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And thats fine.
But a good leader can inspire because they are charismatic. They don't have to be someone that the other person has a personal connection to.
It is like a well orchestrated musical piece performed by a great musician. You cannot HELP but have the notes and music move you. Much as a passionate orator can inflame the crowd. It doesn't require a person to consent, it just happens. This is what makes such people quite powerful...and quite dangerous.
So when a person is fighting, and feels as if they can't go on...and the man who knows how to move worlds with the right words comes in and says 'Get up'...your body responds. Regardless of choice.
Again, this happens in real life too...and doesn't need personal connection, it doesn't require consent. It is just how our emotions and brains are wired...some people can pull on those strings.
As to the deeper point of 'I just wont listen when someone tells me to strike cause I don't let others tell me what to do!'...okay. If you'd like to play that way, that is your right. But that is reason #1 that one of my character creation requirements at my table is 'You can have any kind of character concept you like within the bounds of the world/system, but you will be part of a team. You arent 4-5 lone wolves. You rise and fall together, and your characters need to accept that and have to reflect that in their concept.' Some people don't enjoy playing that way, and that is fine. There are other tables who can cater to their lone wolf needs.
All of the above is true....AND that's what some people refer to as "loss of player agency". Just because the Warlord abilities are benign (get HP, make a bonus attack, etc.) philosophically they are equivalent to, say, rolling Persuasion to force a fellow PC to go along with your plan.
Now, some people are totally fine with that. Some of us are not.