D&D General DMing Hard Stop

[GwaihirAgain]

Have you ever had a moment at your table, where almost like a light switch, You decide, Im Ok with not DMing anymore.

Playing a long time campaign last night, adventurers on a B plot where they are trying to recover a necromantic crown from a tomb. Circumstances i.e traps, separate the mage from the party, he enters the tomb, loots the crown. Then helps to free the rest of the party from a couple traps and tells them he doesnt have the Crown. Much tense roleplaying and interpersonal chaos ensues. Finally the party snags the backpack from the mage, who has been acting suspiciously, and he misty steps away and says " I'm done with this party"

Player has been had a long time independent streak and there have been many real world frayed feelings over the years.

Anyway, I'm sure Ill pull it together in a while and keep DMing this campaign, but currently lacking any excitement or initiative.

G

 

[JAMUMU]

I used to think I could burn out on GMing, but that wasn't true. What was actually happening was I was burning out on the players I GMd for.

 

[overgeeked]

Have you ever had a moment at your table, where almost like a light switch, You decide, Im Ok with not DMing anymore.

Playing a long time campaign last night, adventurers on a B plot where they are trying to recover a necromantic crown from a tomb. Circumstances i.e traps, separate the mage from the party, he enters the tomb, loots the crown. Then helps to free the rest of the party from a couple traps and tells them he doesnt have the Crown. Much tense roleplaying and interpersonal chaos ensues. Finally the party snags the backpack from the mage, who has been acting suspiciously, and he misty steps away and says " I'm done with this party"

Player has been had a long time independent streak and there have been many real world frayed feelings over the years.

Anyway, I'm sure Ill pull it together in a while and keep DMing this campaign, but currently lacking any excitement or initiative.

G

Sounds like you need to have a chat with that player about their disruptive behavior.

 

[iserith]

I agree with JAMUMU - it's not the game that will burn you out in my experience, it's managing the people at the table. I would frankly never go back to DMing with my last in-person group prior to moving overseas. It's not that they were terrible people or that I was ever at risk of burning out from DMing for them at the time, but once you've gamed with top tier players, you really just don't want to go back. Being able to game easily online now means I never have to settle for players in my immediate vicinity, nor risk getting fed up DMing due to problematic group dynamics.

 

[Oofta]

There are times you just need to sit down with a player and explain that what they are doing is not fun for you or the group. Try to stay calm, don't make accusations but also don't back down.

You may want to chat with the other players first, you may want to message the disruptive player. Heck, you may want to write down what you're thinking ahead of time.

Try to avoid starting with things like "you always" and instead give very specific example and why it was problematic. Let them know what they did wrong, but also what they did right. They may not realize it's an issue.

The player may just not be a good match for you or the group, I accepted long ago that I can't be the right DM for everyone.

Good luck.

 

[Dausuul]

I've experienced DM burnout many a time, but it never hits me the way you describe. For me, at least, it comes as a slow draining away of enthusiasm and commitment. I agree with the other posters that this sounds like being fed up with a specific player's crap, rather than burnout in the usual sense.

What you're describing is a perfect example of why a lot of tables ban PvP. I'd go with one of two options:

1) Sit them down for a talk about how this is causing problems.
2) Boot them.

I'd lean toward option #1 for longtime friends, and #2 for a stranger in their first couple of sessions with our group. Of course, if #1 fails, you may have to go with #2 anyway.

 

[Glade Riven]

I've killed campaigns where I wasn't having fun being the DM. Particularly a Star Wars one. My players knew too much about Star Wars and while they were all having fun, I was having a problem surprising them.

 

[Blue]

Playing a long time campaign last night, adventurers on a B plot where they are trying to recover a necromantic crown from a tomb. Circumstances i.e traps, separate the mage from the party, he enters the tomb, loots the crown. Then helps to free the rest of the party from a couple traps and tells them he doesnt have the Crown. Much tense roleplaying and interpersonal chaos ensues. Finally the party snags the backpack from the mage, who has been acting suspiciously, and he misty steps away and says " I'm done with this party"

Player has been had a long time independent streak and there have been many real world frayed feelings over the years.

This sucks big time. In the groups I play with and run this would fail the social contract big time. We make sure to discuss PvP type behavior in Session 0. It might be a good idea to reserve a little time at the beginning of next session and get everyone on the same page. Perhaps the independant player can handle it and just needs to be aligned with the rest of the group. But if one player is looking for things from the game that reduce fun for other players at the table, it's better to play without them.

 

[JAMUMU]

I've killed campaigns where I wasn't having fun being the DM. Particularly a Star Wars one. My players knew too much about Star Wars and while they were all having fun, I was having a problem surprising them.

I feel you on this one. This sort of thing is why I have a strong preference for running [X]-with-the-serial-numbers-filed-off settings. We all know what vibe we're going for, but retain the capacity for surprise and a sense of the new (i.e. nicking stuff from other IPs).

 

[Blue]

I've experienced DM burnout many a time, but it never hits me the way you describe. For me, at least, it comes as a slow draining away of enthusiasm and commitment. I agree with the other posters that this sounds like being fed up with a specific player's crap, rather than burnout in the usual sense.

This describes DM burnout for me as well. When I don't want to put effort into prepping for sessions anymore, I need a break. When I start to look for reasons to cancel a session, I really need a break.

I'm getting close to that right now with a campaign close to it's 3rd year. But two sessions ago we had about an hour long talk during the session about what we want to accomplish for the end of the campaign (all homebrew and very player-interest directed) and having set goals that are of a reasonable length has helped rejuvenate me.

 

[gamerprinter]

Actually, I've been DMing so long (decades) that the few times I've tried to play, I don't have it in me, to limit myself to a single character. I've spent too many years operating the entire opposition, the monsters, the NPCs, the stories, that managing a single character is so incredibly boring and limited for me, I cannot do it. In order to get more game prep activity in me, I've become a third party publisher. I really enjoy being a 3PP...

 

[Yora]

No, I have not.

But I assume that was a rhetorical question.

 

[GwaihirAgain]

The demotivating part for me was the fact that as I left I heard a lot of unhappiness and dissatisfaction from players, and realized the situation is getting worse rather than better in spite of steps taken to improve the atmosphere at the table.

Scupper the B plot? Bring it on. That's the Joy/Challenge of DMing.

Thanks for the feeback
G

 

[Baldurs_Underdark]

That table either needs a reboot, or at least a new Session Zero. You need to sit down with the group and check what kind of game everybody wants to play.

Players tend to start sabotaging a game when they are dissatisfied with the game. Find out what's up. Find if there is a gap between the expectations of the various players.

If you prepare this Session Zero as a set of open questions (what, where, how), but not the "why" which is judging, and let these questions go around the table and give every player a chance to answer, you may salvage the situation. Top tip: Ask one of the more mature players first so this person can set an example.

If that fails, the campaign might end or continue with a change in the players.

 

[Stormonu]

I've had some burnout in the past, but it's usually after a campaign has ended - I just feel like I need a mental/physical break because it can be very taxing to organize the game, set up encounters and keep the various personalities involved properly engaged. In most cases, sitting on the player's side of the screen for a while has re-energized me to try my hand again.

Haven't had a case though, where I was ready to drop a game right in the middle of a game, thankfully.

 

[Lanefan]

Have you ever had a moment at your table, where almost like a light switch, You decide, Im Ok with not DMing anymore.

Playing a long time campaign last night, adventurers on a B plot where they are trying to recover a necromantic crown from a tomb. Circumstances i.e traps, separate the mage from the party, he enters the tomb, loots the crown. Then helps to free the rest of the party from a couple traps and tells them he doesnt have the Crown. Much tense roleplaying and interpersonal chaos ensues. Finally the party snags the backpack from the mage, who has been acting suspiciously, and he misty steps away and says " I'm done with this party"

So the player just roleplayed his mage right out of the party. That's cool - the player is being true to the character wherever that may lead. Kudos!

I had much the same thing happen in my game, only the character stayed with the party: she had found a Crown that the party didn't yet know it was looking for, stowed it away in her pack, and soon afterwards (unknown to anyone else) was taken over and possessed by said Crown. For the rest of that adventure and nearly all of the next where they and several other groups were actively seeking the Crown she carried it around in her backpack, until at the end of that adventure it took over, forced her to leave the party and made her give the Crown up to the opposition. (the party then wiped out said opposition, so all ended well)

Player has been had a long time independent streak and there have been many real world frayed feelings over the years.

Yeah, what happens in-character has to stay in-character.

Otherwise,

Anyway, I'm sure Ill pull it together in a while and keep DMing this campaign, but currently lacking any excitement or initiative.

Personally I sometimes find it easier to DM when a party is arguing with each other, as I can more or less sit back and watch until-unless I have to referee an in-character fight. Any situation/adventure/etc. prep I've done can always be used next week...

 

[Blue]

Just as another thing with burnout - when the OGL stuff was churning hard and heavy, I was just very demotivated to do anything with RPGs. I have a playtest I organized I let just slip to the side, I cancelled a game I was running when we were down one when normally our rule is down two, I missed a game I'm in. I'm doing better now, but that whole environment greatly added to my RPG burnout during that period, and now I'm feeling better.

So when looking at DM burnout, also look if you are stressing out in other parts of your life. It may be that what you need is a hiatus to let that other stuff pass and for you to recharge, not actually to close down a game.

 

[DMZ2112]

Finally the party snags the backpack from the mage, who has been acting suspiciously, and he misty steps away and says " I'm done with this party"

So... they're not welcome back, right?

This is the very definition of a "don't let the door hit you on your way out" situation.

I agree with most folks in the thread who are saying this is not dungeon master burnout. Dungeon master burnout is usually a dissatisfaction with the system or a loss of investment in an ongoing campaign.

This is having a player who needs a stern talking to and possibly a robust yeeting. It's just a game, sure, but it's also a substantial time investment on behalf of everyone involved; mustering the basic social niceties involved in cooperative gameplay is a pretty minimal expectation.

 

[EzekielRaiden]

Thankfully, I've never had any true DM burnout. The closest I've come was late last year. We've had a lot of skipped sessions over the past couple of years, as in it's now uncommon for us to have two back to back sessions anymore. Some of those have been on me, and I recognize that. But most of them have been because of life events for the players. It got to the point where I began to worry that, after almost five years of play (though only one player has been present for the entire five-year span), my players might be losing interest. Their reasons have always been perfectly legitimate ones, but the rate at which they've come up had become concerning.

Of course, then we had a couple of back-to-back sessions where the players were super engaged and motivated, and even the relatively quiet player got noticeably more active, which assuaged my concerns. They're still in it to "win" it (inasmuch as "winning" is possible), it's just been a rough couple of years.

 

[Oofta]

Funny thing is, I was the PC in kind-of-sort-of similar situation. Our group had been doing a quest equivalent of the rod of many parts, except that instead of a rod it was a crown. Anyway, when we nabbed the last piece my wizard grabbed it mentioned that he thought he was the best person to keep it safe and teleported away.

The PC was true neutral and, in a word, arrogant. But the important part of all of this is that I never tried to hide that I was absconding with the last piece when I left. Although I had never hinted to the other players until the moment that I would do this, I had discussed it with the DM ahead of time. In addition, I had no expectation of that PC continuing with the group. I accepted that I was going to cut ties and we were going our separate ways and that the PC had become an NPC should the other PCs decide to pursue him.

So I think something like this can work but the player of the PC has to accept the consequences of their actions. Also I think that while it was a surprise reveal, it helped that I didn't try to hide what I was doing and it didn't harm the group directly.