On the second point, I've had a couple of recent conversations on these boards which have driven it home. I am coming to feel that, in D&D play, perhaps nothing is more fundamental than the answer to the question: who chooses the encounters, players or GM? Because classic D&D answers "the players" - by choosing which rooms to enter/raid; and by choosing when not to run from wandering monsters - it's approach to balancing is naturally quite different from what is typical in the modern game.
But I get a bit frustrated by people who are playing games in which the GM chooses the encounters, and yet make a big deal about the importance of "smart" or "cautious" players realising that some of them need to be avoided rather than confronted. This might be good or bad D&D (to me, without more context, it often seems rather railroad-y), but comparing it to player-driven dungeon exploration is (in my view) just wrong. The best I can make of it is that the GM is framing the players into a puzzle, where the consequence of the wrong choice (fighting when the GM intended the PCs to flee) is character death.
This is interesting.
I think you've got a really good point here... but I'm also curious to see what the detailed implications are. For one thing, do you think that a game can be suitably player-driven even if it's about more than just dungeon exploration? I think so. Fundamentally, I don't think I pick encounters for the players in the games I run these days. Whether they are exploring a ruin, hunting bandits, working as agents for a young Bronze Dragon, planning a heist for a guild... whatever. It's all just stuff in the world. They can choose to interact with things, or not. They can choose to fight people, or not.
I'm sensitive to the possibility that I am actually choosing for them through omission and control of information, too. But I try hard to avoid that. I throw more adventuring opportunities at them than they can actually keep up with, so I genuinely won't know what they might choose.
I telegraph difficulty, in many cases well before the adventure is undertaken... e.g.
the reports are that the bandits are organized and numerous (at least two score), scar themselves with infernal runes, and many of them seem to use magic. They recently took out a caravan that was guarded by 40 men. That gives a clear indication that these will not be CR 1/4 Bandits with crossbows. If the party chooses to hunt these bandits, and does not treat them with deserved caution, they could get killed. It happens. It's not a puzzle, really, it's just... interacting with the world.
When there is a potential difficulty spike in an otherwise previously telegraphed situation, I'll telegraph that, too. e.g.
the druid cultists, plant blights, and mold men all spoke of "the Herald" in hushed, reverent tones. When a lone figure is spotted watching the party at a distance, their NPC were-rat friend first goes to investigate. They follow and see that their were-rat friend is writhing on the ground, near death. The figure cuts off part of the party with a deadly wall of thorns. She then speaks, casually, to the one PC that managed to get relatively close. She seems like she's going to leave, without fighting. I think that telegraphs that this figure is substantially more powerful than the threats fought so far. The were-rat has shrugged off many attacks that were frightening to other partymembers. So at that point, when the level 4 rogue charges in and tries to take the Herald out solo, I don't think a
reverse gravity into the night sky is an unfair "punishment." I don't even really think it was a puzzle. It was an encounter with a powerful, dangerous, evil, person who lives in the world and doesn't bear the party much specific ill will.
I do think fleeing should be an appropriate, allowed activity. I find, in editions where flight rules are not included, I will inevitably just adjudicate them generously. It hasn't been a huge difficulty so far... fleeing should generally be easier than pursuing, in most cases.
I think all of this is rather different than a carefully sculpted story that leads the party through a series of level appropriate, or level inappropriate (and the party is expected/scripted to flee), encounters.