of Defects and Nuisances

[Hairy Minotaur]

Slyphwhisper uses the distraction the insane enermancer and the mobile gateway to the plane of gravity create by swatting at tiny insects, to advance on the far chair and the crown that was laid upon its seat. The silver headpiece remains untarnished after all these years of neglect. Slyphwhisper pegs the crown as magical due to the impeccable condition the crown is in. The front of the headpiece is fashioned to appear as the upper jaw of a jackal complete with ears flanged up either side of the headpiece, the wrap around is formed to appear as dark bat wings that just touch in the back to complete the circle. Giving the chair a thorough look over for any obvious traps (as he had no formal skill yet fell into the party’s stereotypical rogue role) and then reached out and grabbed the crown off the chair. It felt odd in his head, alien to the touch almost, shirking it off as effects of the crown itself, Slyphwhisper placed the item in his backpack for further investigation later with a useful rogue skill he did have. Discordia giggled at the little man’s attention to the crown, as she had already determined the head jewelry was not magical in nature.

Helga shoved the enermancer away from her and brushed off the debris remaining from the destroyed coins that had fallen upon her. Glancing to her left she spied a sword, a cloak and a small metal object lying on the chairs starting from next to the crown and wrapping around to the entry door. Helga went for the sword first; knowing that resale of a weapon is much higher than for a used dusty cloak, especially one that a gnoll had worn. Remembering the embarrassment at the coins chair, Helga examines the chair thoroughly and discovers it is indeed trapped. Some kind of spring mechanism is waiting underneath the chair’s seat to go off. Helga tried to discern the proper way to disarm the trap; she had narrowed down her options to either applying pressure to the seat in order to force it lower a bit and then unhooking the spring or taking the whole chair apart systematically. Impatient she goes with the pressure option, standing up and facing the chair, Helga positions herself next to the chair’s seat and while removing the curved blade, she scoots her massive frame unto the chair to take the place of the sword’s weight. The chair manages a weak cry of death before utterly collapsing under the pressure of the pachyderm-o-sapien setting off the falling block trap above the chair. A five foot cubic block of stone comes crashing down on the woman who somehow managed to roll her bulk off of the slight one foot dais the chairs sat on and avoid the trap.

The chair and sword were crushed as well as the muted silence of the rest of the party that had busied themselves with picking through the rest of the treasures. Lord Horatius had a momentary feeling of elation as he thought the block had crushed the enermancer, but he returned to his sallow nature once he discovered that no one in fact had been injured and wondered why the fates tormented him so with the continued existence of the insane one.

“Is there anything left of value that we might want to take Discordia?” Tethys asked in her bubbly I’m sexier than you’ll ever dream voice

“Just the candle, everything else appears to be falling apart and thus not worth our time.” Discordia answers load enough for most of the room to hear.

“Dibs!” Helga and Lord Horatius yell as they both dive for the candle.

“Then why did Slyphwhisper take the crown if it’s worthless?” Tethys wonders

The enermancer had wondered over to the women by this time and hearing Tethys' question opted to divulge his unique knowledge at this time.

“Pounded tin takes a long time to tarnish; the gnome was merely taking the item to cultivate it as a useful hat that will block the demonic voices in his head. Tin is a good barrier that keeps out disembodied voices and the demons that are inherent in every gnome’s brain are difficult to avoid, I’m impressed that our little fellow there hasn’t snapped and gone insane, killing the lot of us and using our spleens to call forth the third coming of Grazz’t to dance upon our powered spines. I consider myself lucky to awake to Susan’s light every morning as it reassures me that the gnome hasn’t become possessed yet.” The enermancer explains

Lord Horatius reaches the chair with the candle in it first, he grabs the stick with his right hand and holds aloft his prize a smile of happiness that only a fellow pyromaniac would find comforting he turns slowly to see his life flash before his eyes as the human siege tower comes crashing into him with all the momentum of an avalanche. Helga envelopes the hexblade and forces his body between the cold stone of the wall and the sweaty fat of the marshmallow woman. His body under great strain, his hand relinquishes his prize and the candle rolls down the shoulder of Helga to be scooped up by her paddle-like mitts. Helga pushes off the wall and Lord Horatius and backs away with her prize now. Fumbling through her robes, she produces some flint and goes to work on the candle’s wick. A stunned Lord Horatius stares off into the room as the blood rushes back to his faculties.

Slyphwhisper passes the last chair on the north side of the room, spying the odd piece of metal on the chair, the gnome easily palms the item and places it in his backpack next to the crown for a better look when the rest of the party is sleeping, dead, or both. The final two items were rotting and were left untouched, a cloak and a crossbow, as the party backs out of the room and they head across the hallway to the next door south of the entry chamber. Listening to the door, Slyphwhisper deems the room safe to enter. Gramps slowly pushes the door open and the smell of ale and blood readily assails the party’s noses.

“Look sharp, there’s killin’ afoot.” Gramps warns

The rectangle room is thirty by twenty; several cupboards line the walls to right and also across from the door. Another exit lies in wait at the southwest corner. Boxes and crates along the southern wall belie the function of this room as a storage room. Lord Horatius storms over to the southern wall where a lone barrel sits quietly; its top shows signs of scratches as if it has been pried off recently. A strong smell of alcohol wafts from the lid and the sides of the barrel. The hexblade licks his lips in anticipation of a drink, using his dagger Lord Horatius forces open the lid to reveal the dead body of a gnoll that has bled out to half the volume of the barrel, a strong tang of blood drifts out from the makeshift coffin. Lord Horatius backs away disappointed and turns back to the party shrugging his shoulders at the loss of drink.

Gramps saw the shadow first; a small creature had climbed up the backside of the barrel and was leaping through the air. Lord Horatius was caught unaware as the assailant planted twin daggers into both sides of the hexblade’s clavicle. Lord Horatius yelled in alarm as Gramps raced up eager for a fight. Lavender quickly shot the bleeding man with her healing power as Discordia and Tethys moved to get better ranged options as the small figure was using the front of Lord Horatius as a shield. Slyphwhisper circled around to the opposite side of the hexblade from Gramps. The small pale female gnome barred her teeth and hissed at Slyphwhisper. Gramps set up a perfect flank for Slyphwhisper but the neither man was able to get the female deep gnome to open her defense up. Using the kneeling Lord Horatius who was getting healed as fast as the deep gnome was shoving her daggers deeper into his flesh, the female gnome kept Slyphwhisper and Gramps at bay.

“She’s possessed! Put your tin headpiece on her to get the voices to stop.” The enermancer cries out his vocal assistance.

Slyphwhisper shifted tactics and decided to try and feint the gnome to get her off-balance. The deep gnome was unimpressed with the amateur gnome and turned the tables on Slyphwhisper by showing him a feint of her own, the false move brought Slyphwhisper’s arm up in defense. The deep gnome dislodged the dagger from Lord Horatius’ left shoulder and shoved it hilt deep into the right rib cage of Slyphwhisper. The gnome whimpered in pain and twisted away quickly, Gramps tried to capitalize on the shift of attention, but the deep gnome was too quick and deftly dodged the lumbering dwarf. The deep gnome then replaced the missing dagger in the hexblade’s left shoulder with one from her belt.

“Crap, I’m going to run out of healing in a few seconds and we haven’t hit her and she’s downed two of ours already.” Lavender announces

Tethys fires magic missiles at the deep gnome, they hit her unerringly causing her to back off from the hexblade but leave her daggers still placed in his shoulders. Lord Horatius falls forward on his face, exhausted from the constant pain and healing that he had spent enduring for the last few moments. Slyphwhisper writhed in agony as he took shallow breaths trying not to rip the muscle even further. Blood was filling the back of his throat as his lung was quickly drowning from the wound. Discordia then backed the gnome up even further by blasting her with an eldritch bolt. The deep gnome skipped to the far door and retreated through it, slamming the door shut behind her.

Gramps removes the daggers from Lord Horatius and Lavender spends her last reserves bringing him back to consciousness, Tethys pulls the dagger from Slyphwhisper’s side and uses her healing magic to reduce the angry wound to a mere seeping hole. The enermancer races to the door the deep gnome exited and throwing it open expecting to find a waiting adversary is disappointed to find an empty hallway; he leaves the room to follow the small footprints as they head off to the east. Helga hands Tethys a bottle of liquid from under her robes and goes about kicking in the crates lined against the south wall.

“What are you doing?” Lavender questions the hefty woman

“Looking for the Jack-in-the-box.” Helga responds and returns to kicking in the crates

The noise in the room can be heard in the hallway as the enermancer creeps up to the bend in the hallway to the north, he sees the open door the party just entered through and feels a small hand on his back. Twisting quickly and aiming low he narrowly misses Slyphwhisper.

“What the hell?” The gnome questions

“What? Your hand was small, I’m hunting a gnome. What did you expect?” The enermancer answers

“Okay, I’m sorry. Which way did the B**** go?” Slyphwhisper demands

“Well, I think she’s stalking the rest of the party and has re-entered the room through the door we entered.” The enermancer relates

“What? Then what in the hell are you doing just standing there?” Slyphwhisper yells

“I thought you were attacking me remember?” The enermancer replies as the gnome races up to the door in question, peering in he sees a chaotic scene as the deep gnome has downed Lavender with twin kidney shots.

Gramps and Helga are trying to force the gnome back to the door so that Tethys can get to the bleeding Lavender without worry of harassment from the deep gnome. Slyphwhisper blocks the door and attempts to feint the deep gnome again but fails and takes a slash to his left forearm for the failure. The party backs the deep gnome into a double flank and a ranged aggravation from Discordia. The deep gnome manages to keep her defense up for a few seconds longer before the enermancer manages to slice into her shoulder, causing a cascading effect that brings down the deep gnome from a pummeling from the rest of the party’s attackers.

Tethys stabilizes Lavender and the party regroups by stripping the deep gnome of everything on her body and then stuffing the paler naked form into the top of the gnoll corpse and then the lid is hammered back into place. Their healing used up and not looking for another fight, the party elects to go across the hall and make a resting stand in that room as there is only one door into the room. Helga passes out two more healing potions as the enermancer stands guard at the doorway by emptying his water skin unto the dusty floor and shaping the mud into little figures.

“What hell are you about to subject us to now?” Slyphwhisper implores

“Quiet, giving birth is a complicated matter.” The enermancer replies

“What?” comes the gnome’s response

“I’m birthing some mudbaby protectors who will watch over us as we sleep.” The enermancer replies

“We’re not sleeping here and you’ve got mental issues that are going to prevent me from ever sleeping while you’re on watch.” Slyphwhisper answers

[Hairy Minotaur]

Slyphwhisper was determined to outlast the enermancer, the gnome propped himself against the wall opposite the deranged fool and watched the madman shape his army of mud replete with splinter weapons and long dead grass kilts. Through two watches the gnome practiced the walk in his head, envisioned the blade slipping between the shoulder blades and wondered if the idiot would call it macaroni. The enermancer paid little heed to the lawn ornament and busied himself with making a formidable conversation piece. An hour into the last watch the enermancer proclaimed his work completed and wiping the dripping sweat from his brow he turned back to view the gate into the heart of the plane of fire, otherwise known as Lord Horatius’ campfire, at the restless bunch of outlaws and miscreants and smiled. He vowed to one day tell them the story of how planer energy is really a myth perpetrated by doppelgangers but that could wait a few more days.

Slyphwhisper glared at the human redundancy and cursed the fact he’d let the night get away from him as he viewed the couple hours of sleep he would get as worse than no sleep at all and now he was going to be sitting up all night watching mud puppets getting sculpted. Lord Horatius was first to rise as his offering to the god of annoying brightness and uncomfortable warmth flickered out in a flood of wetness. Checking the fire and finding the bottom logs damp with some kind of liquid, the pyromaniac went into a cursing rage. Cursing Tethys and Gramps before he stepped into something wet and hearing the unmistakable sound of soggy dirt squishing under his boot, the hexblade traces the small rivulet of water to the beached whale being dehydrated before his very eyes.

“Well done, moron you’ve managed to flood your own oven.” Lavendar remarks

“You seem to like sticking your nose into places it should expect to get sliced off.” Lord Horatius replies

“Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the irony of it all.” Lavender answers

“Classic!” Slyphwhipser comments at the hexblade’s defeat

Lord Horatius smirks and retrieves a couple of the enermancer’s mud men and heads back to the dwindling fire.

“Hey! Those are for protection; you can’t just waltz over here and deplete the south flank without compensating with the rest of your sides. What am I supposed to do if the gnome goes feral on us and starts using his rakshasa like agility to attack me from the south?” The enermancer complains

“I’m sure you’ll cope, drink some of Gramps’ ale it helps the normal people cope, might be half as effective on you so I’d double the dosage.” Lord Horatius answers

The hexblade smashes the mud men together to create a mud wall for the sweat to trickle away from the fire.

“Why not just move the fire to another spot, or move the whale closer to the beach?” Slyphwhisper offers

“What? And accept defeat? Never! If I have to open a gate to the City of Brass to get this thing burning again, so help me I will do it!” Lord Horatius shouts

Helga snorts herself awake at the hexblade’s battle cry and turns over in her puddle, “Oh uh, I think I had too much to drink last night, and I seem to have a fever. I’m so hot. Whew!” The woman fans her face with her massive hands.

“You’re fine Helga, hemorrhoid boy here got irritated when his beacon for the invading azer army was extinguished.” Discordia states

“Oh, why are my clothes all sticky?” The large woman says as she picks herself up off the floor.

“That’s nothing, you should try wearing a leather bodice so tight that when you sweat the salt water drains down between your bosoms and collects there, then it gets cold and you’ve got this temperature gradient thing happening, the mountain peaks are burning up while the valley is in an ice age. It’s the most fricking uncomfortable feeling in the world especially when you run and the water sloshes.” Discordia explains

“I feel yucky, I need a shower” Helga complains

“Covered!” Tethys shouts and creates gallons of water over the large woman’s head, snuffing out the fire in the process and creating a smoke signal the size a titan would use.

The room is instantly blanketed in a thick mind numbing smoke. Gramps hacks himself unconscious as the rest of the party tries to gather their things in total darkness. Slyphwhisper feels his way along the wall until he reaches the door and tries to open it only to realize it’s locked. Fumbling through his pouches, Slyphwhisper locates a set of bent metal pins he uses to act as if he really knows how to pick a lock. Slyphwhisper however hides a secret as he has the unfortunate ability to cause mechanical objects to fail when he operates them. Sometimes this results in an unfortunate circumstance, other times it performs as it does this time as the entire locking mechanism disengages from the door and falls out into the hallway beyond.

“I can’t see anything! Who dropped the smokestick in the room?” Discordia’s voice rings above the din

“Soldiers attack!” The enermancer screams and starts launching mud men at the locked doors and the wall adjacent to the doors.

“I gotta get outta here!” Helga grunts and bull rushes the doors.

Sylphwhisper hears the stampede of water buffalo behind him and moves to one side of the door, he then grabs a piton out from his backpack and as the Sphere of Food Annihilation comes rumbling through the door, the gnome sticks out the piton and trips the large woman. Helga bursts through the double doors and slams face first into the wall opposite the doors in the hallway. The force of her attack on the doors causes them to swing all the way open and then quickly rebound on their hinges. The doors close again as Helga falls backwards unconscious and lands on the doors, wedging them shut against her wide girth.

Tethys drags Gramps behind her as she joins the enermancer, Discordia and Lavender at the door. Lord Horatius stands over the remains of the fire and tries valiantly to restart the conflagration. Slyphwhisper tires to escape but finds the doors immobile now. The rest of the party begins pushing on the doors and they creak and groan under the top heavy force against the human doorstop. Lavender flails around for the door handle and finds the hole Slyphwhisper’s machinations created. She reaches through and while searching for the exterior handle, comes up with a handful of greasy hair instead.

“Something’s blocking the door and keeping us in here to smother to death! I think it’s a troll!” Lavender announces.

“Let me see!” Tethys replies and drops Gramps to bend down at the opening in the door, through the smoke billowing out from inside the room, Tethys can faintly make out the top of a head resting against the door. Shoving her lithe hand through the hole, she takes aim and fires off two magic missiles into the head. The force of the blast knocks Helga’s head to one side and it lolls there, “I killed it!” Tethys rejoices.

The door however still won’t budge, Lavender comes up with a plan and the women grab one side of Gramps while the enermancer and Slyphwhisper grab the other. Using Gramp’s plated helmet and head as a battering ram they begin to beat the door down. The door cracks under the pressure and the quintet double their efforts to get through the door as the room behind them erupts in a blaze of victory as the hexblade howls with glee over his triumph of the soggy logs. The women scream and shove Gramps into the door one final time and the right side of the entry snaps in half spilling the party out into the hallway and over the cataleptic Helga.

The party regroups as Slyphwhisper plops down next to the startled Helga. Mistaking Slyphwhisper’s exhaustion as a friendly boost up, Helga plants one of her leviathan meat hooks on the gnome’s head. Ignoring the screaming and arms flailing, Helga wrenches herself up to a standing position as Slyphwhisper’s back and neck becomes an accordion of fractured bones and torn tendons.

“Ouch” Slyphwhisper managed to say before passing out. He wakes up an hour later as the party is arguing whether or not to camp outside the temple or press on in search of the baron’s daughter. Lord Horatius wins out after assuring the party if they can try just one more door he’ll only make the fire visible from the next county over as opposed to being visible from space.

Choosing the fancy double doors by the entrance, the party steels themselves for a fight. Gramps slowly inches the door open and the sounds of a dog barking and a something else in pain issue from the crack in the door.

“Quickly, open the door Gramps that could be the girl we’re looking for!” Lavender pleads.

Lord Horatius shoves the door open above Gramp’s head, throwing the dwarf off balnce and he falls into the room.

What was once a great cathedral has been desecrated and taken over by the gnolls. A crude altar of stone sits in the back of the room, a large female gnoll with a wicked looking cat-o-nine-tails stands ready to deliver another thrashing to a chained female prisoner on the altar. Throwing assessment to the wind, Lavender throws her healing hand outward towards the chained prisoner and connects as the gnoll’s flail slams across the chest of the prisoner.

“No, please. Mercy, Mercy!” The woman cries

“There is no mercy for the trespassing and weak!” The gnoll barks and connects with the prisoner just as Lavender’s healing bolt arrives.

“No!” *Crack* “YES! Hit me again!”

Confused the gnoll pauses and observes the squirming human quizzically.
“Uh oh, looks like in my adrenalized state, I amped up my healing bolt into uncharted ecstasy levels.” Lavender comments

Discordia bolts for the other side of the room as Slyphwhisper ghosts his way down the opposite side of the room. Gramps stands to his feet, flanked by the enermancer and Lord Horatius , while Tethys pines for wilderness help for the battle that is about to take place.

The gnoll priestess power grips the flail with both hands and brings it to bear on the writhing prisoner. Instinctively Lavender throws another bolt of healing at the human female.

“Oh God! YES! Hit me harder! I want it! I need you to hit me! Come on you upright canine piece of trash. Whip me like the infidel that I am!” The prisoner screams

“Crap.” Lavender comments

The gnoll is now thoroughly confused and stops to check the instrument of her torture for defects, as she focuses her attention on the flail, both Slyphwhisper and Discordia flank her and cut down the gnoll easily. Discordia grabs the flail and points out the other magical objects on the gnoll’s body for Slyphwhispwer to relieve the corpse of.

“Hey, tiefling. Psst.” The chained prisoner calls. Discordia turns to face the woman.

“I’ll get you out of there in just a moment.” Discordia answers and then returns to cherry picking through the gnoll’s possessions

“Hey wench, focus on the living you twisted freak!” The prisoner rankles Discordia

“What did you say?” Discordia inquires her blood temperature rising

“Oh, did I say something bad? Why don’t you come over her and whip me for being bad?” The prisoner pleads

“Fine, you want it you got it.” Discordia answers and whips the tar out of the prisoner.

The prisoner’s screams of pain and terror fill the room, Lavender looks up to see Discordia hammering away at the nude captive with the flail and recognizing that the screams are not in ecstasy but in pain and fear, throws another healing bolt at the prisoner and makes a dash for Discordia yelling at the warlock to stop beating the prisoner.

Discordia hears Lavender’s pleas and ceases her beat down of the chained captive. The men in the party stare uncomfortable at Discordia after the prisoner squirms in her chains and arches her back.

“Why did you stop! Hit me again you worthless half of a giant demon dropping, soulless womb of eternal stupidity!” The prisoner screams

Discordia raises the flail again but Lavender reaches her and stays her hand.

“What? Get away from her wench! She needs to finish what she started!” The captive cries

“No, I’ve got to think of how to best handle this dilemma. It might take awhile; I believe I short circuited her brain into associated horrible pain and suffering as intense waves of pleasure from my healing powers. I may have broken her mind.” Lavender explains

Helga finally reaches the fray with Tethys in tow.

“You! El Lardo, smack me around. I’ve been a bad girl and I need to be punished, whip me like an orc between you and a stack of crème filled cakes with syrup and icing and whi…” Helga’s ham fist flew into an involuntary rage from the perceived withholding of food and slammed the head of the captive from the side, dislocating the prisoner’s jaw and wrenching her neck sideways.

“ow… where’s the ecstasy?” The prisoner mutters before passing out on the cold stone altar on a pool of her own sweat and fluids.

Tethys tends to the chained captive while the rest of the party frees a group of prisoners lined up in a hallway adjacent to the altar room each one awaiting their torturous death at the hands of the gnoll priestess. The party learns that these captives are from an armed caravan that was waylaid two nights ago about a mile south of the temple. The gnolls had taken Captain Ettaire to torture first in hopes of breaking the rest of them, her distorted shouts of pain and ecstasy had frightened all of them into thinking their torture would go on for hours. None of them had seen any other prisoners but that had heard the gnolls mention another group of prisoners that the drow might like instead.

The able-bodied of the group were happy to don their equipment again and join in the battle to slaughter the remaining gnolls in the temple. The merchants fled to the entryway and barred the door from the inside and waited for what they hoped would be a victorious return. Captain Ettaire was healed and returned to consciousness. Where she promptly begged to be beaten like a cur, disturbing her former band mates and merchants alike, Lavender calmed her down and assured her that no one was going to beat her and that it was a side effect of the whip and that it would pass. Captain Ettaire elected to go with the group to hunt the rest of the gnolls with hate in her eyes.

A few hours later with no luck in finding any other prisoners or gnolls the group ran across a couple of retreating gnolls who fled around a corner and disappeared. They redoubled their efforts in finding a secret passage and Slyphwhisper came through. As the gnome and dwarf worked together to find the unlocking mechanism, Captain Ettaire approached Discordia.

“You whipped me like you knew what you were doing, as if you had handled that kind of situation before.” A Captain Ettaire started; sweat pouring down her forehead as she tried to control the trembling her body was wracking her resolve with.

“What’s your point? I can’t whip you anymore; you’ll need to find another outlet for your new fetish.” Discordia explains.

“Do you have anything sharp you could casually run across my body while applying pressure?” Captain Ettaire begs

“Yes, but I have a nasty habit of removing organs and spines with it. Best to move along.” Discordia says and moves up to join the rest of the pack as Tethys brings up the rear of the people train and encounters the twitchy captain.

The gnome and dwarf figure out the hidden latch for the secret door and get it open to reveal a long hallway with an enormous fresco of a human head at the near end of the hallway. The floor of the hallway seems to be covered in very fine sand, several inches deep. At the other end of the hallway is a large fresco of an armed human warrior.

“Well, they went down there somehow, lets keep pressing.” Slyphwhisper announces much to the joy of the rest of the group. The expanded party moves into the hallway, the light from behind them dims as bodies crowd the secret door, blanketing the corridor in twilight.

Lavender gets a tap on the shoulder, “Psst, Lavender. Can you come back this way for a moment?” Tethys whispers

Lavender heads back up the corridor outside of the secret door and finds Captain Ettaire prone on the ground, her Cuirass slashed open in front and a bleeding wounds skate across her chest.

“What the hell did you do?” Lavender screeches and races to heal the Captain

“We were playing a game called connect the dots, I went first and She told me to connect all the freckles on her chest with this little metal stick here.” Tethys replies holding up the object.

“That’s a dagger you moron, you cut her all up.” Lavender says and pours healing into Captain Ettaire

The Captain’s eyes flutter open and she grabs Lavender and pulls her onto her chest, “More! More! Give it all to me! I feel it!”

Lavender pries herself from the captain’s grasp, “Pull yourself together, I will not indulge you in this addicted destructive persona. I admit my role in its creation but I shall not continue to feed it.” Lavender explains and walks away.

“Oh! It was supposed to be mine turn next. That’s not fair!” Tethys pouts as Captain Ettaire squirms on the floor, a far off look in her eyes and an idiot’s grin across her mouth.

"What do you make of this?" Slyphwhisper asks Gramps while pointing at the layer of sand in the hallway.

"Obviously we're near a portal to the demi-plane of beaches, watch out for hermit crabs. Dude" The enermancer interjects himself into the gnome and dwarf's conversation, "see no danger here." The enermancer stated as he advanced down the hallway.

As he reached the midpoint of the hallway, the face fresco distorted and opened its mouth wide. A rush of air sound began race up the carving's mouth. Two stone minotaurs emerged along with a blast of air that stirred up the fine sand, blocking vision, making speech impossible and burrowing its way into every open crack and crevasse of the party in the hallway. The air picked up speed and begin to push the enermancer over the sandy floor as if he were skating. As he neared the far end of the hallway the large human fresco animated and waited for him to come within reach of its massive stone sword.

[Hairy Minotaur]

“I’m not going to make it son, you’re going to have to be the hero and save the lunatic from his own demons.” Gramps spat at Slyphwhipser.

“Are you drunk already? Why the hell would I save him? I’m hoping his carcass slows down the advance of those two stone guardians before we press on.” The gnome answers

“Fire in the hole!” Lord Horatius shouts as he shoves his way past the two shorter members and presses his way up behind the retreating against his will enermancer. With a mighty toss, Lord Horatius unleashes a vial of alchemist fire into the teeth of the wind. The gritty air grabs the glass container and flings it back at the pyromaniac who quickly ducks out of the way as the vial explodes against the wall next to Slyphwhisper and Gramps.

“We’ll never make it down there with the wind like that and with those two morons leading the charge.” Discordia muses.

“We need to get to the other side of the hallway but there’s no way either I or grandpa here will make it.” Slyphwhisper answers

As the trio mull over their next move, the enermancer and Lord Horatius meet the first of the two stone minotaurs and begin flailing blindly against the stinging sand.

“I got this chief.” Helga bear hugs Discordia, Gramps and Slyphwhisper and begins trudging through the sand down the hallway.

Helga’s wide frame plugs up the hallway behind her, creating a zone of breezy air as opposed to the cyclone that raged in front of her. The stone minotaurs were easily out maneuvering Lord Horatius and the enermancer, their heavy rock hooves allowed them to flank the duo constantly. Helga shifts Gramps to get him alone in her right arm.

“What’re doing?” Gramps wheezes

“I’m gonna toss you over the fight so you can help from behind.” Helga replies

“Dwarf tossing is illegal in this country, besides the gnome is build for this kind of work, I think the best move is to throw him.” Gramps answers

“What?” Slyphwhisper objects, but Helga agrees with the dwarf’s suggestion and drops him to the ground as her massive meat suction cups seize the gnome and launch the burglar over the combat. A stream of high pitched swearing streamed down the hallway and alerted all to the presence of a flying gnome.

Once over the combat, Slyphwhisper looked up and into the walking wind tunnel as the fresco slapped the gnome in the air like a hockey puck. Slyphwhipser’s stunned body slammed into the back of a stone minotaur, throwing it off balance with all the wind in the hallway. The enemy fell forward, allowing the enermancer, pyromaniac, asthmatic and exhibitionist the opportunity to crush the thing and they waste no time in completing that action. The enermancer presses against the wall and begins to close the distance on the animated fresco. Discordia and Lord Horatius use the downed minotaur as cover against the sandstorm, Helga keeps pressing on and meets the remaining stone guardian a few feet from where Slyphwhisper’s stunned body lay motionless face down in the accumulating sand.

As the enermancer got within fifteen feet of the fresco, the animated wall mural bent its head and blew its forceful wind straight down at the human, effectively immobilizing the enermancer to the hallway’s wall. The lapse in the sand blowing, gave Discordia the opportunity to eldritch blast the fresco from cover about sixty feet away. Shards of rock careen off the hallway as Helga presses her way up to the fresco swatting away the fragments like flies. Slyphwhisper continued to play the part of a lifeless carcass in the hopes that the fresco would overlook him.

Helga could see that the hallway dog-legged to the right. The fresco however took up the entire corner and made getting past him while he still stood a near impossible task.

The fresco released the enermancer from the wall and as he sagged off of the wall, the fresco slapped him back down the hallway with the side of its blade. Ducking, Helga dodged the airborne man and heard him ricochet off of Gramps’ head and finagling coming to rest a couple feet from the prone Slyphwhisper. Lord Horatius scrambles up to Helga as he weighs whether to attempt a firebombing on the massive animated wall carving or attack with his sword. Helga’s girth answers that question for him.

“You go on ahead; I’ve got your back.” Lord Horatius assured the woman

“Uh gotcha chief.” Helga replied as her light bending frame raced towards the fresco

“Wait! I said I had your back, not that I would follow you to certain death!” Lord Horatius yelled after the woman.

Maybe it was the perfect shot from Discordia into the eyes of the fresco, maybe it was the sweat that greased the lumpy pillow through the small round opening. Whatever the case, Helga twisted herself sideways and squeezed past the abbreviated swing of the fresco as Discordia’s blast struck true. Helga positioned herself behind the fresco and in the cramped space in the hallway the fresco had wedged itself so that it could only face the party in the hallway. For several minutes it flailed in vain to swat Helga who methodically picked the stone art work apart. As Gramps, Lord Horatius, Slyphwhisper and Discordia made sure there was nothing left of the stone minotaurs to reanimate.

As the fresco crumbled to dust, Lavender and Tethys arrived with the captain to witness the aftermath. Slyphwhisper ran to Helga’s position to listen down the corridor beyond for signs of company. Tethys checks on the face down enermancer.

“Is it dead?” Gramps asks of the enermancer

“No, I think I can save him.” Tethys replies

“Don’t tempt the fates; if he’s meant to stay he’ll live.” Gramps replied

“I don’t have any healing spells prepared so all I was going to do was pound on his back to see if that helped and maybe left his legs above his heart.” Tethys answers

Gramps’ face contorts into a mixture of disgust and disbelief, “I’m sure that’ll be sufficient.”

“Maybe I should get Lavender.” Tethys muses

“Why? Can’t you perform final rights?” Gramps inquires

“No, I didn’t study any bardic techniques.” Tethys relays

“I’m going to need therapy if we get out of here.” Gramps whispers to himself

Tethys waves over Lavender who rescues the enermancer from certain death much to the chagrin of the dwarf and gnome. Once the party can walk again they all make their way to Slyphwhisper who’s peering around a corner down a long hallway. Slyphwhisper motions for the party to follow him as he carefully traces his path along the sandy floor, keeping a close eye out for anything that he might call a trap, spotting a depression in the sand Slyphwhisper calls the enermancer up to the front.

“I need you to go stand along that section of wall, I think there’s a lever trap in the floor and we need to balance the weight to avoid falling.” Slyphwhisper instructs

“The best way to counteract gravity is to use loadstones to make you out weigh the pull of gravity, the double negative weight created will cause you to be repulsed by the ground and then you can glide away.” The enermancer declares

“I’m repulsed by you already, get over there!” Slyphwhisper demands, pointing at the other side of the corridor.

Slyphwhisper watches as the enermancer steps in the depression and arrives at his destination across from the gnome. Perturbed that it wasn’t a trap, Slyphwhisper presses on.

“I thought you don’t do traps well.” Gramps wheezed

“That’s almost right; actually I don’t do them at all.” Slyphwhisper confirms

The group rounds a turn and Gramps perks up and alerts the team that his underground mining senses have revealed the location of a secret door in the wall behind him. Pushing the door inward the party enters a well travelled corridor with a closed and barred on the outside door thirty feet down the hallway on the right side. The hallway continues and makes a left turn another twenty feet beyond the door.

“Awfully odd to have the brace on the outside don’t you think?” Slyphwhisper asks of no one in particular

“I don’t know, my pantry at home had the bar on the outside and we always closed the arn door with the bar on the outside.” Helga explains

“So you’re contending this is either their food supply or it’s where they keep their chicken coup? Who would do that hundreds of feet from any water, grass, feed, light or fresh air?” Slyphwhisper questions

“Stupid people?” Helga replies

“Lantern archons would do that.” The enermancer chimes in

“What? Why would outsiders need to store chickens on the prime plane underground and behind a secret door?” Discordia counters

“If I go check it out would you whip me like the demonwhore I am?” Captain Eterie offers. The party turns back to face her, “just offering is all.”

Lord Horatius pushes his way through the party and marches up to the door. He grabs the heavy wooden bar and instantly pulls his hand away and looks at it for a brief moment before collapsing in a heap at the base of the door.

“Should’ve checked for traps.” Slyphwhisper announces as he glides up to
the door with a smile on his face that gets washed off as blasts of healing magic from Lavender erupt into the hexblade’s body. With a disheartening sigh Slyphwhisper examines the door.

A hard shove from his right flings the gnome ten feet down the hallway as Captain Eterie begins to fondle the door looking for the poison the affected Lord Horatius, “Don’t use up all your special sauce on him I’m going to be injured as well!”

Lord Horatius retched on the floor as the poison and healing magic battled each other within his body. The hexblade lost all bodily function control and spasmed on the floor in a paralytic convulsive state, foaming at the mouth and projectile spitting at the same time. Captain Eterie stops groping the door after watching Lord Horatius’ display.

Sweating and drained, Lavender drops to one knee and declares Lord Horatius saved. The heaving waste stained mass on the floor of the hallway began to twitch before its ragged breathing normalized and it lifted it’s head, “next time please just kill me instead.” He groaned

The enermancer walked up behind Captain Eterie and grabbed her hand, before the protesting captain could free her hand the enermancer had placed her hand on the wooden bar and shoved the bar aside.

“What the hell! Don’t ever try that again. You could’ve killed me, why would you do that?” The captain protested

“I always practice safe trap disarmament.” The enermancer replies

A muffled shuffling sound came from behind the door and the party readied for action. The enermancer flung the door open and rush of cool air blew out the sconce across from the door, dim illumination reached only a few feet into the room. The enermancer’s moved to the threshold, preventing more of the dim light from reaching the room.

“Unless you be of turnip parentage I believe now is the time to gaze upon your savior.” The enermancer gloated

“What the hell was that?” Slyphwhisper scoffed at the notion the enermancer did anything more than open a door.

A soft mummer quickly gathered strength as a group of beaten and battered humans stumble forward amid tears of joy at the sight of other humans. The party quickly ushers them out of their prison, three males and a female. All of them fawn all over the party declaring them their saviors and praising multiple deities for their good fortune.

“Are you Baron Muchausen’s kid?” Gramps asks the female

“Yes, did he send you to rescue me?” The woman ecstatically perks up

“More like he’ll be paying us when we deliver you to him.” Slyphwhisper responds

A knowing nod from the woman ended the conversation as Slyphwhisper retreated to the secret door and waved the others to follow him. Half way to the door the gnome raises his hand to urge them to halt. He curses and spits at the ground, “We’ve got company.”

“Back into the prison with you!” The enermancer yells and shoves two of the male captives back into their former room.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Discordia argues and shoves the enermancer away from the door.

Captain Eterie shoves Discordia. Discordia stands confused, “now hit me back really hard.” The captain demands. To which Lord Horatius complies, a double axe-handle chop to the back of the captain’s head staggering the woman. The baron’s daughter begins creeping back to her prison, fearing it the safer place to be than in the company of lunatics.

Slyphwhisper throws a dagger to the feet of the enermancer which causes the group to pause their internal conflict, “you’ve got five seconds to follow me or you’re on your own.” The gnome runs to his dagger and retrieves it, then heads down the passage to the left and disappears into the darkness. One by one the rest of the party, including the newly rescued, follows the gnome down the corridor. The gnome finds a rotting wooden door ajar midway down the corridor and ushers the rest of the party inside.

Lavender creates a blue glow with her hands so that those without darkvision could see they were in a crypt, sarcophagi stretched out in a row to either side of the door along the left and right walls, “quickly find a hiding place, get low and don’t make a sound. Somebody put a sock in Gramps, I don’t want his wheezing to alert the gnolls about to spill in here.

With racing hearts the party scrambles to find suitable shelter, with everyone but Helga finding a hiding spot. The raised barking noises from down the hall told the party they would soon have visitors, Slyphwhisper told Helga to lay on her back at the rear of the room in the middle of the wall and act like a stone sarcophagus. Helga complies as the door to the room gets shoved open by a group of gnolls who peer through the darkness with eyes used to staring down prey in the night. Seeing no movement and unable to hear anything from all the panicked barking behind him in the corridor they continue on their way. After minutes had passed, Slyphwhisper steps out from his hiding spot and peeks down the hallway, seeing and hearing nothing he alerts the others that the coast is clear.

Syphwhisper tried to close the door but its hinges were rotted and the door slowly swung back open, frustrated the gnome knew they would need to move out of this room soon if they were to make it out with the baron’s daughter. Seeing his frustration, Tethys walked up to the gnome.

“What’s wrong?” The cleric asked

“This door won’t close nor lock, we’re going to need to move again unless we can get it locked somehow. I’ve tried everything I have to get it to stay closed.” Slyphwhisper relates

“You want me to wizard lock it?” Tethys offers

“Really? That would be awesome if you could do that. It would allow us to rest in peace.” Slyphwhisper accepts

Tethys comes up to the door and pulling it closed fumbles with the locking mechanism for a few seconds and then releases the door with a smile and pats the gnome on his head.

“That’s an odd somatic component to that spell; at least it was silent though.” Slyphwhisper sighs as the door slowly swings open, “Uh excuse me.”

“Yes?” Tethys answers turning to look back at the gnome

“The door didn’t lock nor is it shut, what the hell did you do?” Slyphwhisper inquires

“I wizard locked it.” Tethys answers

“Impossible, it’s not locked. If you had cast Wizard Lock it would be shut.” Slyphwhisper counters

“Cast Wizard Lock? No silly, I locked it. I’m a wizard and I locked it. Therefore its wizard locked.” Tethys smiled blissfully ignorant.

“Wizard Lock is a spell that’s what I thought you were doing!” Slyphwhipser shouted

“No silly, I didn’t pray for Wizard Lock, I prayed for fireball.” Tethys huffed

“What?!?!” The anger in Slyphwhisper’s eyes glowed in the pale blue light of Lavender’s hands, “What kind of wizard prays for spells?”

“Wizards don’t pray for spells goofy, clerics do.” Tethys said innocently

“I know that! What the hell are you doing praying for fireball then?” Slyphwhisper demanded

“Duh, it’s a cool spell; wouldn’t you want to cast it?” Tethys answered as she skipped away to talk to the baron’s daughter about fashion; “Let me know if you need my help again.” She called as she hopped away.

[Qwernt]

This is great stuff. What are the new PC's traits? I am guessing Tethys nimpho + airhead. For Helga, obviously obesity and inatentive (keeps grabbing the wrong thing)

[Hairy Minotaur]

Originally Posted by Qwernt

This is great stuff. What are the new PC's traits? I am guessing Tethys nimpho + airhead. For Helga, obviously obesity and inatentive (keeps grabbing the wrong thing)

Tethys has hot body and nympho - her INT just isn't that good

Helga is obscenely obese and fugly - her WIS is horrible

Depending on how much of the next part I can get into one update, the session coming up has immortalized Tethys' player in the annuals of our gaming group.

[Jon Potter]

Originally Posted by Hairy Minotaur

Depending on how much of the next part I can get into one update, the session coming up has immortalized Tethys' player in the annuals of our gaming group.

Well, I, for one, am looking forward to it!

Get writin'!, ya slacker.

[Qwernt]

Originally Posted by Hairy Minotaur

Tethys has hot body and nympho - her INT just isn't that good

Helga is obscenely obese and fugly - her WIS is horrible

Depending on how much of the next part I can get into one update, the session coming up has immortalized Tethys' player in the annuals of our gaming group.

You know, I think I can represent all readers in being glad Helga didn't get nympho/hot body along with what she did get... that would have been a little too disturbing to imagine.

[Hairy Minotaur]

This session took place on Halloween so it has a distinct feel to it. I left it short so I could get the entire night in one update, so this is like the preface to the action. Enjoy:

With the passing of the gnoll guards, Lord Horatius began exploring the crypt noting that most of the sarcophagi had writing on them. Unable to make the words out he noted that the words appeared to be fluid and fairy like and so concluded they must be elven, “Anybody read elvish?”

“Elves don’t possess a written language.” The enermancer answered

“Riiiight, anybody else?” Lord Horatius queried

“I’ve seen some elvish in my day maybe I could make out a word or two, especially if there’s cussin’ going on.” Gramps offers

“Why would someone deface a sarcophagus with elvish insults? And since when did elves bury their dead underground?” Discordia asked

“You’ve actually got that backwards, see elves bury their living and then after a day in the dirt they rise up as immortals and live out their undead lives in the trees as they regard the earth with a frightening remembrance of their mortal lives. But the negative energy doesn’t build up real well so and any hedge witch could turn an elf without a lot of effort.” The enermancer interjects

“Whoa, you’re like some sort of savant the way you call up facts like that.
Have you heard of any cures for glandular problems?” Helga inquires of the enermancer

“Yes, but your issue isn’t glandular, it’s more of a gravitational design flaw.” The enermancer answers

Lord Horatius turns his attention to one of the dozens of canopic jars seated in niches near every sarcophagus. The hexblade notes the peculiar design on the jars, something like a crude bullseye with an “X” drawn through it. Taking one jar he attempts to open it but finds the wax seal still very much in place, “Gramps, what do you make of this?” The enermancer tosses the jar to Gramps who wasn’t expecting the toss and the jar shatters on the floor near the dwarf’s feet. Immediately after breaking the contents of the jar spill out onto the floor, a black morass undulating in the dim light spread out and up Gramp’s legs.

“Spiders!” Gramps shouts as he tries to stomp the critters off his legs

“Swarm!” Discordia shouts

“Clear!” Lord Horatius shouts as he tosses an alchemist fire vial onto the flailing dwarf

The death screams of the hundreds of spiders are drowned out by the panicked cries of Gramps as he tries to beat the spiders and the fire to death on his body.

“Damn! If we only had a dead bard.” The enermancer decries

“Why? What the hell would you do with that?” Helga asks

“Dead bards are the natural enemy of fire; we could beat Gramps with the dead bard and put the fire out quickly.” The enermancer answers

The baron’s daughter races up to Gramps and douses him with a waterskin full of water, putting the fire out and washing off most of the rest of the spiders.

“Quick thinking Penelope, you saved him.” Tethys comments

“Where did you get that?” The enermancer demands

“Your belt, that’s what you use to put out fires. Plus I figured the water would help get rid of some of the spiders too.” Penelope, the baron’s daughter replies

“Did you now? Well I’m sure you think you’ve been educated real well by your father’s money, but none of that can replace real adventuring. So why don’t you keep to your pipe dreams and let the real adventures take care of the adventuring?” The enermancer explains

“What were you going to do? Light his head on fire and hope the controlled burn would cause the fire on his legs not to spread to his burning head?” Penelope asked

“You know far too much about me to be here by accident.” The enermancer answered astonished by the insight Penelope possessed of his mind’s workings

“Whatever, glad I was here to help.” Penelope replies

“I wonder if all of these jars have spider swarms?.................... which would mean they’re drow.” Lord Horatius connects

Slyphwhisper, quietly slipped a couple of the jars into his backpack while the rest of the party tended to the injured dwarf.

“How are we going to get out of here?” Lavender inquired

“We fight our way out, we’ve got the numbers and the hardware needed to overtake the gnolls.” Discordia answers

“Secret door.” Gramps coughs, “under that.” The dwarf points to a sarcophagus next to Helga

The sarcophagus lid is pushed aside to reveal an iron rung ladder descending into the darkness. With the sound of approaching gnolls, the party climbs onto the ladder and heads down. Lord Horatius goes last, waiting until the gnolls sounded like they were right outside the door before he throws two of the spider jars at the door and then ducks down into the hole. The escape to the surface was uneventful and just as dusk settled over the land; the party emerged from the escape passage and made plans for getting the baron’s daughter home as quickly as possible.

The party elected to camp for the night and then head out in the morning, the cave they emerged from was further to the south than they had been in the ruined temple. Heading back north was going to mean circumventing the ruined temple by a couple of miles in order to avoid any search parties of gnolls out on the prowl for their former hostages. Discordia and Gramps sighed in relief as they knew the next two days would prove to be the most challenging if they wanted that reward money. Financing a campaign against a lich-king had to start somewhere and Discordia was just a few days away. The rescue had gone about as chaotic as she preferred and it worked out just fine, she was spending the money in her head already. The sound of coins clanging off a wooden counter soothed her into a restful sleep.
Discordia was awoken early in the morning with the despondent mourning of the enermancer as he lamented a sunrise clouded by rain clouds.

“What’s his problem?” Penelope asked Tethys

“I don’t know. I’m not a powerful enough cleric to waste praying for the cure whatever the hell your problem is spell.” Tethys answers

“Don’t clerics live for the curing of humanity?” Penelope inquired

“Not me, I live to be able to cast fireball at some undead chump who is all prepped for a turning. I dream of the look in their eyes when instead of the burning light of righteousness there’s a burning ball of oh yeah headed for their head.” Tethys answers

Lightening struck nearby and the acrid smell of ozone washed over the camp as the very air shook with thunder. The storm posed several travel problems; they didn’t want to wait here much longer for fear of having the gnolls follow them through the underground passage. Yet traveling in the dimness of the storm allowed the gnolls an advantage with the eyes that were built for stalking in low light conditions. The party packed up their belongings as best they could in the downpour and set out to the northwest, hoping the gnolls would search towards the main caravan route instead of heading towards the river to the west.

The sky dove deeper into a grayish green as the wind began to turn the rain sideways, forcing the party to take shelter behind trees several times. Tethys surmised that if dryer shelter was not found quickly, sickness both the mild and fatal kinds could be facing the travelers. An infrequent smell of burning wood carried upon the fierce winds gave several members of the party hope that somewhere up ahead there was a house or an inn where they could stay. Another four hours of traveling brought the group to a water logged and heavily muddied path. From the edge of the woods a small village was visible in the near distance. It did not take any prodding to get the group to agree to press on until the village was reached. What appeared to be a short distance of perhaps a mile, turned into a three hour trudge through wet ground that became the consistency of a thick marsh as they made their way to the village.

The village was horseshoe shaped with a large well in the center of the layout a two-story inn rose just beyond the well and the flicker of candle light could be seen in the inn as well as the first house on the left as they entered the village. Dreams of a warm dry bed were shattered as the raging storm above their heads was muted by the blood curling cry from inside the house to the left. The candlelight inside flickered, the storm battered them, the party blinked in curious caution and the sky above shed tears more heavily than anyone could remember.

“Well? Do you want to see what that was?” Discordia asked

[Jon Potter]

Nice, HM.

I agree: you really can feel Halloween all over this write-up.

[Hairy Minotaur]

Slyphwhisper and Lord Horatius slosh their way through the muck to the back of the hovel, as they pass along the south side of the building, through a closed window they both spy a flickering light coming from an interior room. Continuing their trek they reach the back of the house and reach their destination a closed window in the kitchen area of the house. Lord Horatius tries the window but finds it locked.

“Give me a boost.” Lord Horatius demands

“What? I’m half your weight; you should be giving me the boost moron.” Slyphwhisper argues

“Shut up or you’re going to alert the homeowners of our presence.” The hexblade spat

A shrill scream quiets all but the sound of the rain, urgency pulled at spectators like a lost love while fear paralyzed them like a nightmare.

Lord Horatius grabbed the back of Slphwhisper’s head and forcibly bent him over, then planted a foot into the middle of his back. The gnome at first startled by the hexblade’s physicality resisted the weight of the human by trying to shove him off. The unexpected push from the gnome sent Lord Horatius through the glass window, into the kitchen and onto the sink below the window. Smashing filthy clay bowls and plates that were stacked in the sink. A second later the entire sink collapsed to the floor, spilling the hexblade into the middle of the kitchen. The commotion brought the dwarf crashing through the front door, splintering wood across the living area and leaving no doubt in the homeowners mind that they were no longer alone.

Slphwhisper deftly climbs through the newly opened window and as he skips across the kitchen he makes sure Lord Horatius wakes up with an extra bruise at the back of his head in the morning courtesy of his left boot. The gnome then slams face first into the plated chest of the dwarf as Gramps raced to see what happened in the back of the house. The dwarf bent down to lift the whimpering gnome off the floor but soon realized the whimpering was not coming below him, but to his left. Dim light flickering beneath the door into the small hallway brought even Gramps’ wheezing to a halt as the party picked themselves up and crowded near the intersection, trying to decide if a bust the door down weapons slashing or a more diplomatic rap on the door would be the best way to approach.

“Why are you worried about pretenses now? You’ve smashed a window, shattered a door and tore away their sink from the wall. I’m sure whoever is in the room crying could care less if you shattered that door as well.” Penelope observed

“Your sarcasm is duly noted.” The enermancer comments before throwing his shoulder into the door and forcing his way into a bloody nightmare.

The smell of blood and decay washed over the enermancer, ripping the smell of wet earth from his nostrils and shoving dread in its place. A dead male was propped against the wall opposite the enermancer a single dagger protruded from his throat, below the dagger his throat was misshapen and bloated, blood trailed down his arms which had clawed vainly to withdrawal the dagger before he expired. The blood pooled around his bare feet. The dim light was from a single candle which rested on a nightstand beyond a small sized bed immediately to the right of the door where the enermancer stood. Soft crying could be heard coming from the floor on the other side of the bed. Not wasting another hero’s second, the enermancer hurdled the bed and seeing a female body on the floor, adjusted his landing to miss the woman. The enermancer landed and rolled to his feet.

Turning to the prone woman, he finds her very pregnant and clutching a bloody dagger in her right hand. Wearily she cocks her head towards the enermancer, tears stream down her gaunt face and bloodshot eyes. Holding up the dagger the woman’s cracked lips part, “please, it hurts so much. Please get it out.”

“Tethys! This woman needs medical attention!” The enermancer yells

Tethys forces her way past Lord Horatius and Gramps, pausing for a moment to take in the dead body and then regard the woman on the floor, “I’m here to help, what hurts? Is it the baby?”

The woman shakes her head in disagreement, “my son” the woman looks over at the dead man, “he couldn’t get them out, he tried, he tried.” The woman wails

“What’s your name?” Tethys asks

“Please, I don’t have the strength. You have to get it out.” The woman winces

“Can I check on your baby?” Tethys inquires

“Baby” the woman answers

“Can you give your blade to him so that I can make sure you’re alright?” Tethys asks, hoping she can get the woman disarmed voluntarily.

The woman drops her hand to the floor and lets the dagger slip from her grasp. Gramps and Lord Horatius enter to investigate the dead male while Discordia and the Captain check out the rest of the house with Penelope standing at the door to the bedroom. Minutes pass before Tethys is done with her examination and she calls the rest of the party together.

“Whatever is wrong with her a simple heal isn’t going to fix, we need to see if this town has a priest or herbalist.” Tethys explains

“Why what’s wrong with the baby?” Penelope asks

Tethys pauses with a concerned look and before she can answer Discordia replies, “She’s not pregnant.”

“Not any longer anyway. There’s no fetal movement, in fact I couldn’t find a head or a butt let alone any other part of a child. I think she’s had a psychotic break. Her son’s been murdered and I just don’t think she’s in a good place mentally right now.” Tethys replies

“I think the guy killed himself, his palms were free of blood as if they were shelter when his throat was slashed. I think his hands were on the blade sticking out of his throat. Whatever is going on in this house is bad.” Gramps states

“Well, I think you and him should stay here and watch over her, while the rest of us go and find some help for her, I don’t want to move her unless we have to.” Tethys offers. The party accepts and Gramps and the enermancer pull off the pillow and blanket from the bed to try and make the woman more comfortable as the rest of the party get ready to head back into the raging storm outside.

“Where should we start?” Penelope asks

“The nearest building with lights on.” Tethys answers

“It appears there’s one across the way over there, and also one down there.” Discordia points out the only yellow lights standing out in a sea of pulsating blue lightening

“You want to split up and hit both places?” Tethys inquires

“Not really.” Penelope answers, the rest of the group concurs and elect to all travel together to the house across the street.

Lord Horatius lead the way and as the group heads out he catches a glimpse of the neighbor’s house and a whiff of burnt wood in the air. Stopping in his tracks he takes a few steps closer to investigate the house. The rest of the group protests and Lord Horatius waves them on. Not wanting to be in the rain any longer than necessary they leave him there. A few more steps closer and Lord Horatius understands why there’s no lights on in the neighbor’s house, there’s been a house fire that hollowed out the middle of the structure, leaving the outside walls erect. Lord Horatius remembered how low the candle was in the room they just left and concluded a few hours and the same fate would likely befall that house as well. The hexblade hustles to catch up to the group as they reach the house they sought.

Trying the door, Discordia discovers it’s unlocked. Opening the door the wind takes it from her hands and blows it open, the air rushes in and the brief glimpse she got before the wind blew the fire out in the fireplace was that of a workshop, carpenter was the first thought that popped into her head. As her otherworldly senses kicked in a few moments after the fire winked out, Discordia spotted the body near the fireplace just before the blood smell reached her nose.

“Another dead one in here.” Discordia alerts the group

“Whatever is going on here is bad, I think we should press on and find shelter elsewhere.” Lord Horatius says

“Maybe there’s something inside we can use? I’m going to check it out.” Tethys states

Slyphwhisper stays by the door as the rest of the group gets the fire relit. The dead body is that of a middle-aged man with a gaping hole in his chest, in his hand is a half completed marionette. The small wooden doll missing it’s lower half. The room is lavishly furnished with plush couches and chairs and a well built darkwood dinner table near the fireplace. A stairway to a lower level was just beyond the dinner table and light streamed up those stairs to the ground floor.

“I’m going to see what’s downstairs.” Tethys announces

Discordia and Lord Horatius move to join her as Slyphwhisper and Penelope search the ground level with Captain Eterie and the rest of the freed hostages. Penelope tries the closet by the door but finds it won’t budge, looking for a lock she discovers the door has been glued shut. Calling the rest of the group upstairs to investigate this odd feature, Penelope notes that the entire door has been sealed in glue.

“Tanglefoot glue, I’d know that smell anywhere.” Slyphwhisper notes

Perplexed looks wash over the group, “oh my god.” Penelope mutters

Slyphwhisper looks up to see the women staring behind him, spinning around the gnome catches the sight of the couch swing through the air before it connect with his small frame and the gnome is eject from the house through the shut front door. A shout of “zombie!” was the last thing he heard before his head skidded across the dampened ground and was covered in muck.