1001 things I must not do in an RPG.

Agent Oracle · Jun 1, 2006

The original was completely lost to the wipe, so I figure i could just as well start one with some classic lines I remember...

1. If I am playing a Red Wizard, I cannot start an import / export company and name it Thay Co.
2. There is no such thing as "Weapon Focus: Halfling"
3. Just because I could survive the impact, does not mean I should use the catipault for fast-travel.
4. Evards Black Tenticals are NOT sexual, in any way, shape or form.
5. I cannot disbeleve it's not butter.
6. They do not make Nair in Wookie sizes.
7. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she's obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.
8. No, I do not get EXP for every single crewman on the death star.
9. I am not allowed to play a character under the age of 17.
10. No matter how high my cleric is: 5 million gallons of water and 200 lbs of rock salt does not get me a swimming pool filled with holy water.

Turanil · Jun 1, 2006

11. Read aloud an incomprehensible word 3 times in a row, that is written on this lost crypt's wall.

Galethorn · Jun 1, 2006

12. Have an ambulatory easy-chair as my wizard's 'furniliar'

genshou · Jun 3, 2006

13. Bring nine of ten pieces of the McGuffin to the villain's castle when I go to face him.
14. Carry thirty flasks of alchemist's fire into an area well-known for random shatter effects.
15. Assume that there is in fact an end to the straight, featureless tunnel I've been walking down for eight hours.
16. Make a character with three or more of the following traits: Name of Drizz't, Good alignment, race drow, preferred combat style dual-wielded scimitars, figurine of wondrous power that summons a panther.
17. Create Fighters in full plate that like to wander alone in the Underdark.