D&D General Worst phrasing for a wish?

Eltab

Lord of the Hidden Layer

• Jul 18, 2020

• #31

"I wish I could never run out of Wishes"
(thinks he will have a Scroll of Wish appear on his writing desk every day at dawn)

Your Wish is granted. >Poof<
You cannot get the words out; you never use the Wish.

 

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Eltab

Lord of the Hidden Layer

• Jul 18, 2020

• #32

And of course we have the Aladdin version:
"I never actually Wished to be out of the cave; I said I didn't believe you could do it."

 

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Fauchard1520

Adventurer

• Jul 22, 2020

• #33

CleverNickName said:

One of the best-worded wishes I've ever seen:
"I wish the DM wouldn't make me regret wishing for a magic sword."

Click to expand...

So wait... How'd that end up? Did the dude get a sword, or just an inner feeling of contentment?

 

CleverNickName

Limit Break Dancing

• Jul 22, 2020

• #34

Fauchard1520 said:

So wait... How'd that end up? Did the dude get a sword, or just an inner feeling of contentment?

Click to expand...

If I remember correctly, one of the character's non-magical swords turned out to be a magical +1 longsword all along.
Sure, it was boring...but no regrets.

 

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Seramus

Hero

• Jul 22, 2020

• #35

Mildly not safe for work.
Wishmaster Tribute

 

Last edited: Jul 22, 2020

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Fauchard1520

Adventurer

• Jul 23, 2020

• #36

Seramus said:

Mildly not safe for work.
Wishmaster Tribute

Click to expand...

Makes me wonder how long it would take for the player to catch on if you constructed a monster-of-the-week campaign from the plots of 90s horror movies. Anaconda for the monster hunt, Cube for the escape dungeon, The Faculty for intellect devourers... naughty word, I kind of want to do it now.

 

S

Seramus

Hero

• Jul 23, 2020

• #37

Fauchard1520 said:

Makes me wonder how long it would take for the player to catch on if you constructed a monster-of-the-week campaign from the plots of 90s horror movies. Anaconda for the monster hunt, Cube for the escape dungeon, The Faculty for intellect devourers... naughty word, I kind of want to do it now.

Click to expand...

That's a great idea. As long as you avoid Freddy you could probably get away with it for a while, then use him once the jig is up.

Doppelgangers for They Live.
Aboleth for It.
Tiny Flesh Golem for Child's Play.
Devils for Hellraiser.
Vampire for Fright Night.
Revenant for Friday the 13th.
Black Pudding for Creepshow.

Maybe combine an Intellect Devourer and a Gibbering Mouther for The Thing?

 

DammitVictor

Trust the Fungus

Supporter

• Jul 24, 2020

• #38

You guys are playing it all wrong. You don't want a wish that the Devil is going to enjoy twisting on you... you want a wish that's going to make the Devil wish he couldn't grant it.

"I wish for every free-willed sentient mortal being on this plane of existence to get a free wish, simultaneously."

 

andargor

Rule Lawyer Groupie

Supporter

• Jul 24, 2020

• #39

An old ad I always liked because of wish:

 

LuisCarlos17f

Legend

• Jul 24, 2020

• #40

"I want to be inmortal and life forever".

Then polymorphed into a jellyfish.

The jellyfish that never dies | BBC Earth

When the medusa (the drifting, balloon stage) of the immortal jellyfish Turritopsis dohrnii dies, it sinks to the ocean floor and begins to decay. Amazingly, its cells then reaggregate, not into a new medusa, but into polyps, and from these polyps emerge new jellyfish.

www.bbcearth.com