You Know You Raised Your Kids Right When..

rgoodbb · Feb 28, 2019

Seeing as we have felines not kids - my kitten rolled her first natural 20 and then destroyed all the mini's in one go

lowkey13 · Feb 28, 2019

*Deleted by user*

Oofta · Feb 28, 2019

lowkey13 said:
On the other hand, you know something went very wrong when-

Me: Hey buddy, you going over to your friend's house this weekend to play D&D?

Son: Yeah dad! We're starting up a new campaign!

Me: That's great! So, you're looking forward to it? Going to be a good time?

Son: You bet! We have seven players ... and three of them are girls.

Me: That's so amazing. It's great to see that- a lot better than when I was growing up.

Son: Of course. I mean, [name redacted] is probably the best player we have. She knows everything about D&D!

Me: I'm so proud of you.

Son: Yeah, I can't wait to play this Paladin I rolled up. It's my favorite class.

Me: YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE! I should have seen this coming. I should have known that under this, all these past years, you've been building your hate for me piece by piece. I don't even know who you are because you have none of me in you. You're someone else's. This anger, this maliciousness, these backwards dealings with me to learn D&D.

You have none of me in you. You're just a paladin-lover from a basket.

Hmmm... I mean, I might have been a little over-the-top, but you have to nip this in the bud.

If you want to pass along some ... inspirational ... art for you son I'm more than happy to provide something. We can start him off slow, with a more traditional paladin (maybe that updated Paladin in Hell picture) before we get to the more hard core gnomish paladin.

After all, you don't just jump into the awesome splendor of Sir McStabsalot Knight of the Holy Order of the Owl. You have to build up a ~~resistance~~ appreciation of the greatness first.

lowkey13 · Feb 28, 2019

*Deleted by user*

André Soares · Feb 28, 2019

We should mail him some special d8 for him to use just with his divine smites

Oofta · Feb 28, 2019

lowkey13 said:
What? Is that some sort of "Gateway Paladin?"

Is there some shadowy figure in the alley, going, "Hey kids, wanna have an oath? First tenet is free, I swear!"

Hey now, my paladins are perfectly legit! No cut-rate goods here I swear! None of that multi-classing diluted holiness here. I hear my competition "enhances" with dips of sorcerer or even warlock.

Not me buddy, just 100% pure holy gnomish goodness. Don't you want your kid to experience pure holy goodness?

André Soares · Feb 28, 2019

Oofta said:
Not me buddy, just 100% pure holy gnomish goodness. Don't you want your kid to experience pure holy goodness?

In this day and age, I believe no one wants their kid to experience pure holy goodness

Oofta · Feb 28, 2019

André Soares said:
In this day and age, I believe no one wants their kid to experience pure holy goodness

No way man, it's time to like expand their minds, you know? Gnomish paladins are like gnarly, you know what I mean dude?

P.S. you wouldn't happen to have a spare holy text on you, would you? I'm a bit short right now but I promise I'll catch you up with some awesome smites tomorrow after my prayers.

TwoSix · Feb 28, 2019

Oofta said:
Hey now, my paladins are perfectly legit! No cut-rate goods here I swear! None of that multi-classing diluted holiness here. I hear my competition "enhances" with dips of sorcerer or even warlock.

Not me buddy, just 100% pure holy gnomish goodness. Don't you want your kid to experience pure holy goodness?

No way, man. I banned my kids from using Youtube once I realized people were splicing videos of paladins into Thomas the Tank Engine episodes. Some things you just can't let your kids see.

Oofta · Feb 28, 2019

TwoSix said:
No way, man. I banned my kids from using Youtube once I realized people were splicing videos of paladins into Thomas the Tank Engine episodes. Some things you just can't let your kids see.

True. The light of righteousness does shine bright.

You Know You Raised Your Kids Right When..

rgoodbb

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lowkey13

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Oofta

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lowkey13

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André Soares

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Oofta

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André Soares

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Oofta

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TwoSix

Dirty, realism-hating munchkin powergamer

Oofta

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