Well I did not screw anyone, but yes that is the idea.So the player, after being screwed by the GM through encounter design and enforcing this rule, should use a limited ressource (tactical mind) to use an action, which the GM easily can completly screw to make it do absolutely nothing? What should hiding even achieve? Fighter is the character which should be normally the one which wants to be attacked over the allies.
Hiding was an example, and if successful it would give the character advantage on their next attack in addition co keeping the PC from being attacked.
The player has the agency to take any action allowed in the game using the rules for that action.
Well its the GMs job to highlight players with their options chosen and make the game feel good for them.
Is it? I don't remember that from the DMG, although I do remember it saying a DM should be fair and flexible and treat players in a fair impartial manner.
It is not impartial if I let one player break the rules.
Also dont forget: Encounter variety is a tool to make encounters more fun, not a goal by itself.
Most of the table seemed pretty happy about it. Also note, I think you are off track. The player that left did not complain about the encounter, he did not say anything about the enemies phasing out of plane. His problem is the concentration rule for Ready a Spell, and he was fine with this encounter up until the point he wanted to break that rule.
I have had another player once a year or two ago get angry because I would not let him cast a spell when he had no spell slots left. Should I have let that go too? He didn't quit though.
When it comes to rules in combat I set an expectation in session 0, we will play rules as written except for certain specific houserules and I give players the opportunity to discuss and possibly any houserules they want. At some tables DMs play fast and loose with the rules and that is fine and it can be fun, but I find that to be a more difficult style for me as a DM and although I play and enjoy games with that style, as a player I also prefer games where the rules are not knowingly bent or outright broken. Finally, when I have played games like that; for me as a player and many other players it sets a gray area as to what should be allowed, and can be intimidating, while players with different personalities will be the ones breaking the rules all the time.
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