D&D 5E Acquisitions, Inc.: First Impressions

Acquisitions Inc. has earned a special, beloved place in the actual play segment of the game industry. In 2009, long before Critical Role, Sirens of the Realms, or Dice, Camera, Action, Penny Arcade debuted D&D games presented as podcasts. They later transitioned to video and live-play in front of an audience at conventions, and have even had a comic book. Crowds for those live events have grown to larger and larger venues.


Over time, the DM became Chris Perkins, senior producer of Dungeons & Dragons for Wizards of the Coast., and more recently, Jeremy E. Crawford, senor game designer for Dungeons & Dragons. Along the way, Acquisitions Inc. spawned B and C teams showcasing other player groups, some of whom involved WotC staff members.

So perhaps the only surprise is that it's taken this long for Penny Arcade and Wizards of the Coast to team up and produce an Acquisitions Inc. book, though its 10 anniversary makes it perfect timing. Could anything else be such a no-brainer for content?

For those unfamiliar with Acquisitions Inc, the adventures meld classic D&D fantasy with dark office comedy. New players are often “interns,” and AI chapters are “franchises,” complete with promises that another franchise won't invade your territory. It opens with a note from “the leader,” AI founder, Omin Dran. Interspersed through the text are additional notes by well-known AI characters Omin, Jim Darkmagic, etc.

The book's layout is logical – Acquisitions Inc.'s history, in and out of game, custom character classes to fit into its corporate structure, variants from the traditional classes, new races, spells and factions, followed by an adventure. Players are warned not to read past page 78.

This is just the first impressions article. A deeper examination will follow once I have more time with the book. Until then, I'm quite pleased with the results even though I've only occasionally watched AI games (too much to do running D&D campaigns, creating my own RPG and life in general rather than lack of interest). The comedy/business approach to fantasy adventuring isn't new (Who else read Nodwick comics?), but it seems nicely put together here, with a rather fun internal logic.

The first thing that caught my attention, though, was the Deep Crow entry in the Table of Contents. Being a lover of the entire Corvus family, I flipped straight to the monster section of a book for the first time in my life. The entry did not disappoint. While technically labeled a form of avian insect, they look like a very large, monstrous version of crows. With a 9 challenge rating, they'll be capable adversaries for your players. The Ancient Deep Crow is even more dangerous, with a challenge rating of 12 and lair actions.

I was initially excited by the monster entry for the Clockwork Dragon, too, but that waned as I read the listing. I love, love, love the idea of a clockwork dragon (only slightly less than that of a crow that gets a legendary action). The description talks about how clockwork dragons are a “formidable guardian and defender.” You can then, perhaps, imagine my surprise when I see that its challenge rating is only a 1. Yes, it gets a rechargable breath weapon but really? A CR 1? I expected better (and will be tweaking it for my own campaigns).

After that, the next thing I noticed was the artwork. Part of it is, logically and obviously, in the same style as that of their animated openings, comic book, etc. Others, like the art of “Happy Franchise Staff” on page 12 has a style I'd call “Acquisitions Inc. adjacent.” It fits the flavor of the animated art while being its own style with more depth, more subtly, and more, well, “realistic” seems a poor choice for the situation, but it is. While all of the artwork is good, I like the AI-adjacent style artwork a lot.

The section, Playing with Class, could fit nicely with the character class options presented in Xanathar's Guide to Everything. Like that book, it contains random tables for each class that you can use as is or to make your options for topics like signature items for a barbarian or Terrible Secrets for a paladin.

Some are clearly humorous, like the monk stance “Incontinent Elder – standing straight, knees together (excellent for surviving those long queues)” or Legendary Catchphrases like “'Surrender' is my middle name but it was a family thing and I never use it.” Others are geared specifically for Acquisitions Inc. adventures, like Barbarian Style such as “a fur-lined, double-breasted suit with a corporate logo on the pocket” or Cool Mottos for a warlock like “I'm the prophet of profit and I've got a prediction for success.” Others would fit in perfectly in any type of campaign, like a fighter's signature equipment that is “a bow carved with images of the phases of the moon” or a druid's Creatures to Care For that includes “a colony of bees whose hive once hung from a tree in your homeland.”

Similarly, the character quotes scattered through the book range from the accurate (“What a customer wants is not always what a customer needs... or gets.”) to the line between funny and disturbing (“Hirelings are kindling in the fire of opportunity.”).

The book also guides you through creating your own Acquisitions Inc. franchise for your players, complete with random tables for when you might have to do it quickly. Probably the part that might interest AI watchers the most is the NPC section that stats out well-known characters like Omin Dran, Jim Darkmagic, Rosie Beestinger and Brahma Lutier. I'm a bit surprised that they cap out at fifth level but the included adventure is for levels 1-5 so there is an internal logic to it.

Overall, I think AI fans will be happy with the Acquisitions Inc. book. I can't wait to dive deeper into it for my follow-up review.

This article was contributed by Beth Rimmels (brimmels) as part of EN World's Columnist (ENWC) program. If you enjoy the daily news and articles from EN World, please consider contributing to our Patreon!
 

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Beth Rimmels

Beth Rimmels

Parmandur

Book-Friend
Actually yes there is.

Insofar as there is a set Canon, it is managed by the DM Prime of... Acquisitions, Inc. Who has gone on record that table-Canoj is the only important Canon. Don't like AI? Groovy, it isn't part of your personal table-Canon. I remix the 5E lore, as spice, into the 3E timeframe as presented in the FRCS: I can ignore the Spellplague and Sundering to my heart's content, because my Realms-canon has priority.
 

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Parmandur

Book-Friend
It's not the comedy that is the issue, it's that in an FR context it makes no sense, corporations Ade legal entities that real heavily on national and international law, none of which exists in FR. Yes FR is big, but it's not a matter of size, it's a matter of context.

If we apply that standard, the whole enterprise of the Forgotten Realms is on shaky foundations.
 

darjr

I crit!
I loved the bit of Adventure I've played in. And I'm putting Keg Robots in as many places as I think I can get away with.
 

EthanSental

Legend
Supporter
I know we’ll be waiting for reviews to be posted eventually but it’s got the new hot release buzz for the week as it’s at 107 in the Amazon top sales chart for books,
 

Elon Tusk

Explorer
For me, it's been the most readable D&D book yet. I'm planning on adding some this to my existing campaign tonight and then maybe use the included adventure at another point when we start a new 1st level campaign.
 


Mournblade94

Adventurer
I'm fine with camp, AI goes a dozen shades beyond camp or humour like Misc, into actively damaging the emersive quality of the setting. It's not really the humour that bothers me, it's that the forms it takes make no sense in FR. How are their modern style corporations in FR, where is the legal code and international law such organizations require to function.

And I'm not gate keeping, disliking the quality of the content is not gate keeping, I'm not forbidding AI to play in FR, I just wish they put more effort into does this Quality X make any kind if sense in FR, not just is it funny.

I'd rather they'd done this with one if the other streaming groups, who might have funny stuff, but in a way that respects the setting and makes sense.

Heck I'm even fine with the Verdan, aka the Gobliniod Millenials, it's mostly the goofy corporate references and similar stuff that bugs the crap out of me, not the Verdan, not the use of humour (within reason), its all the stuff that makes no sense in FR. Now maybe the book will explain how a modern idea of a corporation works in FR.

It is exactly what you said above. It makes no sense. It is anachronistic in that it does not in any way fit in with the society established in FR.

I have no problem with this as a standalone. But Perkins recently tweeted that this is now a canon direction for the realms. That we will see AI characters possibly appear in Novels.

Aurora's Whole Realms catalog wasn't suddenly referenced as the primary mode of transport. It didn't appear in any of the novels I read (It might have in some I didn't) and I've read alot.

This is Anachronistic, not in a time sense, but in a theme sense.
 

Parmandur

Book-Friend
It is exactly what you said above. It makes no sense. It is anachronistic in that it does not in any way fit in with the society established in FR.

I have no problem with this as a standalone. But Perkins recently tweeted that this is now a canon direction for the realms. That we will see AI characters possibly appear in Novels.

Aurora's Whole Realms catalog wasn't suddenly referenced as the primary mode of transport. It didn't appear in any of the novels I read (It might have in some I didn't) and I've read alot.

This is Anachronistic, not in a time sense, but in a theme sense.

AI characters have already appeared, in novels written by Ed Greenwood. This has been canonical FR for a long time now.
 

Mournblade94

Adventurer
AI characters have already appeared, in novels written by Ed Greenwood. This has been canonical FR for a long time now.

Ok. I just looked up the book and I did indeed read it. I remember the name I just had no idea the character was AI. Hopefully they stay as unidentifiable as that. In anycase, I mentioned to my players while running the last part of Out of the Abyss I'd probably change the timeline back to around 1375 DR. This pretty much solidifies that decision. The realms has moved to be something else from the lore heavy days. Its a marketing experiment now I guess. The lore books have been pretty weak since SCAG, so I might as well just switch it back.
 

Parmandur

Book-Friend
Ok. I just looked up the book and I did indeed read it. I remember the name I just had no idea the character was AI. Hopefully they stay as unidentifiable as that. In anycase, I mentioned to my players while running the last part of Out of the Abyss I'd probably change the timeline back to around 1375 DR. This pretty much solidifies that decision. The realms has moved to be something else from the lore heavy days. Its a marketing experiment now I guess. The lore books have been pretty weak since SCAG, so I might as well just switch it back.

Sure, whatever floats your boat.
 

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