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  1. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) Hello - new player character advice

    Your DM is clearly not playing 5th edition, so it's entirely up to him what you can and can't do.
  2. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    *Hides under blankets*
  3. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    THAC0, having lost his magic carpet, re-equipped with a reed boat powered by flying fish. It was comfortably furnished with brocaded scatter cushions under a candy-striped awning and at the back were the tanks for all the fish.
  4. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    "Kelp!" cried Bogweed joyfully. "Kelp! Kelp!" and dived into the sea after Carp. In an instant she grew girls so she could breathe underwater and with a flick of her tail, she was gone. The fish fountains of Babylon became the eighth wonder of the world. Some cities these days have fountains...
  5. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    A chorus of frogs descended upon Egypt. Carp was quite enchanted and dived into the sea to frolic with the mermaid. You might say he was in his element. Yet so mesmerised was he that he forgot about the ship, his concentration fell below 1ppm and The Molly dissolved completely into the water it...
  6. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    THAC0 was feeling slightly anachronistic because he was Persian and the Persians weren't due to arrive in Mesopotamia for another few millenia at least. Nevertheless, every situation was a business opportunity for him. He wasn't descended from Rugg The Carpet Seller for nothing.1 Pronouncing...
  7. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    Ariadne's two interrogators, who were called PuNK and TuNK 1, ordered her to empty her handbag onto the table. You can tell how utterly evil they were, just by that. Among the items that fell out was Ariadne's trinket, a pair of lodestones shaped like minotaur horns, which were a present (from...
  8. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) This is a wiki (collaborative) thread

    Mind blowing! N.B. only the thread owner can get at the audit trail of edits, so you can moderate your own Wiki sensibly. This is a good feature.
  9. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    "I know where we are," said Ariadne unexpectedly. "You do? Where?" "Ur" "You don't sound very sure?" "No, that's what that city over there is called. We've slipped back in time again. This is Babylonia." Moss lit a ziggurat and inhaled slowly. "I have a bad feeling about this." "Well...
  10. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    "Hi, folks," said Ray swimming lazily around, "I'm here to reprimand, reprove, rebuke, chide, take to task, reproach, blame, censure, lecture, nag, admonish, upbraid, castigate, berate and lambaste." "What, all at once? Doesn't sound much like fun," remarked Moss. "You're a very naughty druid...
  11. barque-molly.jpg

    barque-molly.jpg

  12. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    As the Persian carpet glided silently over occupied France, Moss pointed out a large white arrow painted on the fields below and asked THAC0 if he knew what it was for. "It is so that aeroplanes can find the landing field in the dark. It points to Flug Paris NE," he replied, then turning to...
  13. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    Fortunately, although Grouper spoke proudly of his little tank, there was nothing particularly fishy about his presence in the café. Nevertheless, Moss disguised himself as a piano tuna by draping a string of onions around his neck, Bogweed was quickly dressed up as a rather short waitress and...
  14. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    We would like to apologize to readers of this thread for any inconvenience arising from the recent grounding of all thac0airlines magic carpets. The cause is believed to be a total failure of our Divination Services Branch to foresee that anything like this could possibly happen. We would like...
  15. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) Attunement & New or Converted Items

    As well as having the "rule of three" to limit the "Christmas tree" phenomenon, attunement takes time (a least a short rest) to arrange. This stops a PC grabbing a powerful item from an enemy and immediately using it against them, or against their other enemies, in the same combat. So one reason...
  16. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    "Ze Breetish hairmen must be 'idden een your cafe until ze chairmens 'ave gone. Zey must suspect nuzzing!" "And 'ow am I supposed to do this?" "We will orange for an inveezible trapdoor in ze roof. Ze codeword is 'thaceau'. " "Oh no, not again!" "Is there a problem, chaps?" asked Ariadne.
  17. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    Did it work? Can I stop now? "No," said Ariadne, "You must keep following this thread, or you will never escape the labyrinth." WTF? Is this another NPC from Greek mythology? "I am the daughter of King Minas of Tirith, not to be confused with that other one who ran off with Thedipseus on Page...
  18. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    Sir! Sir! Yes, Trainger? Why the agitation? Do you need to see Matron? It's the thread, Sir! It won't stop Sir! Nonsense, boy. Get a grip. Remember the school motto: DOCETE PISCARI ILLEM But Sir, ... "I don't usually do this had oc," grumbled Carp, "but maybe just this once." Cursus Removus!
  19. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    Have you been posting in that thread again, boy?
  20. BoldItalic

    D&D 5E (2014) So long and thanks for all the fish!

    I tried, I really tried, but I fumbled my Wisdom save. Maybe this thread is cursed and we are doomed to go on posting forever? If so, Remove Curse should fix it. A 9th-Level Paladin would know what to do. But we'd have to bring one in and that means more posts, explaining the sudden appearance...
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