I only run D&D when I need to establish a player base

GMMichael · Jul 12, 2019

I found the titular assertion intriguing. The D&D part is obvious - there are 40 million D&D players out there (is what I read, anyway).

What's this establishing-a-player-base? Do you, as GM, curate a game group? Do you, as a player, play D&D just long enough to find other players who match or complement your playing style?

Have you been told that you're not welcome in a group? Or worse, have you been told that a group was disbanding, just to find them playing another session without you?

A lot of questions, I know. Just be honest - this is for posterity.

Morrus · Jul 12, 2019

Where did you hear/see that assertion, out of curiosity?

Fenris-77 · Jul 12, 2019

As a GM, I don't see any problem with using D&D as a gateway drug to help churn player base and curate a good group. I legitimately enjoy both running and playing D&D, but even then, with a new group you often have to roll through some poor fits before you get a solid group together.

Celebrim · Jul 12, 2019

I think I understand the phrase. I've moved around a bunch, and finding a new group can be difficult. Running D&D either for experienced players or new players is a lot easier of a proposition to sell than running some game they've never heard of with a less consensus aesthetic. And thinking about it, I'd probably be much happier going to play D&D with a strange group than I would most other systems because you really never know what you are going to get with a group, and D&D is at least some sort of baseline. For example, I'd probably decline an invitation to play a homebrew system with strangers, and there are ton of systems that I might at least try with a group I knew well that I'd never consider with strangers.

Ralif Redhammer · Jul 12, 2019

I generally prefer to run D&D, but our group will occasionally try out different systems. With varying results – the last time I let someone else run a not-D&D game, the gaming group mostly dissolved and I had to recruit new players by the time we went back to D&D. Though I think it more a judgment on the particular game than it not being D&D. After that experience, I’m feeling pretty leery of allowing anything more than a one- or two- session game of other games.

My opinion is that if people get together to play D&D, then that’s what they want to play. If they express an interest in trying something else, that’s great, but if not, then playing something else will likely just drive people away.

As for the questions below, I’ve honestly been on both sides of it. I’ve quietly “not invited” players back, and I’ve also had people go off and start their own groups without me. I will point out that those splinter gaming groups have since folded while mine is stronger than it has been in years – keeping a gaming group going is no easy task.

I’ve never been outright told I wasn’t welcome in a gaming group, but I have had to tell a friend that they weren’t welcome in mine. That sucked, but it was absolutely the right decision.

DMMike said:
Have you been told that you're not welcome in a group? Or worse, have you been told that a group was disbanding, just to find them playing another session without you?

Xaelvaen · Jul 12, 2019

Ralif Redhammer said:
I’ve never been outright told I wasn’t welcome in a gaming group, but I have had to tell a friend that they weren’t welcome in mine. That sucked, but it was absolutely the right decision.

Ouch, painful indeed. Had to do that to my closest Cousin. He wasn't disruptive or a bad player or anything, but he and his friends played with a different type of content, that was kind of reflected in his mannerisms when he played. I'm fine with people having whatever they want in their games, provided everyone is on board with it, but my group wasn't - so I had to politely ask him to either fit in with the way we played, or not play with us - he chose the latter. We didn't talk again, despite many efforts, until his mother died. We've sort of spoken more since then, but never about gaming. Such a simple thing of respect can drive a pretty big wedge at times.

As for D&D, these days I only play in two ways; with my 20 year group at home, which is normally a very homebrewed Talislanta-inspired game, or running games at the FLGS - which is always D&D5E (it's pretty much all that's requested). My player base is well-established at home, and at the FLGS, I welcome anyone who sits at the table and respects the store's rules, regardless of experience or their rough around the edges traits. I believe anyone, in the right environment without preconceived notions, can become good player base.

payn · Jul 12, 2019

I am a firm believer that not all playstyles are compatible. Sure, every group is going to compromise to some degree, but this isnt work or government, it's leisure and it should be time well spent. My time discussing this in person and online has lead me to understand not to be a badwrongfunner and more of a not-my-styler.

My #1 rule is to never ever join a long term campaign with a group of folks I dont know. It has rarely worked out in my experience and life is too short for bad gaming. I recommend working your way up from one shots and organized scenarios.

I actually find organized play to be a great way to meet fellow gamers. Its also a low commitment. I will usually pay attention to how the others carry themselves and start making a list of compatible and incompatible. Eventually, I will see about peeling a few folks off for a more intimate home game. I havent had to do this in 5-10 years so its pretty effective.

My group rotates Pathfinder, Call of Cthulhu, and Traveller. We will occasionally toss in a new system now and then to try it out. Though Id say 50% of the time we devote to PF.

I have never been 86'd from a table. I have gotten the feeling I don't fit and politely bowed out on my own accord. Many folks are terrible when it comes to manners and communication skills, which is why dropping a guy and reforming without them occurs.

I think the key is to be honest and open with your communication. If one player is a problem, see if you can work it out, if you are the sole problem, better compromise or might be time to mosey. The key is to ask yourself if you are having fun. If the answer is no its time to adjust or bust.

Ralif Redhammer · Jul 12, 2019

Wow, I can’t imagine having to apply the proverbial boot to a family member. That had to be absolutely rough. I game with my twin brother, and thankfully we’re pretty like-minded.

The friend I kicked out was a bad gamer – always more than an hour late, poor hygiene, frequently purposefully disruptive to the adventure. He got a pass on all that for the sake of friendship (though in hindsight, he shouldn’t have) until he started spewing some horrid misogynist stuff after gaming had ended.

Xaelvaen said:
Ouch, painful indeed. Had to do that to my closest Cousin. He wasn't disruptive or a bad player or anything, but he and his friends played with a different type of content, that was kind of reflected in his mannerisms when he played.

Xaelvaen · Jul 12, 2019

Ralif Redhammer said:
Wow, I can’t imagine having to apply the proverbial boot to a family member. That had to be absolutely rough. I game with my twin brother, and thankfully we’re pretty like-minded.

The friend I kicked out was a bad gamer – always more than an hour late, poor hygiene, frequently purposefully disruptive to the adventure. He got a pass on all that for the sake of friendship (though in hindsight, he shouldn’t have) until he started spewing some horrid misogynist stuff after gaming had ended.

First, playing with a like-minded twin must be badass, at least it seems that way in my head haha. Crazy high jinks abundant!

Second, it's literally the only player I've ever had to put that ultimatum too - be less murder-hobo (amongst other things), or don't play. It's always hard to be the friend that cares enough to tell your friends what they're doing wrong. Cheers to all in this thread who've had to do the same.

ART! · Jul 12, 2019

In my extended network of gaming friends, we had trouble for a few years getting a reliable game going. I figured if I yelled "I'm gonna run D&D" loud enough I would get lots of players, and I would not turn any away, knowing how most players can't always make it to the game, some can only make it occasionally, and some drift away. Once in a blue moon we wind up with 8 or 9 players, but it's usually at a comfortable 4-6. We've been playing 5E weekly for 2+ years as a result, and honestly I'm afraid to tempt fate by trying something else.