5E Forgotten Realms is being BETRAYED by Wizards
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  1. #1
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    Spellbinder (Lvl 16)

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    Forgotten Realms is being BETRAYED by Wizards

    It is well known that Wizards are failing D&D. No copies are being sold of any book, and the reason is precisely because they are not correctly addressing the concerns of true fans about the canon of the Forgotten Realms. This is very obvious. For example, Wizards - headed by the Actual Human Monstrosity Chris Perkins - has failed to make use of the vitally important character of Wulve Raaikyn, whose simply wonderful character and plot importance is quite clearly spelled out by the 1st edition supplement Waterdeep and the North. Do we see Wulve Raaikyn [1] appear in any of these so-called 'supplements' for the so-called 'fifth edition'? I THINK NOT.



    Let us not mention Wulve Raaikyn any more, since clearly Actual Human Monstrosity Chris Perkins is not going to. Instead, let us talk about the way that they have simply defecated upon the holy memory of Lord Greenwood. In the original map for the setting, there is QUITE CLEARLY a gap between The Ice Peak and the Sea of Moving Ice. In this complete travesty of an edition, do we see this gap, or this label? YOU TELL ME. This is, to be restrained and moderate in my words, A TOTAL DISGRACE. Who can even believe that someone would be impressed by this edition, when it is taking such a contemptible view of the canon of the setting?

    Beyond these facts, it is also clear that Wizards do not truly understand the worth of this world. Instead of making correct use of such priceless fantastical creations as Wulve Raaikyn, they - led by Actual Human Monstrosity Chris Perkins - insist on mixing it with the inferior products of other settings. Thus we get exhibits such as the Temple of Elemental Evil, which is so clearly not suited to the Forgotten Realms, that I will not sully myself by explaining why. Nor shall I answer any such questions, for that, too, is beneath me. Instead, they should have updated the desperately important module FRE3 Waterdeep, which is so good that only a company determined to UTTERLY DESTROY this game would not have done so already.

    You may trust that I am correct in these opinions, for I am a deeply intelligent person, who has never once been wrong, nor admitted wrongness, and nor have I gazed upon the face of Wrong, the three-headed God of Wrongness. And all who seek to Laugh, know that I am well-versed in the precise manner and means in which this button should be used, so you may expect my full wrath to fall upon you, should thee use it wrong. So there.



    [1] I'm already regretting picking this name, since it actually takes a lot of concentration to spell. How did Greenwood come up with these things, anyway?!

  2. #2
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    Magsman (Lvl 14)



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    I wasn't disappointed by the hyperbolic thread title.

  3. #3
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    Spellbinder (Lvl 16)



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    I assume this is written in jest.

    Sad thing is, I have met way too many RPG'ers who would write something like this in seriousness.

  4. #4
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    Superhero (Lvl 15)



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    I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning

  5. #5
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    A "Drizzit" Type-Thing (Lvl 28)



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    Not disappointed.

    And well played!

  6. #6
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    Myrmidon (Lvl 10)



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    Hey, hey--you can't tease us with a hate-read like that and then not deliver.




    ...but well done.

  7. #7
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    Waghalter (Lvl 7)



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    Great read, Sir! Thank you for the brevity this morning.

    Sent from my SM-T350 using EN World mobile app

  8. #8
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    Superhero (Lvl 15)



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    Down with Fr DS forever!

  9. #9
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    The Grand Druid (Lvl 20)



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    Hiya!

    I gave you XP in stead, so there. You're not my dad! You can't tell me what to do!

    ^_^

    Paul L. Ming
    Laugh R P Davis laughed with this post

  10. #10
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    A 1e title so awesome it's not in the book (Lvl 21)



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    Heh wish they went back to the 1st boxed set instead of the Spellplague.

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