Bad players claiming to reform...

[Quicken]

Too true. What's the point trying again? If you've tried many times before there's no point doing a "We're serious this time!" as you've set conditions that he's bound to fail to meet. Not because he's failing to change but because you are no longer willing to accept he will 'slip up' on occasion. Anyone would fail that condition sooner or later.

So in short: He's had his chance. Giving him a final tougher chance is just setting him up for failure. You'd do him and yourselves a favour by letting him go now. You're setting yourself up for an awful breakup/breakdown when you could part on relatively amicable terms now.

 

[Storyteller01]

He's ADHD and his meds don't do squat by the time he gets to the game.

Wish I saw this earlier...

It's possible, but this is going to make things much harder. He's not deliberately annoying (well, probably not)... he's following a psycological imparative. Some doctor's think this may be an evolutionary hold-over. Point Guard for moving villages had to be aware of everything. Then again, it's just a theory...

I've had to teach kids with ADD. Makes for an interesting experience.

If you still want him in the group, do some reading and be supportive. Try to get him involved in game maintanence (keep group notes, dice rolling, whatever). Just keep his mind busy. Otherwisw, you'll probably end up parting ways.

 

[BlueBlackRed]

Try to get him involved in game maintanence (keep group notes, dice rolling, whatever). Just keep his mind busy. Otherwisw, you'll probably end up parting ways.

Been there & done that. (Not just saying that either.)

Read some stuff about ADHD. My wife has to work with them as well as she's in a field that we sometimes be required to deal with children with problems (where ADHD is just one of many).

We got him to start taking his meds again.
It's been suggested he go on Atkin's (lower carbs calms an ADHD person).
We have an hour of time before the game starts so people can have a cool down time after their day. Afterwards he got a job that ruined that.
So we told him to eat prior to showing to the game, to allow him some calming down time, and to put some food in his belly (thus sleepier). This worked, but he is getting tired of us putting conditions on him being allowed to play.

Which I admit is quite unfair. But it's unfair to several in the game who have begun to see gameday as a bad thing.

I've tried to talk to the guy. Same results each time. I've just recently told him that he would probably be happier playing with teenagers (which he isn't...but he is).

But he wants one more try. So we'll let him have it. But no more.

I know it's time to cut him. But unfortunately, many of the group don't see it, so I have to contend with that as well.

Keep him and possibly lose some.
Cut him and possibly lose some others.

So he gets one last chance. That will keep all happy...for now.

Which is why I asked if anyone has seen it work before.

 

[DonTadow]

This a sister-thread to http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=139369 .

In that thread I mention that we're very close to booting a player.

Well since then he has claimed to reform himself and become less of a distraction and more respectful to the group.

Well although I'd like to believe him, I don't see it happening for more than a month. You just can't change your core personailty.

So my question is, in your experiences, have those that promised to reform done so long term? Or was is just wasted breath?

I have a saying, most people after the age of 25 don't change their ways. By the time you're full swing in your adulthood you're pretty much set in your ways. When I play tested my current campaign, I ran it with a guy whom was a DM of mine for two years. Though his campaign was fun, he often would spend at least 30 minutes of every session arguing with one of two other players in the campaign about one thing or another. Over half the time was spent as his NPC (the all powerful wizard of everything ) dominated the game.

I figured that that was just a DM style for his but when he got into my campaign, he was rude and obnoxious and consisentally wanted to argue, not talk, to me about rules and his character. He was upset that I didn't have the character's level every session and cursed at me after he realized I added class levels to several of the Big Bads. After session 2 I talked to him and he said that he was just upset and he'd change. Two sessions later his character was fighting a genie with class levels and he through and he yelled out quite loud . I ended the session after the battle and concluded that the session was enough of a playtest for me.

I

 

[JoeGKushner]

Wasted breath.