drnuncheon's Freeport Story Hour presents: Monte Cook's QUEEN OF LIES

drnuncheon

Explorer
OPENING TITLES

[BLACK SCREEN. The music begins. FADE IN and OUT on the titles:]

ENWorld Entertainment presents

A Story Hour Forum production

of a drnuncheon film

[Images start to appear - QUICK CUTS of the following, all in CLOSE-UP:]

[A saddle being lifted onto a horse.]

[A chain shirt of black metal rings being settled into place on a torso.]

[The saddle girth being buckled, tightened.]

[A swordbelt being donned.]


Melanie Johnston

[The stablehand brushing the nervous horse's face to sooth it.]

[An eye, with startlingly pale skin around it. A pair of fingers is drawn below it, leaving black behind.]

[A hoof is picked up, the shoe inspected.]

[A blade moving down a whetstone.]


John Carroll

[A letter, sealed with the seal of the Temple of Knowledge. The hand holding it turns it over and we see that it is addressed to one DI'FIER ANTON, Baron Threehills.]

[The blade turns over, moves down the whetstone again.]

[A stirrup, as a booted foot slides into it, and the rider swings up and into the saddle.]

[The hand sharpening the dagger spins it, reverses it, and slides it into its sheath. ZOOM IN on the hilt, where worked into it we see the delicate curves of the elven letter that is the equivalent of the 'N' - which is also the symbol for the Naïlo Organization. HOLD for a moment, then FADE OUT and IN on main title:]


qol2.gif


[Continue to CUT back and forth between the two scenes:]

[LONG SHOT of the horse and rider as they leave Highgate behind, heading down the road along the mountains that ring the city.]

[MEDIUM SHOT of a group of dark-clad figures that seem to be in a cavern. Everything is very dark, and anything more than their general shapes are difficult to make out. With only military-style gestures, no words, they begin moving.]

[FOLLOWING SHOT, over the rider's shoulder. Now outside the mountains, the rider makes its way back towards the cliffs. We get a bit more detail on the rider - she looks female, but with short, dark hair.]

[The figures, moving through an obviously man-made tunnel.]

[The horse and rider gallop along the edge of the cliffs in a spectacular helicopter shot.]

[A grating lifts aside, and the figures climb up into a dark nighttime street.]

[Again over the rider's shoulder. As her hair blows back we see a pointed ear. She leans forward, urging the horse faster - not because of any particular urgency, but just for the joy of riding fast.]

[Exterior shot of the Temple of Knowledge at night - think Greek: white marble, pillars. The steps are illuminated by iron stands in which burn fuelless flames. The dark-clad figures keep to the shadows as they mount the steps.]

[Exterior shot of an old, rather dilapidated-looking manor house near the seaside. It's clear that some work is being done at times, but there's nobody at it now. The horse enters at a walk, filling the screen as it passes by. Once our line of sight is clear again, the rider stops the horse and swings off.

[CLOSEUP of the rider's foot hitting the ground, and then a MATCH SHOT of another boot, walking silently across the marble floor of the temple. PAN FORWARD to see a young elven acolyte in the simple brown robes of the order. He is reshelving a book by the light of his lantern, and we seem to be watching him from the point of view of the intruder. Something alerts him, and he turns, confusion and fear on his face. A hand, stained black, snaps out to take hold of his throat and cut off his cry, and then a dagger - the same one we saw earlier - moves in to cut his throat.]

[CUT to BLACK.]
 
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drnuncheon

Explorer
Clearly, I'm doing something different here, and I hope that if ENWorld's resident professional screenwriter is reading this, he'll forgive me for butchering the conventions of his trade - really, it's to try to break me out of a rut, and to force me to think even more visually about the story. I hope that my readers will bear with this experiment - and hopefully even enjoy it as something a little different.

J
 


Jon Potter

First Post
Are you thinking of using this format throughout?

I certainly enjoy the format in small doses, but I'm not sure I could read the entire Story Hour this way.

It's definitely very exciting and dramatic as presented, however.

And, yes... this did seem like the Dru trailer. Let's see what Di'Fier's up to. As long as it's more exciting than remodeling his new house, that is. :)
 
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drnuncheon

Explorer
Jon Potter said:
Are you thinking of using this format throughout?

I certainly enjoy the format in small doses, but I'm not sure I could read the entire Story Hour this way.

The 'screenplay' format is only going to be here for Queen of Lies. For Book III: Betrayal, it'll be back to the classic.

I expect the current format will become a lot more readable when we get into the meat of the story - where there's dialogue and stuff to break up the stage directions. Persevere, and if it doesn't improve then console yourself with the thought that it won't last too long. ;)

EDIT: added the .sig, so there's links back to the earlier parts!

J
 
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drnuncheon

Explorer
INT - THREEHILLS MANOR, LIBRARY - DAY

[We see a pair of ornate double doors, with brightly polished brass handles. The handles turn and the doors swing inward towards the camera, revealing a man in a fancy coat and a powdered wig. This is JANOS, DI'FIER's butler.]


JANOS: My Lord? An elf. On a horse.

[CUT to shot of a young man at the desk, his brow furrowed in concentration, engaged in writing. It appears to be a spellbook or arcane journal of some kind, judging from the diagrams. He looks like he'd be more at home swinging a sword than scribbling in a spellbook. This is DI'FIER.]

DI'FIER (distracted): Show him in.

JANOS: It appears to be a (he hesitates) lady, my Lord.

[DI'FIER sets down his quill hurriedly and stands.]

DI'FIER: Dru?

[DI'FIER pushes past Janos and out into the hall.]

INT - THREEHILLS MANOR, FOYER - DAY

[Looking up from the ground floor, DI'FIER appears on the balcony as the front door opens and the rider steps in. Then, looking down from DI'FIER's vantage point, we finally get a look at the rider: an elf, attractive in a tough sort of way, with a thin pale scar on her cheek: DRU.]


DI'FIER: Dru!

[DI'FIER heads down the stairs, trailing JANOS behind him as DRU waits with a smirk.]


DI'FIER: It's been months! So much has happened around here. Between Janos (gesturing) - he's the butler that Egil found for me - and Mister Ames (catches himself) ah, Corman, the seneschal, we've almost got this place straightened out. Uncle Jardek left it in a mess. We still haven't found his tax records - if he was paying them.

DRU: It sounds like you've been busy.

DI'FIER: We have! Jakob's been training the men-at-arms, and (he pauses, suddenly sobering) What about you? Has there been any sign of your father?

DRU (shaking her head): Nothing. He didn't want me following him to wherever he went, and he did a damned good job of hiding his trail.

DI'FIER (hesitant): So...what brings you out here, then?

[DRU pulls out two messages - the one we saw earlier addressed to DI'FIER, and another which has already been opened. She passes DI'FIER his.]

DRU: Egil was going to send it by the post, but I told him I was coming out here anyway. I needed to get out of that city. I don't want the Dragon's Claw to recognize me and start wondering why I'm snooping around.

DI'FIER (reading the message): Cordially invited...investiture of Brother Egil as a Loremaster of the Temple of Knowledge. I had no idea he was so far along in his studies.

DRU: He'll be the second youngest Loremaster ever inducted. I think that Thuron's recommendation carried a lot of weight.

DI'FIER: Let's see...a week from today. Janos?

JANOS: The carriage for Highgate passes through the day after tomorrow, my lord. I will send Tomas to arrange passage. (he departs)

DI'FIER (softly): Has there really been no word? How are things back in Freeport?

DRU (softly): Nothing. Kennic and Jalen seem to be able to take care of things. I think I'm financing the new wing of the Merchant God's temple, though, with all of the sendings I've been buying. And the donations to make sure they stay quiet.

DI'FIER: You'll find him. I know you will. (he pauses, then brightens) Let's find out what Gina is cooking. Janos will have a room prepared by the time we're done.

EXT - FIELDS OUTSIDE KIRKWOOD - DAY

[DRU and DI'FIER walk side by side past pairs of MEN-AT-ARMS engaged in training with mock axes and shields. There's seven pairs, and one thin-looking youth watching from the side. It's the end of winter, but we can still see their breath in the air. A burly, armored man missing a hand - JAKOB KIRK - walks back and forth, watching the sparring.]


DI'FIER (gesturing): The Threehills Militia.

JAKOB (shouting): Quit staring! I don't care if it's the damned Emperor himself watching, you keep your eye on your foe! Are you going t'stop and gawk in a fight? Get those axes moving!

DRU: He's enthusiastic about his job, that's certain. It looks like this is just what he needed. I'm surprised that he wasn't asked to do it before.

DI'FIER (shrugs): Nobody's sure how Uncle Jardek paid the scutage, but he never seemed to raise any levies. I expect he probably used his magic instead, but I haven't even heard from Riverwood since I inherited.

[They stop and watch the training for a moment.]

DI'FIER: He wanted to use your people - to train in how to fight against spears - but we weren't sure we could make them understand that it was a mock combat.

DRU (sharply): They haven't been causing trouble, have they?

DI'FIER (laughs): No - at least, not apart from frightening some of the townsfolk who happened to see them.

INT - DIRT CAVE - DAY

[DRU descends down the short passage into a chamber that is dimly lit by flickering torches.]


DI'FIER (continues as VO): They've made themselves a nest beneath what's left of the carriage house.

[DRU's POV: we see a cluster of fifteen SERPENTMEN, kneeling and bowing to a crude statue of a coiled snake. Two are not - one, slender and clad in robes, is S'KARAT, the priest. The other, enormous and muscular, carrying a spear, is KRETH. The latter looks over to see DRU, and a hood flares around his head like a cobra. He weaves back and forth a bit, and then bows, very low.]

S'KARAT (bowing as well): Druuu...

DRU (scowls as she scans the crowd): I thought I only brought ten.

[S'KARAT cocks his head to one side, swinging it to look at the group of ophidian warriors, and then back to DRU. It seems clear that he doesn't understand.]

DRU (exasperated): I know you guys can't count, but where did the extras come from?

S'KARAT: More...to serve Yig...and Dru.

DRU: I'm going to need a bigger basement.
 
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Jon Potter

First Post
You're right, DrN. This format is much more readable than it seemed at first.

Di'fier mentioned Riverwood and I can't place it. Am I just being forgetful or has this location not made it into the story hour yet?
 

drnuncheon

Explorer
Jon Potter said:
Di'fier mentioned Riverwood and I can't place it. Am I just being forgetful or has this location not made it into the story hour yet?

I believe that this is the first mention of it, so no forgetfulness. The Barony of Threehills is a part of the Marquisate of Riverwood, which comprises the city of Perten and a crescent clockwise to the east and south, on the borders of the County of Bluffside (the city of Highgate and its surroundings).

You'll get to meet the Marquis, but not until Book Three.

J
 

SeldomSeen

Explorer
Thanks drnuncheon, I have now read your entire story hour, and have been loving it. I am a fan of the Havk and Fisher books and your game has really caught some of that gritty feel for me. The Queen of Lies trailer is fantastic. Sounds much better than many Hollywood movies I've seen lately.

Anywho, keep up the good work.
 

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