Trading spaces, storyhour style. You read my stuff, I'll read yours.

RangerWickett · Aug 6, 2004

So, I'm a little bummed that my storyhour, here has gotten no comments, so I'm offering to swap storyhour comments. If you swing by my storyhour, leave a comment, and give a link to your storyhour, I'll swing by yours and give a comment too.

Sounds like a deal, huh?

My 'storyhour' isn't a game summary. It's original fiction, based in the setting I use for my games. I feel that the readers of the world owe it to themselves to tell good writers when they're good, and bad writers when they're bad, so as to improve the general quality of things they read. So swing on by my story, and let me know what you think of it.

For the sake of the world!

Desdichado · Aug 6, 2004

I'll play -- are these characters from a game, or just NPCs? Anyway, I have some specific comments in your thread. My Story Hour is right here. I have some comments from my players, and the other two people who read it.

Emperor Valerian · Aug 6, 2004

Fair turnbout is good. I've taken a look at it, and it DOES feel a lot like an authentic story hour, as opposed to a work of fiction. Don't know if that's intentional, but I like its flow.

My Story Hour is here. It's the first part of two... the second is an all fiction one that isn't gelling as well as the first did... its more practice writing for me for when the fall starts and my real story hours begin again.

Tony Vargas · Aug 6, 2004

RangerWickett said:
So, I'm a little bummed that my storyhour, here has gotten no comments, My 'storyhour' isn't a game summary. It's original fiction, based in the setting I use for my games.

No offense intended, but I'm a lot more interested in story hours that chronicle actual games. I like to see what other people do with the same rules, and how things turn out. I don't mean to disparage original fiction, it's just not what I come here expecting to see...

Shemeska · Aug 7, 2004

Feedback whores unite!

Alright, I'll play along too. And having said that, I'm glad that I did because it's interesting as I finish part I. Pro: You're a good writer and the story flow is really good. It doesn't get bogged down in overly long descriptions, nor does it seem dry or switch between tenses and persons. You've avoided most of the pitfalls of writing. The scene you start off with starts in with action and doesn't stop, it keeps me interested. Some of the comments by the characters are amusing, and as it has been said by others, it makes it seem like an actual storyhour from those lines. It's those snarky comments at times that actual players pop out with, and it lightens up the action and makes me smile.

While I have to go fully wake up, make coffee and drive an hour or so to go game this weekend I'll make a point of going back and finishing the storyhour and commenting on it in length Sunday night or Monday.

Con: However I can't get a fully accurate view of the characters. I only have a loose physical description of one or two of them. One seemingly a minotaur, and one an older wizard; the others I'm clueless about aside perhaps from sex and class. It makes the names start to blurr together in the absence of an introduction and detail that most storyhours give, but most non storyhour fiction gives as it goes at a slower pace. And yes, the size of the updates is a bit much given that. (As If I'm one to talk... I just posted a 10 pager or so the other night)

My own Story Hour mixes the events of my 3e Planescape game of the past two years along with inserted behind the scenes fiction. I'm a few months into the campaign with about a year and a half or so to catch up. Honestly the game will be finished by the time I catch up with writing the storyhour but I'm enjoying it.

Once I'm done with it I'll probably go back and write something w/ places to click to see the OOC commentary and OOC quotes from the various game sessions because my players have gotten some good ones.

There's also a seriously large amount of fiction that's branched off from the campaign itself, expanding some of the characters that have developed from it.

RangerWickett · Aug 7, 2004

Joshua Dyal said:
I'll play -- are these characters from a game, or just NPCs?

My story is what you get when you played Night Below: The Underdark Campaign back in middle school, then had eight years to develop your own world, flesh out the characters, and completely change the plot. So they're still adventurers, still in an underdark of sorts, but yeah, pretty much everything else is new. I basically took characters I loved from my first gaming experiences, and took some of the cast-off pieces of my recent campaigns, and sculpted a new adventure.

Also, I wanted to try out serial writing for a change, instead of shooting for a full novel, or doing short stories.

Thanks for the feedback, folks. I'll edit in a bit more description earlier on, and I'll include some embedded links to explain elements of the world if people are interested. I am trying to go for a more casual conversational style for the characters, to make things more fun to read.

barsoomcore · Aug 8, 2004

I'm in. You can choose either Barsoom Tales or Dead Man's Chest -- Wild Stewardesses is complete for now so doesn't need the attention.

MonsterMash · Aug 8, 2004

Wild Stewardesses was always going to get plenty of attention with a title including the S word.

barsoomcore · Aug 8, 2004

I've cursed myself, it's true.

Anyway, RW, I think this is a good idea. We could all use more readers, more commentary, more discussion on our work. I want to get better, and I think everyone else does, too. Let's help each other.

haiiro · Aug 9, 2004

This is a neat idea, RangerWickett, and you hooked me.

I only commented on your first post, because at the moment that's what I had time to read (it's long!) -- so if that doesn't satisfy the spirit of your Trading Spaces idea, I understand. My feedback is detailed and honest, so hopefully you'll get something out of it either way.

Here's a link to my SH, if I did meet your criteria: More Charisma than a Roomful of Nymphs. Let me know what you think.