A Snowball’s Chants!
Anhedonia in the Land of Gods.
Rafael Lancaster had a problem. He was proud of his brother’s daughter: her independence, her willingness to use money to get what she wanted… Except when what she wanted was a plunging dress for a “Dames and Detectives” masquerade. Some New York tailor had made it, probably expecting it was for a sassy shorty and not an 11-½-year-old niece.
Rafe’s brother was equally stumped. They decided on a suitable lie: the dress was so good that all the other girls would be jealous! Anizah, not expecting deception, agreed to put on a coat.
The rest of the girls came in from the snow, and Rafe was able to make some time with his fellow adult companions (wuxia doctor Xiao Yun and antique smuggler Ivan Kochev),
and things were copacetic until charades. Pollina’s inability to communicate "radio program” resulted in her getting her hair pulled by Albertha, and soon the entire Honorable Association of Girl Socialites were at each other’s throats! Only Xiao’s martial expertise, and Rafe’s jaw-dropping supply of desserts, was enough to get the girls separated into different rooms. From there, Xiao detected a chi imbalance in everyone who had been playing outdoors.
Rafe promised to get to the bottom of the case, while Devika promised “to get to the bottom of this bowl of ice cream.”
Chemical and mystic analysis showed some oddities: the snow had been modified to transmit reversed anions linked to that of the Chintamani Stone! The famed Nepalese artifact was said to be able to remove desire by getting rid of emotions… If its properties were reversed, it could bring suppressed emotions to the fore. And the one person capable of weaponizing such an effect in the form of frozen precipitation was Dr. Jacqueline Frost (last seen being whisked through a portal to the Himalayas at the climax of
Storm of the Century)!
Rafe was able to reverse the effects of the snow by having the girls take a dip in the heated pool. (The joys of being a millionaire!) And then, not wanting to be around for the apologetic reunions,
the trio and HAGS chair Devika went to where their favorite Himalayan lived… The Bronx!
Steel Eagle, a.k.a. Gyatso Sereng, was drinking the night away at the Yankee Tavern.
He would love to help, of course, if the group could get his truck out of an O’Rourke gang lockup. With Kochev’s skill at intrusion, it was no problem, and Eag was soon telling the group about where the stone was last seen: Kathmandu. But Buddhism was for losers: Americans loved big emotions. Imagine how boring it would be at a Tibetian baseball game!
Rafe, a power player, decided to call on his company’s research department. They pulled an all nighter to get him all the information he needed to successfully mount an expedition to the roof of the world.
Of course, the permits needed to be approved, so soon the group was in the Indian capital of Delhi. As they got to the hotel, they were shocked as
people started giving them hand bills about a visiting German diplomat: one who looked exactly like Kochev!
Hans Pilger was arriving in two days to "promote Aryan solidarity,” and although Ivan disagreed, the two looked extremely similar. Rafe decided the group should use this to their advantage: why try and get an appointment with the powers that be, when they could usurp an existing one? The group lacked a true investigator, so the trio had to use chicanery, bribery, and a dinged rolodex to get a meeting between the two men and the travel minister VK Krishna Menon. Xiao spent this time checking out a local herb shop… and ran into Hans!
VK read “Hans” the riot act, talking about the recent failures of the Third Reich on the world stage
. Ivo did what he did best: told preposterous lies and made unfulfillable promises. Rafe spent a steady supply of rupees to keep minor functionaries out of the room.
Meanwhile, Xiao stalled the extremely pleasant diplomat with stories about herbology and mushroom gathering. Despite representing a fascist government, Hans seemed more interested in her than Ivo usually was.
With no actual bad behavior to cite, the travel minister gave the group permission to enter Nepal…
With a banditry prevention escort, of course.
Kochev proved his worth again; his fake documents passed muster at every checkpoint. Soon the group was traveling through the switchbacks and dangerous mountain passes, past gorgeous green valleys… with the Nazis surely close behind.
Kochev, despite urging from his companions, refused to shave his distinctive mustache or dye his hair.
Which was a problem when he was almost assassinated by a Nazi hunter! The shot missed by inches, and the honor guard was about to return fire when Xiao leapt up to his position. The shooter’s name was Nolan Bartiki, and having lost his family to the SS, he had been wandering around Asia to try and move on… until he had heard of a Nazi delegation!
Xiao explained the situation, and Nolan joined the party.
Unfortunately, overland travel was not in the group's skill set, so they were exhausted by the time they reached Kathmandu. (The only reason they hadn’t been caught yet was Rafe stopping to cause a rockslide behind them.)
The city was cheery and eager to welcome visitors, especially rich ones. Rafe, Ivo and Devi indulged in the wonders of the Palace/Hotel, while a determined Xiao headed to the monastery. There, the head monk immediately recognized her spiritual fortitude… and bade her to meditate with him in the presence of the Stone.
Unfortunately, the stone removed in her all desire: including the desire to leave or inform her friends of her situation.
She meditated on a familiar sutra, somehow known by the local master as it was by her old sifu:
Dark is the abyss without; bright is the abyss within.
The rest of the group eventually came after her, with Rafe getting sidelined as a bland Caucasian and his sidekick Devika being exalted. Ivo snuck through the silent temple, reaching the stone and reminding Xiao of her earthly duties.
He also made sure to question the head monk about his association with Dr. Jaqueline Frost. He admitted that she came through, and intended to spread the word of Hindu-Buddhist non-attachment by driving others to unrelenting emotion, so they would need wisdom to have any society at all. Having studied for ages at the temple, he had no desire to keep the Stone, or to give it to them.
Xiao took it.
***
Downstairs, the Nazi expedition had finally arrived. Brigadeführer Ernst Holk was surprised and delighted to see another white man in such an environment, and made great small talk with Rafe. Lancaster was able to slow the man down, sharing travel stories, but eventually the Nazi thugs demanded the monks give them the stone.
Xiao came down the stair staircase… and handed the Stone over!
The Kommandant was elated… but then neutral. Direct exposure to the Chintimani Stone suppressed his love of country. And without strong leadership, his soldiers seemed unwilling to take on the (potentially extremely dangerous) monastery.
Ivo, feeling underappreciated in the exchange, decided to pick a fight with his doppelgänger Hans! It was quite a scuffle before Xiao grabbed both of them and conked their identical faces together, ending hostilities.
Rafe, unwilling to take on a trained combat squad, decided to blackmail the expedition for the artifact. It would look very bad for Germany if, after a diplomatic failure, one of their prize scholars had abandoned the fatherland to study among a lesser culture! With the stone, he and his educated companions were able to create an antidote to Dr. Frost’s concoction. Calling in some connections in the Army Air Corps, he was soon helping seed clouds with the antidote as part of “Operation Santa’s Sleigh”. When he returned to his home, Phoenicia, it was almost time for a Christmas fundraiser.
And the girls wanted to have a snowball fight!
