Really? You've never had a character that, once put in play, failed for whatever [mechanical, personality, story, etc.] reason to live up to the idea or concept you had for it going in?
No. I put a great deal of care into the characters I build, and there are a lot of things I can find enjoyable. A character who is simply made of solidified failium is not going to be enjoyable, period.
That makes you either insanely lucky or - more likely - way more willing than you give yourself credit for to adapt when things don't work out in order to make them work.
I can adapt, yes. I cannot adapt around "your characters will be taken from you on the regular". It disrupts my ability to care about the game, because my place in it cannot ever
become anything. It is always being thrown around haphazardly with no rhyme or reason, just "the dice decided you die now, sorry!" I can't engage like that. I can't get my bearings. I can't
care about things I'm not able to invest into, and I can't invest into a character that I
know without doubt WILL be killed, and thus taken from me--and not only that, but they're probably going to be taken pretty soon, too.
Me, I'm not that stubborn - if a character's not working out for some reason, I'll gladly let it go and try another. I just don't take it that seriously.
I do. Pretending that nobody can take the game more seriously than you is foolish. You aren't a fool, so I don't really believe you think everyone treats the game exactly as unseriously as you do.
If you're playing solo with a DM then sure, go nuts on the individual-character story arcs. But - as I keep being told - when there's multiple players D&D is a group game, therefore doesn't it just make sense that the story of the group/party as a whole should take priority over, or even shunt aside, that of any one individual character?
For the same reason you are comfortable with one character being more important than another mechanically--but only
temporarily. That's still true, yes? You do still think "spotlight" balance is a good thing? Because if you do, then it's exactly the same concept applied to narrative. Sometimes, it really is the case that the whole group sets aside what they're doing to help Dodec O'Hedron save his little sister Tetra, because even if half of them don't like kids, they
do like Dodec, and they know how important family is to him. Sometimes, it really is the case that Dodec O'Hedron needs to get his family drama figured out because right now we're kind of saving the world and taking a quick family vacation merely on a weird dream he had is
not sufficient reason to break from that.
Or, as I've told you at least once before: The group story is woven from the individual stories. If the individual story is
always suppressed beneath the group story, then both stories disappear in a puff of logic, the would-be fabric having cut its own strings off the loom before it could be woven. Just as if the individual story is
always prioritized over the group story, then both stories disappear in a puff of logic because the threads are never woven together to begin with.
For the vast majority of D&D groups, that ongoing back-and-forth between favoring things that the whole group is seeking, and favoring things that just one particular person is seeking, matters a great deal. Consider for my Monday group: my Sorcerer is an aristocratic dragonborn whose family is among the more...open-minded clans of Tymanther. His wicked sister has committed outright, full-on blasphemy as far as his people are concerned, swearing her loyalty to Tiamat--and she sold him into drow slavery to boot. He's out for revenge, but the slow, quiet kind of revenge where you destroy a person utterly, so one of his personal goals throughout
Out of the Abyss has been to subvert his sister's own mercenaries against her. He has shown, tirelessly, that their lives truly matter to him--that he'll risk his own skin in order to protect them, and if one of them dies, he'll make sure they get resurrected.
Because one day, he wants to look them in the eye and say, "Would my sister fight for you as I have?" And have them realize that they've been
his mercenaries for months now, and only just figured that out.
That is a personal story, woven through the campaign. It's not a story that requires constant attention on it. In fact, I've kept it pretty limited and have not tried to call attention to it. But whenever one of them dies, I make sure they're revived. Whenever one of them gets separated, Kalthor goes after them personally. When they fight with us in battle, Kalthor respects their skills, trusts them to do their jobs, and rewards them as much as he's able. That's me telling my story within, around, and between the other stories going on. Without that story, I'd have no reason to really care except "world-ending threat". Without the world-ending threat, this personal story would have no engine to push it toward conclusion. It's only in the intersection of personal story AND group story AND caring about
others' personal stories that I find the real beauty I'm looking for.