Players 'distressed' by gang-rape role-playing game

Matthew Tyler-Jones said:

Even so, there are some interesting answers the GM gave, which I think deserved a clarifying question that we didn’t get, and some responses which I think were lies.

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Which are the lies, it's a pretty strong statement to make and then not call them out.

Cards on the table, I talked the to three players concerned, they played in a horror themed game I ran in the morning, I resolve need via DM with one of them to their tweet, and I met them in the evening.

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Interesting to me that they seem to have a preference for horror games, among all that was on offer.

I feel UKGE did the right thing, but I am not interested in joining the clamour to ostracise him from society (yet at least).

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I think the UKGE acted out of necessary in the current climate.

He said that a complaint was not made direct to UKGE by the players. That UKGE reacted inappropriately to a tweet. I know that at least one player did make a direct complaint to UKGE.

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Is this the lie you are accusing him of? All a question of timing really, did UKGE become aware and react to the tweet before an actual complaint went in, did they approach people, and then they said yeah I did have a problem. Did someone come later or at the actual time, did they complain to one person but it didn't get back to the same people that approached the GM. Far too many variables.

He was a volunteer and thus a representative of UKGE. It is their absolute responsibility to decide how to respond. And as a volunteer he has no rights to any sort of employment tribunal, though there may be a UKGE volunteer grievance procedure he can appeal to.

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If the UKGE have misinterpreted the facts by saying there were "descriptions of sexual violence" when none occurred then I think he should be getting an apology from them. The UKGE also said it "breached both the letter and spirit of the UK Games Expo" and later "All games must still comply with the policies and the spirit of UKGE." As far as I can see there is nothing on the UKGE site that would make even having rape as a topic for a game against their policies.

On the section on Keeping You Safe. This is what is not tolerated.

• Use of bad language, verbal abuse or swearing at other attendees, exhibitors, Venue Staff, UK Games Expo staff and volunteers.
• Any physical violence towards attendees, exhibitors, Venue Staff, UK Games Expo staff and volunteers, including pushing or shoving.
• Racial abuse, sexual harassment and intolerance due to gender, race, religion and sexual orientation.
• Causing damage to the convention buildings, exhibitor stands and property of any attendees.
• Disorderly behaviour due the influence of alcohol and drugs.

Nothing about the content about games, that don't break those rules.

Not only did he say he “forgot to mention the poo” (though I don't see how that would have made their players’ perception of the events any better), he also “forgot” to explain that it wasn’t a rape scene when they talk about it afterwards.

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Well supposedly he never considered it one and they never raised it as one. You would think if they were that bothered by it they would have raised it.

He then claims to have run the game “correctly” for a group of UKGE staffers later (but before he was challenged about the complaint). This sounds fishy to me, as though he realised how wrong he had been and was trying to cover his back.

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It's really unclear as to if the entire group were UKGE staffers or just one or two of them, I doubt he could have arranged a game at short notice.

The players, when I talked to them later, were complaining not just about the nature of the scene, but his poor GMing generally, including railroading them into the scene, and is more grasp of the system he was using.

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Well if poor grasp of system is bar to GM'ing I doubt you would find many GM's at all and certainly not for new games like he was running. You are tight on time at conventions so you expect a bit of railroading, but neither of these things really have any bearing on the real matter. Certainly they aren't a reason to ban someone.

Matthew Tyler-Jones said:

At the same time, I have no wish to blacken the name of the GM. I am willing to believe that this was an out-of-Character -up on his part, and so I do not use his name in any discussion. I feel UKGE did the right thing, but I am not interested in joining the clamour to ostracise him from society (yet at least).

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Thanks for your post.
Pretty much agree with the above sentiment about not besmirching his name and not ostracising him from society.

I mention only the horror game because some people had said “well if they didn’t want shock, they shouldn’t have signed up for a horror game”

I don’t know that any were lies, I just said I think some were. You have correctly identified which I am suspicious about. Timing is important here - he claimed to have first heard “about elevenish” and his game for UKGE team leaders was stopped about 11.30. I assume that’s in the evening (or the next day) as I know the players concerned were at my game at 11am, and had not played his. I subsequently spoke to the players before 11pm (8ish by my recollection) by which time they had already spoken to UKGE so, UKGE had not responded to the tweets only.

Could well be that he'd heard of the tweet by that point, and the UKGE wouldn't tell him if there had been a complaint or not (which is sometimes the case in matters like this), but no one had complained to him.

It's one of those things that's easy to get mixed up about and doesn't really have that much bearing on things.

Sadras said:

Thanks for your post.
Pretty much agree with the above sentiment about not besmirching his name and not ostracising him from society.

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Yeah. I find the story...or at least the version of the story which seems most corroborated and probable...pretty disgusting and kind of unbelievable that anybody could still be that ignorant/clueless.

But the correct response is not to destroy his life. It will be better for him if he has a chance to learn/atone/improve, and better for everybody else if he doesn't become a martyr for the mouth-breathers in the "men's rights" movement.

Bagpuss said:

You would think if they were that bothered by it they would have raised it.

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This is victim-blaming, a betrays a lack of understanding the serious-ness of the issues being raised. There's any number of reasons why they wouldn't have raised it in the moment. Two big ones off the top of my head:
(a): Sexualized violence is trauma, and has been pointed out many times, is unlike many of the other forms of trauma typically found in tabletop RPGs in that a significant portion of the player population has likely experienced it. "Shutting down", as it were, is an exceptionally common physiological response to trauma (Frank). Silence in the face of something that shocking and potentially re-traumatizing should not be unexpected.
(b): The GM in question likely did not present himself as somebody it was safe to present such criticism to. Yes, the overall gaming population has changed a lot, and for the better, but people like the KIA subredditors and mouthbreathers like Grimjim are not exactly rarities. Their particular brand of gaslighting often only serves to reinforce the trauma already experienced, which nobody should have to feel obligated to put themselves through in order to lodge a complaint. From what we've seen from his response and the corners he's gone to to defend himself, such fears would not appear to have been misplaced.

*Deleted by user*

lowkey13 said:

The sad fact is that most people have been socialized to not speak up in that instance in many uncomfortable instances ...

In other words, it is unfortunately common for people to shut down (or polite laughter, etc.) in all sorts of situations; it is rarely helpful in almost any situation for someone to say that the issue had to have been raised immediately.

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I agree. It is common to think before we speak, I don't know it is a sad fact, it probably is a contributing factor to PTSD, that's unhappy. Otherwise, thinking before one speaks is bad. And yes, it's almost absurd for someone to say the issue has to be raised immediately, that is relying on knee jerk reactions, worst of all. The GM is just digging themselves in deeper. Then again, if this is the same person that ran a kickstarter and never delivered, their honesty and character are suspect.

dragoner said:

Then again, if this is the same person that ran a kickstarter and never delivered, their honesty and character are suspect.

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You know, people are bitching about that a lot, but it's not connected with the behavior at UKGE at all. Plus, while the kickstarter is years late - it's actually still generating updates and content, which is doing better than others in the industry (Ken Whitman, I'm looking at you).

Frankly, I get tired of the raging complaints lodged by people about Kickstarters. There are people who actually engage in fraud (Ken) and there are others who are just really bad at project management. They aren't the same.

Elfcrusher said:

I've been mutated. It's how I got my superpowers.

Just sayin'.

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Bitten by an irradiated elf, I'm guessing.