D&D 5E Survivor Core Classes- Fighter Wins!

BoldItalic

First Post

• Jul 1, 2017

• #411

Cholmondeley made a snap decision. "We need to go up, if we are ever going to get back to the surface. Weapons out and beware the snufflesnort."

As they went carefully up the West stairway, a thought kept nagging at the back of Foghorn's mind. "When she said Taxes collected, what did she mean? We didn't pay any taxes, did we?"

Keyes held up a leather satchel. "I expect she was thinking of this. It's her collecting bag. Except I've collected it."

"Is there much in it?"

*Roll twice on the CR11-16 Treasure Hoard table*

"That much? It doesn't look big enough."

"It's a Bag of Holding."

"Ah."

Up ahead, Ronni was carefully checking for traps and whatnot, as you do, when she came across something strange ...

 

Last edited: Jul 1, 2017

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rgoodbb

Adventurer

• Jul 1, 2017

• #412

BoldItalic said:

beware the snufflesnort."

Click to expand...

My evening is complete

 

rgoodbb

Adventurer

• Jul 1, 2017

• #413

Up ahead, Ronni was carefully checking for traps and whatnot, as you do, when she came across something strange ...

"Click-clack" Ankheg creatures burrowing. Ronni realised too late that she had advanced to far: the ultimate failure as a scout. She had gotten herself cut-off. Surrounded, outmatched. She had however underestimated the power of friendship. Within a few seconds, Knife and Keyes were there, followed by Pur-Ging followed by the not so stealthy team of Foghorn, Jericho, Cholmondeley and Gucci +1. They had entered the eye of the maelstrom. their tunnel ahead was packed with Duergar, three abreast and many dozens deep.

Three bolts: thunk, thunk, thunk, took out the front row as if they weren’t there. A figure flashed past from behind the group at incredible speeds. It used the floor, the walls and the ceiling to zoom rapidly past the party. In its wake, its tail brushed passed Foghorn who sneezed instantly. A volley of five more bolts thwanged and flew towards their enemy who fled in sheer panic.

“Come back little mice” a rich voice resonated. The stranger did not press forward his attack. He turned, pulled down his hood to reveal a feline furry face. His eyes glowing red in the dark, a smile that showed off fantastic teeth, and whiskers forward in a provocative stance. He looked at the three rogues. “Ladies.”

At once all three felt molten. Knife whose heart had recently just started working again thought she might erupt from its beating.

“I am Pur-Ging. Who are you?” interjected the Monk

“I am Lethoko. King of the Tabaxi. And I am exterminating the rats that have infested my lands. I have become a deep stalker and a crossbow expert and all of my rolled stats are 18.”

“Umm. I bet they are.” Thought all the ladies in unison

“How did you get off as many bolts as that?”

“uhm crossbow expert”

“You do know it doesn’t work like that don’t you?

“Yeah. Makes it more fun though don’t you think”

“Wait a minute.” Exclaimed an incredibly jealous Foghorn. “You rolled six 18’s…….and you are knowingly using Crossbow Expert incorrectly……You……You’re a cheater!

……………………………………….Clouded leopard actually. (Lighting long-pipe)

 

Lanefan

Victoria Rules

• Jul 1, 2017

• #414

And once again Sister Jericho - utterly and completely unmoved by the Tabaxi's various charms - became the personification of wisdom. First, she realized right away that there was more to this Lethoko than met the eye, and even though he had helpfully driven the duergar back he himself had to be dealt with, and soon; because - as Jericho knew - there's only one type of creature that can cheat at the design level and get away with it.

And so she used Foghorn's bluster to cover up the sound of her casting Banishment, which - to the immense disappointment of the three sneaks - sent the demon cat back whence it had come.

"Now that's better", she said with satisfaction. "Where were we? Oh yes. Foghorn, I think that horrible taxation woman meant that she was taking our pub as tax, and our beer, and our wine, and our everything else we left up there...probably including the horses and mule you lot just brought back. And Keyes - your intentions were for the best, but stealing that collection bag means that she'll still be after us when we reach the surface, and with that many shapeshifters to scout for her it'll take her no time at all to find us."

Keyes didn't hear any of this last, as she was close to tears: "You m-mean, that lovely beautiful magn-nificent white h-horse - she t-took it? And they call ME a thief!"

A few moments later the good Sister's words registered with Cholmondley; and the resulting bellow of outrage at the loss of his prized Harrington provoked saving throws for everyone in the cramped hall as all except Ronni, Jericho, Gucci (somehow!) and Cholmondley himself were rendered completely deaf (save ends).........

 

BoldItalic

First Post

• Jul 2, 2017

• #415

"Are you sure you want to do that?" asked Zeus, "Cholmondeley would have known that Shouting Very Loudly In A Dungeon is bad luck."

"It's what my character would do," said Aphrodite defensively.

Zeus sighed and reached for Wandering Monsters Table IV.

The assembled company were not in the least surprised when #47, a brown bear and 3 were-crocodiles, appeared in their midst. The bear was snuffling and snorting (though only some people heard it) and the crocodiles were very annoyed at being taken from their river in Africa, where they were waiting for the wildebeest harvest to arrive, and plunged into an underground tunnel full of not-wildebeests. They immediately started making for the exit.

"Nobody move," whispered Guggi, "ze bear, 'e will ounly ze moving targetz chase."

Of course, Foghorn didn't hear Gucci's advice and he flourished Mr Choppy Chop, injuring the bear considerably. The bear understandably resented this and instinctively reared up on its hind legs, thus banging its head on the low roof and suffering 1d6 rising damage. Cholmondeley dispatched it with a swish of his sword and it fell dead at his feet. "If you think I'm going to glow for bears," complained the sword, "we have some talking to do."

"Quick, follow the crocodiles!" shouted Ronni "They might know the way to Africa!"

Four days later ...

 

rgoodbb

Adventurer

• Jul 2, 2017

• #416

Four days later...

If you don’t know the geography, it goes Underground, Overground, Wimbledon, Fraggle Rock, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Holland, Venezuela, Beirut, Switzerland, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.......... Africa.

“So while we are in Egypt it might be prudent to meet this Geeza. There are many high priests here as well.”

Little did they know at the start, that the crocodiles were actually the Wildshaped druids.

Little did the Wildshaped druids know that their Wildshape had worn off days ago and the party had pretended not to notice.

Little did the party know that the Wildshaped druids knew that the party knew that Wildshaped druids were actually crocodiles……..no………wait……I went wrong somewhere……uhm…….let us start from the top.

Little………..

 

BoldItalic

First Post

• Jul 2, 2017

• #417

Little did the druids know, and even littler did the party know, that one of the crocodilians was none other than Sbk, the crocodile-headed god of ancient Egypt. He was tagging along to see how things went, before deciding which edition to play. Also, several of the lady druids didn't know it yet, but they were now expecting his eggs.

One of the less-well understood aspects of Sbk was that he radiated an Aura of Protection from Neutral which is quite unusual if you think about it, but it explains why the druidodiles hadn't attacked the party days ago. He was also an expert at rejoining severed heads and limbs, but that hasn't been relevant so far. In fact, apart from a penchant for eating people, he was quite a useful guy to have around.

"Guys," said Sbk, manifesting his true form and grinning broadly to show his ferocious teeth, "I'd like to invite you all to my temple in Faiyum¹. Votive offerings are acceptable."

On the way to the temple, in the town of Crocodilopolis², Sbk pointed out the pyramid of Amenemhat III. "One of my pharoahs," he said proudly. "Very big on security. You wouldn't believe some of the traps we put in there. Forget your spiked pits and swinging beams, these are killer difficulty. DC 30 at least."

"Is there an entrance to the pyramid?" asked Ronni innocently.

Sbk looked her straight in the eye. "Entrance, yes. But we didn't bother providing an exit."

¹ No, not Faerûn, that's an entirely different place. Yes, I know it's confusing.
² I kid you not. Google it, if you don't believe me.

 

Last edited: Jul 2, 2017

R

Redthistle

Explorer

Supporter

• Jul 2, 2017

• #418

BoldItalic said:

¹ No, not Faerûn, that's an entirely different place. Yes, I know it's confusing.
² I kid you not. Google it, if you don't believe me.

Click to expand...

No fair! I have vulnerability to Egyptology! Its distractions leave me charmed at the least, and sometimes stunned!

 

BoldItalic

First Post

• Jul 2, 2017

• #419

Redthistle said:

No fair! I have vulnerability to Egyptology! Its distractions leave me charmed at the least, and sometimes stunned!

Click to expand...

I can get you a Scarab of Protection from History if it helps? One careful owner, choice of colours, comes with full instructions in Hieroglyphics, Hieratic and Demotic? A snip at only 99gp and a goat! Order yours now!

 

BoldItalic

First Post

• Jul 2, 2017

• #420

At the temple, Sbk showed them round the pools where the sacred crocodiles were kept, and invited them to watch as his high priests conducted feeding ceremonies. The druids were careful not to be taken for crocodiles themselves, for fear that they would be force-fed meat, so they shape-shifted into ibises instead and flapped around, rather inexpertly, trying to look un-involved. The real ibises hooted with laughter and mocked them mercilessly; colonies of birds always establish a pecking order, and the druids' positions were somewhere below absolute zero in this flock.

Sbk indicated that he would graciously accept offerings from the party and, after a huddled conversation, they formed a cunning plan. Foghorn had been watching the druids very carefully and knew exactly which ibises they were, although it was actually quite easy - they were the ones being pecked by all the others. At a signal from Cholmondeley, the heroes made a group Stealth check while the ibis-druids, who were being ibis-pecked, were at -5 on their passive perceptions. As a result, the ibis-druids were Surprised when they were Grappled, Stunned and thrown towards the crocodile pools, all in the space of six seconds; this wasn't difficult because ibises are small. The stunned ibises unshifted in mid air and splashed into the sacred pools as druids, whereupon they attracted the attentions of the sacred crocodiles who ate them.

Sbk wasn't entirely convinced that this was a legitimate tactic and he thought the druids ought to have put up a better fight, but with his limited understanding of 5e rules he couldn't really argue and awarded everyone Inspiration. However, there was a Nile barge moored nearby and he pointedly suggested that the party get on it right now, which they did.

On the way down the Nile towards the delta, as they were passing Memphis ...

 

Last edited: Jul 2, 2017