have pet NPCs and DM PC's and they tend to want to make these characters the best and most impressive characters in the story, and to give them all the attention. They tend to want to have the PC's always on the run, always in over their heads, and never confident of anything. In short, they want to always be winning, and they are dissatisfied with the game when the PC's start winning or even gain agency because it means that the game is no longer all about them. They cheat at the dice regularly. They are willing to break the rules to get what they want. They routinely railroad the players.

This is the mindset of a dysfunctional powergamer, playing the NPCs rather than a PC.

I think on facet is there's a balance-of-power issue, were jerk people end up being GMs more then the average.

Jerk players can controlled, can be asked to leave, or once their tendencies are known, not invited in the first place.

On the other hand, most games start from someone willing to GM gathering players. And even when it's a group of players looking for a GM, they usually aren't spoiled with a abundance of riches - good GM often are already running, since a good GM with a good group is a joy for them all. It isn't as often that a good GM has the time and inclination to run but not a group of players - and when they do, it goes back to the first case.

So, of the people who enjoy the hobby whom are jerks, more end up pushed from player life. Being a DM is where they can both find a game, and exercise any control/power fantasies they have.

innerdude said:

The obvious, easy answer is to say that it's no more prevalent than in any other hobby, that the world is filled with jerks in all walks of life, and that RPGs are no more prone to having jerks within our ranks than any other sector or leisure activity.

But it feels to me that there's something more to it than that.

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I think I'd have to be convinced of the premise before trying to figure out the reasons for it. What makes you believe there are more jerks in our hobby than elsewhere?

I agree that Jerks exist in all walks of life, I think that while talking about stereotypes that GMing can be enticing to those who feel powerless in other social situations. GMing comes with a sense of authority, not saying GMing in anyway grants authority, rather the act of creation itself evokes a sense of authority; a GM creates a game or setting, thus they feel in control of that game or setting. This inkling of social power can attract those who, traditional rpg players, may have felt marginalized.

I've played with many different players over the decades. I've played with some real jerk GMs in the past, and the common attitude between them is they enjoyed the power trip. The "It's my game!" GMs, the "This is my setting you're just playing in it!" GMs, the "Players follow the rules, I ignore rules when I feel like it!" GMs. I am not attributing value to these traits, rather the actions of the individuals that use these declarations as shields for their jerk behavior. Similarly to the "But it's what my character would do!" jerk players. Not all players who play to their characters are jerk players, not all players who use the "But it's what my character would do!" statement are jerk players. But jerk players tend to hide behind the "But it's what my character would do!" to justify their jerk behavior.

Power tripper GMs tend to be the stereotypical jerk GMs that I've experienced in the rpg hobby. Last time I played with a Power Tripper GM it was with a fellow supervisor at an old job. He discovered I enjoyed rpgs and would often talk to me about them as we shared shifts. I knew he ran games on our shared day off as he would often tell me about them. Then one day he invited me to play, I said sure, sounds fun. I was running games at the time, but as a forever GM I rarely get to play and was happy for the opportunity. He ran Pathfinder. I cut my teeth on rpgs with D&D 3e so was fairly familiar with the system. I read the corebook, made a character, and sat down to play at the FLGS he ran his sessions at. The fellow players were others we worked with so I knew them in passing. I was early to my first session because I wanted to make sure he had the chance to look over my character, and had some background stuff I wanted to ask about. As the other players filtered in I found out why I had been invited to the game. Over half the group quit last session. He had been running this game for like a year, but a few weeks prior him and his wife announced they were divorcing, and apparently he had been taking it out on the group. I should have ran when I had the chance.

He came in a half an hour late, while we all just sat there. Half heartedly introduced me as the new guy. Said we'd be playing until the store closed, in about 10 hours time. I was not prepared for a 10 hour game on my one day off a week. He said anyone who left early would be kicked out of the group. There would be one break for dinner about half way through. I waited until the dinner break, then asked when my character would be introduced? I had sat there for five hours without being able to roll a single die because my character wasn't there yet. "Soon", he said. The next half begins, he narrates my character chained up in a dungeon the party was going to, the orcs had stolen all my gear, as a 6th level Pathfinder fighter I had 0 gear. The party rescued me, let me use to spare pieces of gear they had been carrying. I never recovered my starting gear. We went through the rest of the dungeon, then towards the end of the session we entered a room, and my character was killed by like 30 orc bow attacks. Then the GM gloated about how awesome it was to kill my character. No save, all 30 attack rolls hit me, and he proceeded to roll each attack knowing full well that he had definitely killed my character, turned out to be something like 250 damage, on my level 6 character. While gloating, he told me to bring a better character to next session.

I was irritated, and challenged so I scoured the min/max forums for a decent build that could survive and still handle a bunch of ridiculous battles, then sat down next session. He took one look at my character and said, "This is overpowered." I argued with him for a solid 20 minutes about how he had told me to make a better character, and this was it. Eventually he gave in and said fine. First combat of the game he had my character sink into a soft stone trap with no save, and then the dragon that was the boss of the dungeon, ate my character coup de grace, no save, no attack roll, just narrated that my character was dead. I hadn't been able to make a single roll with this new character. I packed up my stuff and left. I learned from the other players that by the end of the session he had tpk'd the whole party with his dragon, laughing about each character death. At work later that week he gloated to me how he killed my "overpowered piece of character". But didn't know then that none of his players would be returning to his game, they had all contacted me saying how they were tired of his B.S. and were quitting the group, some of them quit rpging as a whole, some of them asked if I would run them through an adventure. Later on he would try to get me fired without proof of anything, blaming me for his group disintegrating. Then the company folded and I happily never saw him again.