X-PATH: Stick Your Citadel Where the Sun Don't Shine (Complete 5 Aug 2004)




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  1. #1
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    X-PATH: Stick Your Citadel Where the Sun Don't Shine (Complete 5 Aug 2004)

    Prologue
    Jacobsen shivered.

    He tried to tell himself it was the cold. This far down in the basement levels, the only heat came from the bare fluorescent lights in the concrete ceiling. The General preferred it like that. But then the old bastard didn't feel it any more, did he?

    The General. Like it or not, there was the real reason for the shiver. He was not going to be pleased with the younger man's news.

    Jacobsen hurried along the plain, white-washed corridor, the scuff of his patent leather soles sounding loud in the silence of Basement 7.

    The huge, stainless steel door at the end of the corridor swung open as he approached it. He swallowed, trying not to let his anxiety show in his face. Straight in with no wait meant the General was impatient.

    The room beyond the door was almost as bare as the corridor that preceded it. The only item of furniture was the vast, stainless steel desk, its surface studded with dozens of video screens. Every screen flickered with life, all 37 channels of GPE programming playing simultaneously.

    Jacobsen hated that desk. The constant flicker of images drew the eye, distracted the mind. The old man knew it, and used it. Another weapon in his arsenal.

    "Jacobsen. What do you have to report?"

    As if the old man didn't already know.

    "There's a problem with the prize for next month's WCX pay-per-view, GS." He took a little pride that he'd kept the tremor out of his voice.

    "Yes, so you told me in your last visit." There was a soft whir of gears as the old man descended from the ceiling. He sat in a cast iron chair - he'd owned it during the war, they said - his gnarled, bone-white hands clutching the arm rests. Jacobsen had never seen the old man lift those hands, but he'd heard the stories. "You said the matter was 'under control'."

    He swallowed.

    "I thought it was. The team of negotiators has never failed me, before."

    "Never send a diplomat to do a soldier's job. That was Eisenhower's problem: he kept trying to be one when he should have been the other."

    "Yessir." Despite the cold, Jacobsen could feel himself sweating. "But we've had a good working relationship with this tribe for several years, now. I thought that negotiation -"

    "We had a good working relationship with Joe Stalin, too." The old man spat the name, "Didn't change the fact that he was a son-of-a-bitch."

    "No sir." The first thing you learned at GPE: never argue about the reds. Not that Jacobsen had any intention of doing so, "He was a commie bastard, sir."

    "Don't patronise me, Jacobsen." The voice turned cold, "Not when you've come lookin' for me to pull your stones out of the fire."

    "Yessir. You have a suggestion, sir?"

    "Seems to me like this tribe of yours needs to be a taught a lesson. The kind of lesson that ass Montgomery learned at Arnhem. Don't get greedy."

    "Yessir."

    "WCX players have to abide by certain rules. Sometimes, an athlete comes along who has all the skills to go to the top, but who can't stick to those rules."

    "Sir?"

    "I'm sure you have a few people like that on your books, Jacobsen. People who are a danger to themselves and their fellow athletes. People who are a drain on our profits. People who are expendable."

    "Yes, sir. I can think of a few."

    "Kit them out, open a gate, and send them through. Tell 'em to teach these little bastards a lesson they'll never forget. And tell them to bring back that - what is it they're supposed to get?"

    "A golden apple, sir. It has magical healing qualities."

    The old man snorted,

    "Stupidest thing I've heard since Market Garden. Tell them to bring back that apple. And Jacobsen -"

    "Yessir?"

    "Send a camera. We may not be able to broadcast this, but I want to know exactly what happens."

    "Yes sir, I will sir."

    "You'd better. Because if you don't teach those freaky little bastards that nobody messes with George Patton, then I might have to teach you."
    Last edited by Capellan; Saturday, 30th October, 2004 at 12:56 AM.
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    Oh my.
    This one is going to be good. I can feel it in my bones.

    Sitting on edge of seat with anticipation.
    Be pure, be vigilant, BEHAVE!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Capellan
    Stupidest thing I've heard since Market Garden.
    Hilarious. More!

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    [QUOTE=Capellan]Prologue


    "We had a good working relationship with Joe Stalin, too." The old man spat the name, "Didn't change the fact that he was a son-of-a-bitch."

    "Kit them out, open a gate, and send them through. Tell 'em to teach these little bastards a lesson they'll never forget. And tell them to bring back that - what is it they're supposed to get?"

    "A golden apple, sir. It has magical healing qualities."
    [QUOTE]


    Okay, the Stalin comment - nice. Classic even. Slightly scary, but all in all - nicely done.

    The golden apple however - scared the crap out of me. Why? Because its dnd meets modern. You sir, are a genius. Of course, after reading your other storyhours, I already knew that.

    Oh, and the George Patton as the possible BBEG - wow. Nice.

    Peterson/Caixa
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    On the advice of GPE's legal department, I'd like to make a disclaimer.

    Any similarity to persons real or fictional, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Unless we're taking the mickey out of you, in which case it's parody and therefore allowed. So nyah. Furthermore, certain aspects of this entertainment programme may cause offence if you are: socialist, communist, Greek, a historian, Mormon, Catholic, Pagan, vaguely religious in any way, shape or form, agnostic, atheist, homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, transsexual, asexual. It may also offend those whose skin is of any colour whatsoever, including pink. Persons who have been flayed should be fine, though they should stay away from salt. Males and females may both find certain scenes objectionable. Studies show that you may also become distressed if you are pregnant, menopausal, or just plain cranky. If you're a fan of Elvis, watch out. Fans of Meepo are in trouble, too. Come to think of it: if there's anything in the world you like, dislike, or aren't really bothered about, expect us to do something to upset you. Face toward enemy, do not eat contents, product may contain nuts.
    Last edited by Capellan; Saturday, 29th July, 2006 at 10:09 AM.
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    I Defended The Walls!

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    Best story hour title. Ever.
    Welcome to the Halmae
    Where all the fighters are strong, all the sorcerers are good-looking, and all of the familiars are above average.

    Now with sequel goodness! A Rose in the Wind: A Saga of the Halmae

  • #7
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    Very nice, Capellan - can't wait to see where you go with this one
    Check out the action in The City of the Spider Queen Story Hour
    Or see how it all started in the Prelude
    A group of teenagers trapped in a sinister government experiment - can they survive Project Genesys? A Mutants & Masterminds Story Hour.


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    X-Crawl meets the adventure path? Let me go get the popcorn.
    I was the Iron DM: Iron DM Winter 2004 and Newbie Holiday Iron DM 2003

    Check out the Small Beginnings Story Hour, completed, and the new thread the Heroes of Icemist.Or a new SH In the Shadow of the Wood

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    Oh. Hell. Yeah.


    This one looks to be a good time.

    Color me subscribed, man. I *loved* the Market Garden/Joe Stalin comments. Classic.
    Check out the Medallions d20 Modern Story hour by OldDrewId!
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