IRON DM 2014 Tournament
- Thread starter Rune
- Start date
MortalPlague
Adventurer
You see a figure sitting in a tall-backed chair. The dark room is lit only by the glow of monitors, offering a brief silhouette of a villainous shape, his metal claw tapping the F5 key to see who his competition will be.
Radiating Gnome
Adventurer
The gnome, whose real name is John P Jones, smiles with fierce approval.
phoamslinger
Explorer
alas, my once former position in Information Technology fell apart with the recent recession and I spent most of the past week (40+ hours) hand dipping strawberries for Valentines Day. entertaining in a way, but not the sort of job you can do while also surfing the internet and keeping up with message boards like I used to. doesn't pay nearly as well as IT did either, but LOTS less stressful...
looking at the ingredients, War Game, Demonic Kangaroo, Treasured Junk, Repurposed Temple, Boastful Promise, Absent-minded Golem, we have Wicht's Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates (BTSG) and Waylander's War Games of Infamy (WGI).
BTSG had a faux battle between samurai armies, WGI had gladiatorial games. I'm going to lean towards BTSG on this one because of the pretend nature of the battle. when I think of a coliseum wargame, I immediately flashback on the first Rome battle from Gladiator which "recreated" the battle before the walls of Carthage. perhaps this was something that Waylander also had in mind, but the details just weren't there and a gladitorial match, while entertainment at its latin best, wasn't really ever a game for anyone participating. point to Wicht.
BTSG had a statue of a kangaroo possessed by an oni/demon. WGI had a tribal totem. what I was looking for on this one was "why the h... did it need to be a kangaroo? in neither entry did this come up, but at least BTSG made the front pouch a magical container. in WGI the totem could have been anything (again with McGuffins and IDM ingredients that can be swapped out interchangeably...). point to Wicht.
BTSG had a golden boat. WGI had a piece of overlooked trash. I always like when someone takes an ingredient and pulls and alternate meaning unlooked for from a word. a treasured (active verb, past tense; having been gold plated) asian (junk) boat was an interesting double twist on the ingredient. I will note however that in both entries, this particular ingredient stood alone and didn't really tie well to the other five. WGI had it as the controlling mechanism for the golem, but that really came across as kind of forced to me. if the talisman controls the golem, it would be magical and finding it on a trash heap just seems unlikely. no point to either unless I give it to Wicht for some out of the box thinking...
BTSG had a former monkish temple now being used as the site of the wargames.
WGI had an ancient temple now being used as the site of the wargames.
hmm.. oddly congruent there.
but in BTSG, the monkish temple has a bit of history, and ties in weird animal statues and the groundskeeper golem. WGI just tosses the ingredient in without developing it further. in the absence of such development, point to Wicht on this one.
BTSG had the statement leading to the wager. WGI had the guarantee of the good omen of the victory in the games. both entries used this as the launching point that brings the adventure about, so I will rule it a wash between them.
BTSG had the groundskeeper golem who moves around and interferes with the orderly process of the planned campaign. WGI doesn't really develop the golem much at all other than that its magic is old and weakened. was the golem supposed to be infused with the demonic kangaroo power and then be unleashed against the armies of the Imperium? details, details, details. too much was left unanswered by WGI on this one as well.
[sblock]on an item by item level, even giving the benefit of the doubt due to Waylander's real life complications, Wicht carried this one handily. but as I've said before, just the ingredients themselves are not the sole judging criteria (at least for me). the main thing that kept bothered me on this match up was usability. in Wicht's entry, even if it were a western campaign being run, this adventure could be used in almost any sort of situation, with the PC's being hired in from distant lands to take on the leadership of the inferior force. Waylander's entry hooking the players by having them be aboriginal members of the Orakami tribe almost requires the game to be a one shot sort of adventure, maybe taking several play sessions to run through, but of limited use otherwise.
so this round I'm giving to Wicht. I was really looking forward to more from Waylander the Slayer, but (especailly since my judgements keep running later than the rest) I really do get RL not playing fair. [/sblock]
looking at the ingredients, War Game, Demonic Kangaroo, Treasured Junk, Repurposed Temple, Boastful Promise, Absent-minded Golem, we have Wicht's Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates (BTSG) and Waylander's War Games of Infamy (WGI).
BTSG had a faux battle between samurai armies, WGI had gladiatorial games. I'm going to lean towards BTSG on this one because of the pretend nature of the battle. when I think of a coliseum wargame, I immediately flashback on the first Rome battle from Gladiator which "recreated" the battle before the walls of Carthage. perhaps this was something that Waylander also had in mind, but the details just weren't there and a gladitorial match, while entertainment at its latin best, wasn't really ever a game for anyone participating. point to Wicht.
BTSG had a statue of a kangaroo possessed by an oni/demon. WGI had a tribal totem. what I was looking for on this one was "why the h... did it need to be a kangaroo? in neither entry did this come up, but at least BTSG made the front pouch a magical container. in WGI the totem could have been anything (again with McGuffins and IDM ingredients that can be swapped out interchangeably...). point to Wicht.
BTSG had a golden boat. WGI had a piece of overlooked trash. I always like when someone takes an ingredient and pulls and alternate meaning unlooked for from a word. a treasured (active verb, past tense; having been gold plated) asian (junk) boat was an interesting double twist on the ingredient. I will note however that in both entries, this particular ingredient stood alone and didn't really tie well to the other five. WGI had it as the controlling mechanism for the golem, but that really came across as kind of forced to me. if the talisman controls the golem, it would be magical and finding it on a trash heap just seems unlikely. no point to either unless I give it to Wicht for some out of the box thinking...
BTSG had a former monkish temple now being used as the site of the wargames.
WGI had an ancient temple now being used as the site of the wargames.
hmm.. oddly congruent there.
but in BTSG, the monkish temple has a bit of history, and ties in weird animal statues and the groundskeeper golem. WGI just tosses the ingredient in without developing it further. in the absence of such development, point to Wicht on this one.
BTSG had the statement leading to the wager. WGI had the guarantee of the good omen of the victory in the games. both entries used this as the launching point that brings the adventure about, so I will rule it a wash between them.
BTSG had the groundskeeper golem who moves around and interferes with the orderly process of the planned campaign. WGI doesn't really develop the golem much at all other than that its magic is old and weakened. was the golem supposed to be infused with the demonic kangaroo power and then be unleashed against the armies of the Imperium? details, details, details. too much was left unanswered by WGI on this one as well.
[sblock]on an item by item level, even giving the benefit of the doubt due to Waylander's real life complications, Wicht carried this one handily. but as I've said before, just the ingredients themselves are not the sole judging criteria (at least for me). the main thing that kept bothered me on this match up was usability. in Wicht's entry, even if it were a western campaign being run, this adventure could be used in almost any sort of situation, with the PC's being hired in from distant lands to take on the leadership of the inferior force. Waylander's entry hooking the players by having them be aboriginal members of the Orakami tribe almost requires the game to be a one shot sort of adventure, maybe taking several play sessions to run through, but of limited use otherwise.
so this round I'm giving to Wicht. I was really looking forward to more from Waylander the Slayer, but (especailly since my judgements keep running later than the rest) I really do get RL not playing fair. [/sblock]
phoamslinger
Explorer
...not that far off really. I write it out and then go back and re-read and edit two or three times to make sure it comes out the way I want it to.
Rune
Once A Fool
Round 2, Match 2: Wicht vs. Waylander the Slayer
Okay. Well, it's obvious that one of these two entries wasn't really finished--much less polished--when it was submitted. The question is, does what is there present enough information to allow the DM to run an adventure that is superior to the finished one, while also also utilizing the ingredients in superior ways? That's a tall order, but it's not impossible.
I think we'll begin with the ingredients, this time.
War Game: Right out of the gate, Waylander the Slayer's War Games of Infamy (henceforth, Infamy) falls short. Where Wicht's The Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates (Battle) uses this ingredient to provide a full-scale mock battle that also provides a frame for the whole adventure, Infamy only gives us what amounts to a gladiatorial match. It's significance to the adventure is good, but it doesn't quite fit so well.
I do wonder, though, what means General Hoshi employs in Battle to make his archers non-lethal.
Demonic Kangaroo: This was a tricky ingredient to use and both entries struggled with the same problem. Frankly, the relevance of the "kangaroo" part of the ingredient is lacking in both. The malicious trickster oni that Battle provides are a great complication that provide a layer of mystery and another layer of battlefield urgency. They add a lot to the adventure. But I can't figure out why the one inhabiting the kangaroo is so special in the context of the adventure. It's the leader, but the adventure doesn't really seem to care if they have a leader.
In contrast, Infamy presents a demonic kangaroo with far less direct presence in the adventure, but far more impact. It is, after all, a crucial component in winning the tribes' freedom. We are, of course, left to wonder what freedom so bought will bring for the tribe, but that's a good kind of question to be left with. Both entries are pretty close with this ingredient, but I'm going to lean towards Infamy.
Treasured Junk: I look at General Hoshi's treasured junk in Battle and I see a giant missed opportunity. We are told that any damage to the junk will flip his rage-switch and really turn things lethal. And, we are given some malevolent, murderous, and stealthy mischief-makers that could really take advantage of that. Unfortunately, there is no indication of such inclination, nor a means of making it happen. Disappointing.
On the other hand, Infamy doesn't give us anything more than "the PCs will have to look for something under some other stuff." That is as weak as it gets, folk.
Repurposed Temple: This is another ingredient that is used in about the same way and about as well in both entries. The main difference is in how important each is to the adventure. Battle provides a temple that provides a home for his oni that are both the cause of the temple's abandonment (and, consequently, the reason it is chosen as the remote location to be repurposed) and a lot of the meat of the adventure, itself. This is all very good.
Infamy provides a lot less detail, but manages something else. The repurposed temple not only reinforces the entire conflict of the adventure between a conquered indigenous people and it's oppressors, it also provides a means for that people to throw off those chains--and it does it in two parts--first by destroying the morale of the occupying army in the coliseum, and then by following that up with a summoned demon. This is very impressive, especially considering how little is actually written in this adventure. Again, I've got to lean toward Infamy with this ingredient.
Boastful Promise: Infamy uses this ingredient as a goal for the adventure. Proving that boast inaccurate is the key to destroying the morale of the occupying army--a necessary precursor to the havoc that summoning Hiawatha will unleash. This is superior to the approach that Battle takes--providing a premise for the adventure, but nothing further.
Absent-minded Golem: I like the golem's role in Infamy. It is an important piece of the adventure that the PCs must interact with and that the DM can use to introduce complications, while also using it to adjust the pacing of that section of the adventure. That's cleverly efficient.
However, Battle provides something that fills multiple roles as well, and does so with far more personality. The golem is a red herring, a wild-card on the battlefield, a possible tool for the PCs to use, and, perhaps, a very dangerous villain (if, as hinted, the oni can possess it). And, on top of all of that, it really feels more absent-minded than the kangaroo golem, which only loses direction--not focus. Sutondor is clearly the better implementation of this ingredient.
[sblock]So, we're actually pretty close with the ingredients. The decision, then, hangs on the quality of the adventures. Both Waylander and Wicht are traditionally excellent in this arena. And, bare-bones as it is, Infamy is fundamentally a good adventure. It's structure is well-conceived and pretty flavorful, as well. I was, at first, a little put off by the apparent need to use it as a one-shot, but, given the kind of questions it's conclusion raises, it could actually work as the start of an adventure arc, or even it's own campaign. I do lament the lack of detail, but I think I have enough to run this adventure and have a lot of fun with it--with some work.
Against one of Wicht's lesser works, it might even win. But Battle is one of Wicht's best. The adventure is dynamic, multi-faceted, and loaded with things for the PCs to do, all without feeling overly ambitious. The combination of mystery leading up to the battle and chaos on the field promises all kinds of fun.
I must decide in favor of Wicht.
...Which makes this another unanimous decision (I'm not sure that's ever happened twice in a tournament). Waylander, you know exactly what went wrong, and it simply couldn't be helped, so I really don't have any advice for you. You have been a champion before and easily could be again without any words of wisdom from me.
I do want to say that I'm fairly impressed with the depth you managed to pack into your unfinished entry and I'm glad you posted it, where others would have balked and forfeited. Even without much of it's intended detail, the skeleton of the adventure is one that other DMs could learn from and draw inspiration from.
I expect to see you compete again, so better luck in your next tournament.[/sblock]
Okay. Well, it's obvious that one of these two entries wasn't really finished--much less polished--when it was submitted. The question is, does what is there present enough information to allow the DM to run an adventure that is superior to the finished one, while also also utilizing the ingredients in superior ways? That's a tall order, but it's not impossible.
I think we'll begin with the ingredients, this time.
War Game: Right out of the gate, Waylander the Slayer's War Games of Infamy (henceforth, Infamy) falls short. Where Wicht's The Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates (Battle) uses this ingredient to provide a full-scale mock battle that also provides a frame for the whole adventure, Infamy only gives us what amounts to a gladiatorial match. It's significance to the adventure is good, but it doesn't quite fit so well.
I do wonder, though, what means General Hoshi employs in Battle to make his archers non-lethal.
Demonic Kangaroo: This was a tricky ingredient to use and both entries struggled with the same problem. Frankly, the relevance of the "kangaroo" part of the ingredient is lacking in both. The malicious trickster oni that Battle provides are a great complication that provide a layer of mystery and another layer of battlefield urgency. They add a lot to the adventure. But I can't figure out why the one inhabiting the kangaroo is so special in the context of the adventure. It's the leader, but the adventure doesn't really seem to care if they have a leader.
In contrast, Infamy presents a demonic kangaroo with far less direct presence in the adventure, but far more impact. It is, after all, a crucial component in winning the tribes' freedom. We are, of course, left to wonder what freedom so bought will bring for the tribe, but that's a good kind of question to be left with. Both entries are pretty close with this ingredient, but I'm going to lean towards Infamy.
Treasured Junk: I look at General Hoshi's treasured junk in Battle and I see a giant missed opportunity. We are told that any damage to the junk will flip his rage-switch and really turn things lethal. And, we are given some malevolent, murderous, and stealthy mischief-makers that could really take advantage of that. Unfortunately, there is no indication of such inclination, nor a means of making it happen. Disappointing.
On the other hand, Infamy doesn't give us anything more than "the PCs will have to look for something under some other stuff." That is as weak as it gets, folk.
Repurposed Temple: This is another ingredient that is used in about the same way and about as well in both entries. The main difference is in how important each is to the adventure. Battle provides a temple that provides a home for his oni that are both the cause of the temple's abandonment (and, consequently, the reason it is chosen as the remote location to be repurposed) and a lot of the meat of the adventure, itself. This is all very good.
Infamy provides a lot less detail, but manages something else. The repurposed temple not only reinforces the entire conflict of the adventure between a conquered indigenous people and it's oppressors, it also provides a means for that people to throw off those chains--and it does it in two parts--first by destroying the morale of the occupying army in the coliseum, and then by following that up with a summoned demon. This is very impressive, especially considering how little is actually written in this adventure. Again, I've got to lean toward Infamy with this ingredient.
Boastful Promise: Infamy uses this ingredient as a goal for the adventure. Proving that boast inaccurate is the key to destroying the morale of the occupying army--a necessary precursor to the havoc that summoning Hiawatha will unleash. This is superior to the approach that Battle takes--providing a premise for the adventure, but nothing further.
Absent-minded Golem: I like the golem's role in Infamy. It is an important piece of the adventure that the PCs must interact with and that the DM can use to introduce complications, while also using it to adjust the pacing of that section of the adventure. That's cleverly efficient.
However, Battle provides something that fills multiple roles as well, and does so with far more personality. The golem is a red herring, a wild-card on the battlefield, a possible tool for the PCs to use, and, perhaps, a very dangerous villain (if, as hinted, the oni can possess it). And, on top of all of that, it really feels more absent-minded than the kangaroo golem, which only loses direction--not focus. Sutondor is clearly the better implementation of this ingredient.
[sblock]So, we're actually pretty close with the ingredients. The decision, then, hangs on the quality of the adventures. Both Waylander and Wicht are traditionally excellent in this arena. And, bare-bones as it is, Infamy is fundamentally a good adventure. It's structure is well-conceived and pretty flavorful, as well. I was, at first, a little put off by the apparent need to use it as a one-shot, but, given the kind of questions it's conclusion raises, it could actually work as the start of an adventure arc, or even it's own campaign. I do lament the lack of detail, but I think I have enough to run this adventure and have a lot of fun with it--with some work.
Against one of Wicht's lesser works, it might even win. But Battle is one of Wicht's best. The adventure is dynamic, multi-faceted, and loaded with things for the PCs to do, all without feeling overly ambitious. The combination of mystery leading up to the battle and chaos on the field promises all kinds of fun.
I must decide in favor of Wicht.
...Which makes this another unanimous decision (I'm not sure that's ever happened twice in a tournament). Waylander, you know exactly what went wrong, and it simply couldn't be helped, so I really don't have any advice for you. You have been a champion before and easily could be again without any words of wisdom from me.
I do want to say that I'm fairly impressed with the depth you managed to pack into your unfinished entry and I'm glad you posted it, where others would have balked and forfeited. Even without much of it's intended detail, the skeleton of the adventure is one that other DMs could learn from and draw inspiration from.
I expect to see you compete again, so better luck in your next tournament.[/sblock]
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Wicht
Hero
A brief message flickers across the screen, momentarily illuminating the face of the watcher. "The pieces have been chosen, the opening gambit has begun, the game is on."
Wicht
Hero
A brief sketch of the genesis of the 'Seven Gates.'
The image of the temple, and a golem made me think of "Castle in the Sky," with its robots turned caretakers, and so right from almost the start, I knew I wanted the Golem to be a caretaker of a temple. The temple needed a new purpose, and making it a staging ground for a war game between two forces seemed efficient and evocative. I knew I did not want a living kangaroo, which meant that a kangaroo statue possessed by a demon of some sort seemed to offer interesting possibilities. I had this cartoon image of a bronze kangaroo which appeared in different places, its eyes glowing red when no one was looking.
I think it was the treasured junk that made me think of doing an oriental flavored adventure. I had originally thought of a pile of junk the golem was guarding, but then thought that was rather uninspired and thought about alternate uses of the word. The boat idea hit me pretty quickly. And my Kaidan work, being Japanesed flavored, inclined me towards samurai. Junk's are actually chinese, not japanese, but I could make the boat an import.
Going japanese with the flavor meant that the demons should be oni of some sort. Oni goblins capable of animating statues was a thing I had not worked with yet, but I thought it would make an intriguing sort of behind the scenes antagonist. As Kangaroos were not japanese either, the temple would need a reason for having a statue of a kangaroo. Making it a temple devoted to beasts worldwide seemed an easy enough solution.
The impetus for the battle would obviously be the boast, and in thinking about the boast, ten to one odds would make everything rather daunting when it came to the battle.
From there it was just a matter of writing. Certain things suggested themselves as I went along, like the implication the oni feed exclusively on Mammalian hearts.
As an addendum, and for what its worth, I have been casting about for a new convention scenario for this year, and as of this moment, I think that The Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates is going to get a full write-up as a one-shot scenario for use at Origins 2015.
Edit: One more thing. The dire _____ in the text was meant to read "Dire Bear." I have no idea what happened to the bear, but I know I typed it. Somehow in editing it got erased. It has bugged me ever since I hit submit and subsequently noticed the missing word.
The image of the temple, and a golem made me think of "Castle in the Sky," with its robots turned caretakers, and so right from almost the start, I knew I wanted the Golem to be a caretaker of a temple. The temple needed a new purpose, and making it a staging ground for a war game between two forces seemed efficient and evocative. I knew I did not want a living kangaroo, which meant that a kangaroo statue possessed by a demon of some sort seemed to offer interesting possibilities. I had this cartoon image of a bronze kangaroo which appeared in different places, its eyes glowing red when no one was looking.
I think it was the treasured junk that made me think of doing an oriental flavored adventure. I had originally thought of a pile of junk the golem was guarding, but then thought that was rather uninspired and thought about alternate uses of the word. The boat idea hit me pretty quickly. And my Kaidan work, being Japanesed flavored, inclined me towards samurai. Junk's are actually chinese, not japanese, but I could make the boat an import.
Going japanese with the flavor meant that the demons should be oni of some sort. Oni goblins capable of animating statues was a thing I had not worked with yet, but I thought it would make an intriguing sort of behind the scenes antagonist. As Kangaroos were not japanese either, the temple would need a reason for having a statue of a kangaroo. Making it a temple devoted to beasts worldwide seemed an easy enough solution.
The impetus for the battle would obviously be the boast, and in thinking about the boast, ten to one odds would make everything rather daunting when it came to the battle.
From there it was just a matter of writing. Certain things suggested themselves as I went along, like the implication the oni feed exclusively on Mammalian hearts.
As an addendum, and for what its worth, I have been casting about for a new convention scenario for this year, and as of this moment, I think that The Battle of the Temple of Seven Gates is going to get a full write-up as a one-shot scenario for use at Origins 2015.
Edit: One more thing. The dire _____ in the text was meant to read "Dire Bear." I have no idea what happened to the bear, but I know I typed it. Somehow in editing it got erased. It has bugged me ever since I hit submit and subsequently noticed the missing word.
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Rune
Once A Fool
Championship Round: Wicht and MortalPlague
[MENTION=221]Wicht[/MENTION] and [MENTION=62721]MortalPlague[/MENTION], you have 48 hours to post your entries to this thread. Please limit your entry to 2000 words. Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted. Neither the list of ingredients at the beginning of your entry, nor the title, will count against this limit, but everything else (including any definitions or descriptions of your ingredients that you may wish to include) will! Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own. You are on your honor to do so.
Your ingredients are:
Evil Wizard
Low Level Dungeon
Angry Ogre
Pile of Treasure
Help Wanted Sign
Magic Sword
[MENTION=221]Wicht[/MENTION] and [MENTION=62721]MortalPlague[/MENTION], you have 48 hours to post your entries to this thread. Please limit your entry to 2000 words. Please include a list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted. Neither the list of ingredients at the beginning of your entry, nor the title, will count against this limit, but everything else (including any definitions or descriptions of your ingredients that you may wish to include) will! Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own. You are on your honor to do so.
Your ingredients are:
Evil Wizard
Low Level Dungeon
Angry Ogre
Pile of Treasure
Help Wanted Sign
Magic Sword
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