Rune
Once A Fool
Judgement for the 2018 IRON DM Championship Match: Gradine vs. MortalPlague
At last, the finale. Gradine’s “Ravenloft: Writ in Blood” vs. MortalPlague’s “The Culling of Carriage Court.”
Both are rich and creepy. Both also are laden with backstory. “Blood” is a bit more so than “Court,” though – to the point that, at times, it reads more like a short story than an adventure scenario for a roleplaying game.
This is unfortunate, because the setting that the entry provides is very interesting. But so much happens before the PCs arrive, it seems like there isn’t that much left for them to do. Now, there actually is a lot left for them to do, but it seems like it’s less than what’s going on in the backstory. I can’t help but think that there has to be a more efficient way to get that information across.
Enough of that, though. Let’s look at what the adventures do offer.
Adventures in Meat Pies, Volume 1
“Court” gives us a presumptive hook that is at best unsatisfying and at worst inadequate. It’s got good flavor (so to speak), but it feels blunt and leading. Worse, it requires information from an outside source to really turn it into a clue (since there’s plenty of non-nefarious ways jewelry can end up in someone’s food). But if (for some reason) the PCs don’t let an NPC bystander know of their discovery, they’ll never know it is a piece unique to Annabelle. Rough start.
After that, though, a delightfully macabre mystery that keeps getting deeper and more convoluted, until the PCs finally find themselves in a position where they must choose between allying with one or more amoral/outright evil forces to upend their precarious balance or somehow standing against all three.
That’s a richly rewarding conclusion.
Adventures in Meat Pies, Volume 2
“Blood” gives us a mystery, too, but it is structured in interconnected vignettes, or just laid out in backstory. Take the Pan-ya mystery, for instance. It’s an interesting piece of the adventure for the PCs to stumble onto and getting to the bottom of it will cue the PCs into the corruption of writing that is relevant in so much of the overall picture. But that’s the only connection. In a larger adventure, this would be a good set-up. In a short adventure, the lack of tight focus for the PCs is noticeable. And when that’s already a challenge the entry has to overcome because of the background-focused presentation, it further obfuscates what the actual adventure is.
As I said before, there’s a lot to do, but they all seem loosely connected and often are merely implied. Even the possibility for a mostly happy (and quite epic) ending is not supported with any actual instruction on how the PCs could bring it about. Basically, we’ve got a sand-boxy mini-campaign setting, which I favor as a DM.
But in this case, the background overshadows the PCs, at least in the reading.
Ingredients:
In both entries, it’s difficult to pin down any specific instance of Byzantine Schemes. I’m pretty sure that the squabbling retainers of “Blood” are meant to employ them. And maybe, I dunno...the Fey Beneath...do likewise in “Court.” But, really, almost everybody plays a part. Both pieces use the ingredient as an overarching theme for their respective adventures and I couldn’t be more pleased about that. That said, neither entry has the edge, here.
The obelisk in “Court” serves as the Elder Signpost serviceably. I can’t identify it at all in “Blood.” That’s one for “Court.”
I find the the Dread Ninja in “Court” confusing. It’s role as an assassin is clear enough and I suppose making it undead covers the dread part. But, aside from a throwing star and some tattoo-granted sneakiness, there’s nothing much ninja-like about Shugo. And why is it a revenant, anyway? At least in D&D, I would think that the baked-in revenant compulsion for revenge would be at odds with the completely obedient automaton that we are presented with. As a villain’s henchman, Shugo is great for the adventure. As a dread ninja, not so much.
Nagato, in “Blood,” fulfills the role far better. Also undead, he is additionally cursed by the Dark Powers. And, given the setting, his role as a hired assassin means he is a ninja by necessity. One for “Blood.”
Pie Wagon is problematic for both entries. In both cases, the pies are made of (demi?)humans, at least indirectly. I did really like the imagery of zombies turning themselves into the pies in “Court,” but, ultimately, neither entry needed pies. And wagons? completely irrelevant. No edge for either entry.
The Red Unicorn of “Court” doesn’t work very well, either. the unicorn pendant is entirely irrelevant and replaceable. The red from the juices makes more sense, except the entry goes out of its way to mention the zombie-meat has been cured. Which is odd, if you’re looking for juicy meat. Curing is a means of preservation that draws moisture out. This is true for smoked meat, salt-cured, and sugar-cured (which is still mostly salt). I do like the idea of sugar-cured zombie, but it shouldn’t be juicy unless injected with some sort of solution. Saline, perhaps...
I, uh, may have gotten off track, here. The point is, “Court” could have done better. “Blood” does much better. On the surface, the necessity that Qi’lin be a unicorn seems nonexistent, but it actually brings a lot of mythological overtones into the mix.
I’m not going to claim expertise on this subject, nor anything resembling a comprehensive comprehension, but a brief examination is warranted, here. The Red Unicorn in “Blood” upends traditional European medieval mythology about virgin maidens capturing the pure beasts so they can be killed and their parts used to cure (an allegory for the Incarnation, by the way). Also, the Chinese qilin (and Japanese kirin) play a role in dispensing divine justice to the wicked and protecting the pure. I’ll get back to all of these expectations later, as they tie in with in another ingredient.
So, does Qi’lin need to be red? Yes, because the Dark Powers of the adventure are incapable of corrupting writing that is done in blood. And it’s not like a unicorn can carve in stone or iron. This one clearly goes to “Blood.”
“Court” uses its Deadly Ink to give compulsory orders to the assassin. This is interesting and works.
It is more interesting in “Blood,” because it apparently has the dual-properties of being corrupted by the Dark Powers and corrupting the reader. Unfortunately, there isn’t quite enough detail to figure out whether there is an actual compulsion effect, or, really, anything else about how the corruption works. Also, it would be nice to have some examples of the kinds of things writing is likely to get corrupted to (other than meat pie recipes).
Neither entry’s use of this ingredient stands out as superior.
The Iron Law in “Blood” stretches the ingredient a bit. The incorruptible nature of words scribed in iron is (maaaybe) lawful in the sense that it can’t be changed. But the medium doesn’t necessarily have to be iron, does it? How about stone? Or clay?
“Court” also stretches things some by applying the “law” part to the long imprisonment, but the cold iron works so well with the Fey Beneath. “Court” has this one.
The Traitor in “Court,” though? I’m not even sure who it is. None of the villains is loyal to the others, but nothing they do is really traitorous, with the possible exception of Elsie’s maintaining control of Shugo.
In “Blood,” Nagato is the obvious traitor and his actions set everything else in motion. As such, the ingredient is prominent and strong. Qi’lin is less so, but it is interesting enough – and reinforces the themes of the piece so well – that I wanted to bring it up, anyway.
Remember the mythological themes I brought up in discussing the “Red Unicorn” ingredient? Qi’lin betrays all of that, becoming basically the inverse. A sacrificial beast of purity? Now demands sacrifice. Ensnared by virgin maidens? Now they are the sacrifice. Protector of purity? Now keeper only of its own corruption. Dispenser of divine justice to the wicked? Now dispenser of supernatural wickedness to the pure.
Nagato is the more important traitor to the adventure, but Qi’lin is far more the traitor, overall. Obviously, “Blood” has this one. That makes the ingredient count 3 to 2 in favor of “Blood.”
That’s close enough that “Court” overtakes it with its superior adventure structure and presentation.
[MENTION=57112]Gradine[/MENTION], what can I say? I am continually impressed with your work and there was a lot to be impressed by in this piece. Ultimately, I think you set up too ambitious a task for yourself (a story I know all too well from my days as a competitor). I think you could have made it work if you had chosen a more dynamic presentation (meaning less background-dependent).
I’m not saying you should shy away from the ambitious approach in the future. If anyone can pull it off, you can. I’m just saying you should reevaluate exactly how you want to convey the information when you do.
This year, though, [MENTION=62721]MortalPlague[/MENTION] put up a very good entry in the final round. Thus, by unanimous decision, MortalPlague becomes the IRON DM 2018!
At last, the finale. Gradine’s “Ravenloft: Writ in Blood” vs. MortalPlague’s “The Culling of Carriage Court.”
Both are rich and creepy. Both also are laden with backstory. “Blood” is a bit more so than “Court,” though – to the point that, at times, it reads more like a short story than an adventure scenario for a roleplaying game.
This is unfortunate, because the setting that the entry provides is very interesting. But so much happens before the PCs arrive, it seems like there isn’t that much left for them to do. Now, there actually is a lot left for them to do, but it seems like it’s less than what’s going on in the backstory. I can’t help but think that there has to be a more efficient way to get that information across.
Enough of that, though. Let’s look at what the adventures do offer.
Adventures in Meat Pies, Volume 1
“Court” gives us a presumptive hook that is at best unsatisfying and at worst inadequate. It’s got good flavor (so to speak), but it feels blunt and leading. Worse, it requires information from an outside source to really turn it into a clue (since there’s plenty of non-nefarious ways jewelry can end up in someone’s food). But if (for some reason) the PCs don’t let an NPC bystander know of their discovery, they’ll never know it is a piece unique to Annabelle. Rough start.
After that, though, a delightfully macabre mystery that keeps getting deeper and more convoluted, until the PCs finally find themselves in a position where they must choose between allying with one or more amoral/outright evil forces to upend their precarious balance or somehow standing against all three.
That’s a richly rewarding conclusion.
Adventures in Meat Pies, Volume 2
“Blood” gives us a mystery, too, but it is structured in interconnected vignettes, or just laid out in backstory. Take the Pan-ya mystery, for instance. It’s an interesting piece of the adventure for the PCs to stumble onto and getting to the bottom of it will cue the PCs into the corruption of writing that is relevant in so much of the overall picture. But that’s the only connection. In a larger adventure, this would be a good set-up. In a short adventure, the lack of tight focus for the PCs is noticeable. And when that’s already a challenge the entry has to overcome because of the background-focused presentation, it further obfuscates what the actual adventure is.
As I said before, there’s a lot to do, but they all seem loosely connected and often are merely implied. Even the possibility for a mostly happy (and quite epic) ending is not supported with any actual instruction on how the PCs could bring it about. Basically, we’ve got a sand-boxy mini-campaign setting, which I favor as a DM.
But in this case, the background overshadows the PCs, at least in the reading.
Ingredients:
In both entries, it’s difficult to pin down any specific instance of Byzantine Schemes. I’m pretty sure that the squabbling retainers of “Blood” are meant to employ them. And maybe, I dunno...the Fey Beneath...do likewise in “Court.” But, really, almost everybody plays a part. Both pieces use the ingredient as an overarching theme for their respective adventures and I couldn’t be more pleased about that. That said, neither entry has the edge, here.
The obelisk in “Court” serves as the Elder Signpost serviceably. I can’t identify it at all in “Blood.” That’s one for “Court.”
I find the the Dread Ninja in “Court” confusing. It’s role as an assassin is clear enough and I suppose making it undead covers the dread part. But, aside from a throwing star and some tattoo-granted sneakiness, there’s nothing much ninja-like about Shugo. And why is it a revenant, anyway? At least in D&D, I would think that the baked-in revenant compulsion for revenge would be at odds with the completely obedient automaton that we are presented with. As a villain’s henchman, Shugo is great for the adventure. As a dread ninja, not so much.
Nagato, in “Blood,” fulfills the role far better. Also undead, he is additionally cursed by the Dark Powers. And, given the setting, his role as a hired assassin means he is a ninja by necessity. One for “Blood.”
Pie Wagon is problematic for both entries. In both cases, the pies are made of (demi?)humans, at least indirectly. I did really like the imagery of zombies turning themselves into the pies in “Court,” but, ultimately, neither entry needed pies. And wagons? completely irrelevant. No edge for either entry.
The Red Unicorn of “Court” doesn’t work very well, either. the unicorn pendant is entirely irrelevant and replaceable. The red from the juices makes more sense, except the entry goes out of its way to mention the zombie-meat has been cured. Which is odd, if you’re looking for juicy meat. Curing is a means of preservation that draws moisture out. This is true for smoked meat, salt-cured, and sugar-cured (which is still mostly salt). I do like the idea of sugar-cured zombie, but it shouldn’t be juicy unless injected with some sort of solution. Saline, perhaps...
I, uh, may have gotten off track, here. The point is, “Court” could have done better. “Blood” does much better. On the surface, the necessity that Qi’lin be a unicorn seems nonexistent, but it actually brings a lot of mythological overtones into the mix.
I’m not going to claim expertise on this subject, nor anything resembling a comprehensive comprehension, but a brief examination is warranted, here. The Red Unicorn in “Blood” upends traditional European medieval mythology about virgin maidens capturing the pure beasts so they can be killed and their parts used to cure (an allegory for the Incarnation, by the way). Also, the Chinese qilin (and Japanese kirin) play a role in dispensing divine justice to the wicked and protecting the pure. I’ll get back to all of these expectations later, as they tie in with in another ingredient.
So, does Qi’lin need to be red? Yes, because the Dark Powers of the adventure are incapable of corrupting writing that is done in blood. And it’s not like a unicorn can carve in stone or iron. This one clearly goes to “Blood.”
“Court” uses its Deadly Ink to give compulsory orders to the assassin. This is interesting and works.
It is more interesting in “Blood,” because it apparently has the dual-properties of being corrupted by the Dark Powers and corrupting the reader. Unfortunately, there isn’t quite enough detail to figure out whether there is an actual compulsion effect, or, really, anything else about how the corruption works. Also, it would be nice to have some examples of the kinds of things writing is likely to get corrupted to (other than meat pie recipes).
Neither entry’s use of this ingredient stands out as superior.
The Iron Law in “Blood” stretches the ingredient a bit. The incorruptible nature of words scribed in iron is (maaaybe) lawful in the sense that it can’t be changed. But the medium doesn’t necessarily have to be iron, does it? How about stone? Or clay?
“Court” also stretches things some by applying the “law” part to the long imprisonment, but the cold iron works so well with the Fey Beneath. “Court” has this one.
The Traitor in “Court,” though? I’m not even sure who it is. None of the villains is loyal to the others, but nothing they do is really traitorous, with the possible exception of Elsie’s maintaining control of Shugo.
In “Blood,” Nagato is the obvious traitor and his actions set everything else in motion. As such, the ingredient is prominent and strong. Qi’lin is less so, but it is interesting enough – and reinforces the themes of the piece so well – that I wanted to bring it up, anyway.
Remember the mythological themes I brought up in discussing the “Red Unicorn” ingredient? Qi’lin betrays all of that, becoming basically the inverse. A sacrificial beast of purity? Now demands sacrifice. Ensnared by virgin maidens? Now they are the sacrifice. Protector of purity? Now keeper only of its own corruption. Dispenser of divine justice to the wicked? Now dispenser of supernatural wickedness to the pure.
Nagato is the more important traitor to the adventure, but Qi’lin is far more the traitor, overall. Obviously, “Blood” has this one. That makes the ingredient count 3 to 2 in favor of “Blood.”
That’s close enough that “Court” overtakes it with its superior adventure structure and presentation.
[MENTION=57112]Gradine[/MENTION], what can I say? I am continually impressed with your work and there was a lot to be impressed by in this piece. Ultimately, I think you set up too ambitious a task for yourself (a story I know all too well from my days as a competitor). I think you could have made it work if you had chosen a more dynamic presentation (meaning less background-dependent).
I’m not saying you should shy away from the ambitious approach in the future. If anyone can pull it off, you can. I’m just saying you should reevaluate exactly how you want to convey the information when you do.
This year, though, [MENTION=62721]MortalPlague[/MENTION] put up a very good entry in the final round. Thus, by unanimous decision, MortalPlague becomes the IRON DM 2018!
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