One last bump, you unfeeling curs!
The (recent) history of Dr. Midnight
The group of highwaymen sat around on the stone wall in the bright sun. They whittled at twigs and did their best to ignore their grumbling bellies. Derret looked to the scout in the trees above and signaled. The scout shook his head. Derret cursed and went back to whittling. He was making a very nice pointy stick.
“What are we even doing here?” Thirghram asked. “There’s been no one worth robbing in two weeks. Nobody travels this road anymore! We should pack up and head elsewhere.”
“Where, Thirgh?” Derret snapped. “Where would you like to go? What road in the Dales will you suggest that isn’t widely patrolled or claimed by another guild?” Thirghram looked away. “That’s what I thought. Things will pick up, people. We just need to stay here and wait for the big score. It’s coming!”
At that moment, the sky opened above them. A tear in the fabric of space ripped wide. The thieves all looked up at it in surprise. From it could be heard the faint yet growing sound of a man yelling. The yell got louder, and a man dressed in black fell from the hole. The hole closed up, and the man yelled all the way to the ground, where he landed with a jarring thud. He rocketed to his feet, dusting off his fine and foppish garb.
The man wore black leather gloves, a very dashing black shirt, tight black pants, black riding boots, a black cape, a black mask, and a black cavalier hat with a bright red feather tucked into the brim. A glinting silver-hilted rapier was at his belt. A tiny, well-groomed mustache lay over his upper lip. “Ahh,” he grinned. “That was most painful.”
The thieves cautiously stood and drew their daggers and crossbows. Derret licked his lips and looked the intruder over. He looked wealthy. In fact, he looked damned wealthy- like a successful adventurer. Derret slowly unsheathed his shortsword. “May I ask your name, sir?” he asked.
“Well, that’s that for THIS wand of wonder,” the man in black said, absent-mindedly tossing the ornate wand over his shoulder. Derret gaped. A wand of wonder! Even one with no charges left could fetch a respectable price if the right enchantments could be made and the right sucker could be found. This man must be loaded!
“What is your name?” Derret asked.
“Have you seen Roundie?” the man in black asked Derret, looking around himself. “Little guy, fights crime?”
“Hand over all your gold and valuables, and TELL ME your NAME!” Derret yelled, grinning. He and his companions closed in, surrounding the man with swords and daggers pointed towards him. The man looked at Derret and his eyes narrowed.
With a flourish, the man drew his rapier and turned on his heel, spinning clockwise, holding his cape out with one hand. The rapier pointed downward, and as it spun, struck every blade around the man, forcing them all off-target. TING-TING-TANG-TING-TUNG-TING!!! The man then went into a dazzling display of swordplay and footwork, stabbing, slipping, cutting, and stepping. Men all around him fell. He cartwheeled out of the way of three thieves’ strikes, then killed them all through with one well-placed thrust, through their necks. “Hah HAHH!!” he yelled. Crossbow bolts flew, and the man backflipped and rolled to his feet, then knocked five bolts out of the air using his rapier in lightning succession. He spun and ran around the area, vaulting off trees and stumps, disarming and killing the crossbowmen with no real problem.
Only Derret was left. He ran forward with his shortsword, hacking and cutting. The man in black blocked every blow with practiced ease, grinning a winsome smile. “Who are you?!” Derret yelled furiously as he swung. He was losing badly, and he knew it. He had only one option against this skilled swordsman. “Wait, wait!” he said. He threw his shortsword at the man’s feet and held his hands up. The man looked disappointed. Derret said “I don’t think you’d kill an unarmed man, would you? Now, why don’t we discuss this? You’re obviously a very skilled fighter. You and me, we should team up! We could take the local nobles for all they’re worth! We could- huh?”
Derret stopped as the man slipped the toe of his boot under the shortsword and kicked it upward. Derret caught the sword without thinking, and gasped as the man stabbed him through the chest. “You want to know who I am, you slime?” the man hissed. “I’m Dr. Midnight.”
Derret slid off the rapier to the ground, dead.
Dr. Midnight wiped his blade, looked around, and shoved the rapier into its scabbard. He breathed deeply and took Faerun in for the first time. It was a nice place.
“For Justice!” he said happily as he walked up the road.
