This has not been my experience. Some of my characters have had families that were far away, and were just background; others have had relatives who showed up in the campaign storyline, although not in the middle of expeditions. One character's daughter has been enlisted to help in a scenario: if you need a music expert with a security clearance, and happen to be related to one, why not use her, rather than search for another?
What makes a PC cool, on your approach?
These two posts prompted a few thoughts:
The bit that I've bolded I think can be true in systems beyond Burning Wheel!
This kind of reminds me of a situation where I had a PC who, surprisingly for this player, had a father whom he lived with and cherished. Situations in game occurred such that this PC had come into possession of certain documents and seals that belonged to a secretive cult of assassins (the party had killed a member assassin and they were in his possession). So, I set up a scene where the PC came home to his father to find a gaunt, well dressed gentleman was visiting and waiting for the PC to return home. The gentleman introduced himself as a barrister under the employ of an unnamed party and wished to discuss some business with the PC. The short of it was that the gentleman was a representing the assassin cult and was there to negotiate the return of the items for an appropriate price -- to be paid to the PC. The player was under the impression this was a threat against his father (and was a bit put out I would do that, to be honest), but I had that trope ready to subvert -- the barrister expressed shock at the idea that he was there to threaten the father. He merely had gone to the PC's domicile to meet with him. The living status of the PC's relatives was of no concern to his employers -- if negotiations failed then action would be taken against the PC directly to ensure recovery. I believe I used the line, "My employers are direct people, and don't have the patience for extortion or threats.." This switch -- that I wasn't threatening the father -- alongside a quite generous offer for the return of the documents (a townhouse was offered) set the player back and actually had him agree to the swap (he was usually a "damn the torpedoes" type). As far as my plans went at the time, I didn't have anything long term here, I just wanted to introduce a new player that could be interesting in the future, and establish they were ruthless and pragmatic. I recognized that the PC's backstory had an interesting opportunity to subvert the expected trope.
Personality quirks and the like; voice and-or accent; speech patterns; alignment-ethics-morals (or lack thereof); signature moves or gestures or phrases, etc. - and that's all before even thinking about how it'll interact with each other member of the party be it through attraction, friendship, rivalry, enmity, or whatever. My cheat is to think of someone distinctive I've known either in the media or in person, and use that as a starting point - for example I've one long-lasting character whose voice, accent and personality are based on a combination of Biggles and an old friend of my father's who I've known most of my life; while another is largely based on evil-goddess-era Callisto from Xena.
"Find adventure" (or, more often, "get rich") is where I usually start, as anything grander assumes the character will survive beyond its first adventure; and that ain't guaranteed at all. If the character does survive, larger goals often arise as play goes on even if it's something as simple as working toward building a stronghold or temple or lab, suitable for whatever class I am.
At first read, I thought you meant tier 3+ play, rather than a distanced view... And D&D is really NOT easy for many at levels 10+, simply because the additive mechanics of new powers every level.
