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Author Topic: Iconics Adventure 1.2: NeMoren's Vault marches on!
Regdar
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posted October 29, 2001 08:37 AM     Profile for Regdar   Email Regdar     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
But Regdar has no sanity score....

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I'm not Iconic, I'm Ironic!
Regdars House of Ale and Whores


Posts: 1007 | From: | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jozan of Pelor
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posted October 29, 2001 08:37 AM     Profile for Jozan of Pelor   Email Jozan of Pelor     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
"Call of...what?" Jozan looks around at his fellow Iconics. "Did he sneeze? By Pelor's Roasting Rump, I hate it when they do this right in the middle of the action."

Grumbling, he pulls a battered catalog out of his pack and starts thumbing through it. "Kahthooloo...kathuuuloo....how in Hades do you spell that! Oh." He pauses to read, then closes his eyes.

Jozan pulls off his helmet (revealing a horrible case of 'helmet-head') and then stares up toward the unseen sun. "We are totally screwed."

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"In Call of Cthulhu, the Evil Cult Leader is everybody's friend."


Posts: 120 | From: Temple of Pelor, Greyhawk | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Vadania
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posted October 29, 2001 10:50 AM     Profile for Vadania   Author's Homepage   Email Vadania     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Come on Krusk! The sooner we get this art done, the sooner we get a class book. Yeah!

*Vadania gives Alhandra a quick hug.* We'll be back shortly, you won't even notice us gone.

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Protector of Nature.


Posts: 220 | From: Greyhawk | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Krusk the Half-Orc
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posted October 29, 2001 10:57 AM     Profile for Krusk the Half-Orc   Email Krusk the Half-Orc     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Krusk pops open his masterwork cellphone and calls Vadania, "C'mon hon, let's go grab a bite to eat before the art sequence. I know this spot where you can get a great bear-burger. They even have a good veggie bar for Perea and me."

Walking away, Krusk bellows over his shoulder to the goblinoids, "And don't forget your lines next time!"

"Bloody amateurs."

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Posts: 57 | From: Montreal | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nebin
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Member # 4882

posted October 29, 2001 12:06 PM     Profile for Nebin   Author's Homepage   Email Nebin     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz huh ! What ! Call of WHO !
Nebin reaches into his belt and retrieves his Cell phone of Crystal Clear Reception and calls his Agent.

Hey Morty they screwed up the adventure on us again, now they say we gotta go playtest call of Cuthula.......I know it ain't in my contract........ You call You know Who and remind him I still got those Pics from GenCon of him and a certin Druid doing the nasty in back of the WotC booth.......Ok Babe see ya at lunch

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President of Iconic Local 236


Posts: 158 | From: Greyhawk | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Regdar
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Member # 4257

posted October 29, 2001 12:10 PM     Profile for Regdar   Email Regdar     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Bah Regdar's agent is going to get piked, it's bad enough Regdar had this d20 gig thrown on Regdar, now another d20.. Regdar is an WoTC Iconic damn it, not some fuzzy to be whored to other game companies and game titles. What next "Hay Regdar we have this guy named Darth Maul.."

Bah Regdar is going to go get a whore...

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I'm not Iconic, I'm Ironic!
Regdars House of Ale and Whores


Posts: 1007 | From: | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
-Lidda-
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Member # 6983

posted October 29, 2001 03:10 PM     Profile for -Lidda-   Email -Lidda-     Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Um.... hello? Hello?

Can someone get me down from here?

I'm still just floating here!

Anyone?

hello?

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Lidda surprises...
... and kicks you in the junk before stealing your wallet!


Posts: 46 | From: Sexy Halfling Land | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kazak
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Member # 6238

posted October 29, 2001 04:10 PM     Profile for Kazak   Email Kazak     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Piratecat:
Continuing in his loud voice, the gnome starts pointing at people. "Kazak, Ma'Varkith - you're both needed over at Ryan Dancy's house to pose for the psionics addition to the SRD...

"Well, I'm off then lads and lasses. Hope ye get on well with yer Cthulhu gig. Nearly go roped in for one of them meself. Fortunatly me agent found a "No Circus Freaks" clause in me contract..."

quote:
Originally posted by Piratecat:
Now, hip hop, people!

Kazak ties a bandana around his head, drapes several gold chains round his neck, sticks a Snoop Dogg CD on and starts break dancing.

"What do ye mean, not that type of hip-hop?"

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Kazak Dwarven Psion


Posts: 108 | From: City of Greyhawk, Dwarven Quarter | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alhandra
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posted October 29, 2001 04:40 PM     Profile for Alhandra   Email Alhandra     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
"Ka-thu-luuu??

Man, are those those slime-demons from outer space??

Well, since they're just a teensy-bit evil incarnate, I guess there's always a call for the right arm of justice, Alhandra!

But if they so much as get NEAR me with one of those slime-tentacles, I'm getting on the horn to my agent SO fast and reminding him about that no-hentai clause in my contract...!"

*and Alhandra already misses her Vadania-bear ;
wish I could be there to help you with the photo shoot! *

[ October 29, 2001: Message edited by: Alhandra ]

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Born to beat bad.


Posts: 151 | From: Free City of Greyhawk...upper west side | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
-Lidda-
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posted October 29, 2001 10:42 PM     Profile for -Lidda-   Email -Lidda-     Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Slimy tentacles?

Oh, great. I suppose that when I get down from here, its into a sailor schoolgirl uniform for me!

--------------------

Lidda surprises...
... and kicks you in the junk before stealing your wallet!


Posts: 46 | From: Sexy Halfling Land | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ma'varkith
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posted October 30, 2001 11:58 AM     Profile for Ma'varkith   Email Ma'varkith     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Ma'varkith releases the catch on a winch hidden behind a pile of foam-rubber rubble. The Halfling Rogue, suspended from a near invisible wire attached to a harness, is dropped onto soft padding below. Helping the smaller adventurer to her feet, Ma' winks at her and grins.

"Lidda, Monte was looking for you. He says you're needed in Wardrobe."

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Posts: 70 | From: | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jozan of Pelor
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posted October 30, 2001 12:53 PM     Profile for Jozan of Pelor   Email Jozan of Pelor     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Jozan is busy flipping through the pages of a large, blue book. He looks irritated.

"There are no healing spells in here! And how can they call these abominations Deities? There is no way this fits within the parameters of my contract."

He is about to toss the book aside when a young boy carrying a battered suitcase trots up and tugs on his tunic. The boy looks oddly familiar*...except that this time he is wearing a red robe with the silhouette of what looks like a sumo wrestler with wings and an octopus head emblazoned on it.

Curious, Jozan leans over and listens as the boy whispers something in his ear. Then he pulls back to stare at the lad. "That can't be right. Are you sure?"

The boy nods quickly, then tugs on Jozan again and continues whispering. Jozan's expression alters from startled to thoughtful. He looks at the boy. "Just how many cultists are we talking about?" The boy whispers again. Jozan gets a strange gleam in his eye. "Anything? And this won't void my contract with Pelor?" The boy shakes his head. More whispering.

By now Jozan is grinning in a slightly unsettling way. He accepts the suitcase from the boy and pats him on the head. Then he pops open the suitcase and pulls out an adult-sized red robe--this one trimmed with gold. He shrugs into it, then pulls an iron bound book and a black ankh out of the suitcase. The word Necronomicon can just barely be read on the book's cracked spine.

Jozan tucks the book under one arm and pockets the ankh. "Just let them know that I've accepted their proposal, there's a good lad." He winks down at the acolyte and tosses him a silver coin. The boy winks back at him and scampers away.

"They love me over there," Jozan says with a disturbing grin. Then he hefts the suitcase. "Ahem. It seems I will be participating in the Cthulhu playtest in a slightly--different--capacity than normal. Apparently highly skilled religious leaders are difficult to procure under such short notice."

He smiles slowly at Mialee, Alhandra, and the rest. "But I will be seeing you over there, never fear." With a laugh that sounds oddly similar to an evil chortle, Jozan heads off into the darkness.


[*Note: latecomers and those with poor memories may wish to refer to Jozan's actions during the earliest phase of this adventure, here.]

[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: Jozan of Pelor ]

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"In Call of Cthulhu, the Evil Cult Leader is everybody's friend."


Posts: 120 | From: Temple of Pelor, Greyhawk | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
-Lidda-
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Member # 6983

posted October 30, 2001 01:57 PM     Profile for -Lidda-   Email -Lidda-     Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Oh, just great. I knew this would happen.

She stalks off to her trailer where someone from wardrobe is waiting. A while later, a very angry Lidda emerges wearing a sailor-schoolgirl outfit that looks too small for even her diminuitive frame.

Feh! I guess I am Lidda-chan for a while.

she reads from the script that she holds, and rolls her eyes

I just don't get it! If my magic ninja powers can destroy the tentacle demons, why don't I use them before they... yuck.

--------------------

Lidda surprises...
... and kicks you in the junk before stealing your wallet!


Posts: 46 | From: Sexy Halfling Land | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nebin
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posted October 30, 2001 05:18 PM     Profile for Nebin   Author's Homepage   Email Nebin     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Nebin walks out of the other wardrobe trailor wearing a velvet robe and smoking a pipe. On each arm is a scantily clad Halfling female.

Lidda didn't you get the note from Monte about the photo shoot for his secret project ?

O well maybe you can apply for a place in "The Gnome and Halfling Kama Sutra 2", come along Bunny and Bambi we need to practice for tomorrows shoot.

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President of Iconic Local 236


Posts: 158 | From: Greyhawk | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alhandra
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posted October 30, 2001 08:39 PM     Profile for Alhandra   Email Alhandra     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jozan of Pelor:
The word Necronomicon can just barely be read on the book's cracked spine.

Alhandra morphs into a freaky poofy-haired undead witch!
She grabs the book and starts levitating 6 feet in the air while cackling at Jozan -
"You will NEVER have the Necronomicon!!!
AH HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

YOU WILL DIE IN THE GRAVEYARD!
WE WILL FEAST UPON YOUR SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUL!"

*The Alhandra-thing collapses, face-down in a heap about 10 feet away from the group.*


Posts: 151 | From: Free City of Greyhawk...upper west side | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Krusk the Half-Orc
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posted October 30, 2001 09:02 PM     Profile for Krusk the Half-Orc   Email Krusk the Half-Orc     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
It's a trick. Get an axe.

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Posts: 57 | From: Montreal | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Devis
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posted October 30, 2001 09:34 PM     Profile for Devis   Email Devis     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
My dear. Pass out from Dwarven Fire Brandy during lunch and look what you miss.

Devis' hair is messy, and his clothes are wrinkled and out of place.

Hennet! Did you summon a fiend? What are you thinking? Have you not heard the Diabolist Canticles? Are you not accustomed to attending the theatre? One simply does not summon devils willy-nilly if one wishes to embrace his Final Reward.

Ahem.

I hear thy summons, grizzly messenger;
I feel thy touch upon my shrinking arm;
Yet not the unimaginable harm
That thou canst do me, or canst do to her,
Moves my strong will, nor makes my spirit stir.
Only thy presence gives a dearer charm
To this sweet state, this life so full and warm,
And shakes my faith in what thou may'st confer.
Resolve one doubt. Persuade me that we two
Shall still, as now, fare onward hand in hand,
Through the great mysteries open to thy view;
And thou shalt find us meek to thy command;
As quick to vanish as the morning dew
That gleams and passes from a sunny land.

--------------------


How many bards gild the lapses of time!
A few of them have ever been the food
Of my delighted fancy,—I could brood
Over their beauties, earthly, or sublime . . .


Posts: 98 | From: Aerdy, Great Kingdom | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alhandra
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posted October 30, 2001 09:34 PM     Profile for Alhandra   Email Alhandra     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
It's a trick. Get an axe.

The Alhandra-thing flies up in a blood-soaked RAGE, ironically turning the tables on the cautious and knowledgable barbarian...

(editor's note: whoa! that's so bizarro, are you sure we haven't been transformed into the reverse-universe again?
Is Alhandra sporting a goatee now? )

"I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!
I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!"

[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: Alhandra ]


Posts: 151 | From: Free City of Greyhawk...upper west side | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
-Lidda-
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posted October 31, 2001 02:25 AM     Profile for -Lidda-   Email -Lidda-     Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Lidda flips through her script

Hmmm, tentacle monster attacks Lidda-chan and... oh, my... hmmm, I don't know about that...
flip
Tentacle monster #2 attacks Lidda-chan and... eek! ... I didn't know that was possible!
flip
Tentacle monster #3, 4, and 5 attack Lidda-chan and... hmmmm, that sounds interesting...
puts script away

Well, Alhandra, you don't have tentacles so I'll just have to give you a taste of my ninja wrath!

from nowhere Lidda-chan produces exactly 3 dozen throwing stars and hurls them all at the spooky Alhandra

--------------------

Lidda surprises...
... and kicks you in the junk before stealing your wallet!


Posts: 46 | From: Sexy Halfling Land | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Piratecat
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posted October 31, 2001 07:34 AM     Profile for Piratecat   Email Piratecat     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
It's two days later. The last of the workmen strolls past the officious gnome, pulling his two-wheeler behind him. "All set," the workman says. "We gots all da new gear installed. You shouldn't have no trouble at this point. Youse do, youse lets us know. Fiery Dragon shoulda given youse guys an 800 number in case a breakage."

The gnome nods, and signs the workman's paperwork, thus dismissing him. He looks around the dusty passageway and checks his clipboard. "Hmmm," he says. :It'll take an hour or two to get people back in and set up, but according to this they should be in their dressing rooms by now. Oh, yes, and that Jozan was playing an evil cultist. I hope he's on time coming back from his true resurr.." He trails off and doublechecks his clipboard. "The evil cultists won? Well, I never. Hummph. I best go make sure they're all on time, and not complaining about the coffee and muffin basket."

The gnome strides down the hall on little legs, looking determined. "Yes. Just a few hours. Yes." His voice fades as he turns a corner.

[ October 31, 2001: Message edited by: Piratecat ]


Posts: 4084 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
Piratecat
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posted October 31, 2001 08:41 AM     Profile for Piratecat   Email Piratecat     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
The demon walks by on his way to the pit. "But look, I don't understand my motivation here. I mean, what is my persona really saying?"

Luckily, the silence spell at the top of the pit drowns him out.


Posts: 4084 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
Alhandra
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posted October 31, 2001 09:39 AM     Profile for Alhandra   Email Alhandra     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Alhandra shimmies out of the huge foam-demon costume that's been impaled by blood-marked shurikens and an axe.

"Sheesh! By Heironeous' good arm, it's hot in this thing!
This costumed wizardry will never cease to amaze me.
It's a bit too close to deception for my tastes, but it's better than taking that much damage for REAL."

She freshens up, dons her fighting duds, and retakes her postition at the top of the pit holding the rope.

"See, the trick with no getting a cramp when having to hold an action pose like this for so long is to make sure you have a balanced stance."

She looks at the demon playing the part of Hennet's thrall -
"I'll tell you your 'motivation': not having my foot implanted up your backside!
You call that 'fury from the Nine Hells?'
You call that 'a whirlwind of fang and claw'?

Read the script better next time - I've seen dire rats be scarier than that!

If you're gonna play a demon, you gotta throw yourself into the role - did you see me playing the Pit-Demon?
And that's not even my prime schtick.

If you're gonna have a niche in acting, at least do it well.
It's not like there's much call for 2-foot-high leading characters now, are there?"

Alhandra wipes some of the sweat off her forehead from the D20 excursion.

"Ahhh.... 'Rony warned me there'd be days like these...."

With a fatalistic sigh, she goes back to her position.
"Back to work!"

--------------------


Born to beat bad.


Posts: 151 | From: Free City of Greyhawk...upper west side | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jozan of Pelor
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Member # 6428

posted October 31, 2001 12:36 PM     Profile for Jozan of Pelor   Email Jozan of Pelor     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Faint shouting can be heard from behind Jozan's dressing room door. Let's listen in, shall we?

"Don't worry about the tattoos--my helmet will cover them completely!...
....Yes, I'm sure....
....Well, they shouldn't have underestimated the power of pigs blood and gunpowder, now should they?....
....I know, I know, but if the bad guys don't win sometimes it will piss off the GM Union. And I wasn't going to play it beneath my skill level....
....She said what?....
....I was playing the part, that's all, it's not my fault the high priest got over excited....
....Hey, you offered this gig to me, not Mialee...
....Exactly! Everyone knows virgins have to be naked in order for....
....I didn't hear Al or Naull complaining! In fact....
....Well, tell her to call my lawyer!"

--------------------


"In Call of Cthulhu, the Evil Cult Leader is everybody's friend."


Posts: 120 | From: Temple of Pelor, Greyhawk | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nebin
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Member # 4882

posted October 31, 2001 12:49 PM     Profile for Nebin   Author's Homepage   Email Nebin     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Jozan if you're haveing problems please contact your shop steward !

--------------------

President of Iconic Local 236


Posts: 158 | From: Greyhawk | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Devis
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Member # 4226

posted October 31, 2001 01:44 PM     Profile for Devis   Email Devis     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Devis is wearing a bath-robe, with a smashing scarlet scarf with gold thread draconic runes stitched into the borders tucked around his neck. He speaks into his cell phone, pacing up and down the hallway followed by a frantic halfling who is pacing double-time in order to keep up.

"Well I don't know what happened, Louis. I've had two lines of dialouge in the last 16 pages. Two lines, for the love of Pelor . . . Hold on, I'll ask him."

Devis turns to the halfling. "Where's Firey James?"

Into the phone. "He doesn't know. (pause) That's a lie, Louis, you've been lied to. (long pause) Well, of course you are . . . (blushes) Yes, I am aren't I? (pause) I see. Good bye."

Without hanging up, Devis hands the phone to the halfling.

Where's Hennet?

--------------------


How many bards gild the lapses of time!
A few of them have ever been the food
Of my delighted fancy,—I could brood
Over their beauties, earthly, or sublime . . .


Posts: 98 | From: Aerdy, Great Kingdom | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged

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