This was the post where I articulated the original thing (requested by someone else, but Lanefan also responded).
This was
Lanefan's first reply to said post. He
replied again later to another post, much more concretely saying that no, it's perfectly fine for a GM to just shut down a thing you want to do and tell you "You have to trust me". That's where I see a great disconnect between "You
have to let me play the character I created or else you're telling me what to do" and "I, the GM, can just shut down stuff you want to do and say 'you don't know why, you just have to trust me' and the player must simply accept that or leave."
These two positions seem to be directly contradictory, and I don't know how to make them compatible.