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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dr Midnight" data-source="post: 640391" data-attributes="member: 69">LING LING smacks TSO over the head.  LING LINGYou idiot! Your moron friends come over, which I didn’t want in the first place, and as a result, we are now burned down. I only thank the heavens you sent in the insurance papers like I told you to. TSO(eyes wide, a sheen of sweat on forehead) The… papers. Yes. Yes, thank heavens I sent them in. With his left hand, he casually checks his left jacket pocket and feels the envelope there. He smiles the worst smile in the world at his fiancé, and giggles nervously. CUDDLY JACKThat was a right donnybrook, eh? Bustin’ noses, smashin’ kneecaps… ahh, felt like the old days! Chai, didn’t you try to do somethin’ really cool just to see it backfire on ya LAST time we started fightin’ together, back in the hospital last year?CHAI TONG(pauses) Uh. Yes. Thank you. BAZOOKA(sadly) Nooo, I did it again. I blew up your restaurant. I’m sorry, Tso.CHEF TSOWell, it was going to happen eventually. And I don’t think YOU did it, this time… who was it?Everyone looks at GrandmaGRANDMA(indignantly) What?? Me? How dare you! (grimaces) It was an ugly restaurant anyway.BAZOOKASo what’s going to happen? They’re going to kidnap some scientist? CHEN YAU(brushing himself off) Yeah… the top neurobiologist in China, the Captain said. Sigh… I’ll almost miss that rude jerk.BAZOOKAThe top neurobiologist in… oh no. I know him! His name’s Takahashi! He lives a few blocks from here.CUDDLY JACKLet’s go, mates. They all pile into some… uh… vehicle or other and ARE OFF! They drive over to Dr. Takahashi’s house and knock on the door. A pretty woman answers the door. WOMANHello!BAZOOKAUh, yes, hello ma’am. I’m a friend of Dr. Takahashi’s. Is he here?WOMANWhy, no, he’s not! He went to the carnival, with our daughter! That’s probably where he is!BAZOOKAI… see. The carnival, you say?WOMANYes!She smiles a big toothy grin and twirls her hair. CUDDLY JACK and CHEF TSO are clearly very excited to go to the carnival. CHAI TONG attempts to calm them.CHAI TONGWe are going to rescue a man from abduction, not make big noises and threaten the lives of innocent people. CHEF TSOI KNOW, but… c’mon! The carnival! So much to do, see…CUDDLY JACK…destroy…CHEF TSOYeah!CHAI TONGYour western-influenced minds are weighed down with the useless confection of the action films used to dope you into submission. Not everything we come across has to resemble a scene from a Saturday afternoon TNT movie. You are boorish clods. GRANDMAThis from the man who enjoys soap operas.CHAI TONG (patiently) My weekday soaps give me everything the mind needs to thrive on a story. Themes of love, betrayal, conspiracy, and evil twins. Your Pixy-Stix addled brain couldn’t begin to understand their value. BAZOOKA Which carnival did they go to? Which direction?WOMANUmmmmmm…BAZOOKAC’mon, c’mon! This is important… WOMAN Gee, I don’t know! I’m just a trophy wife, you understand! BAZOOKAHow about the Hong Kong Carnival? Is that it?WOMANYeah, that sounds generic enough! I think they’re calling it the… ummmm… the Hong KONG-nival! Isn’t that clever!BAZOOKA(disgusted) No. Let’s go, guys. WOMAN(waves from door) BUBBYE!!!!!!! The group races to the Hong Kong-nival (which the studio named simply because “it would appeal to the 9-15 demographic”) and get out, rushing into the grounds. They’re stopped at the entrance by a bored teen selling tickets.TEENFifteen dollars.CUDDLY JACKWhat say I just walk in there past ya, mate? What y’gonna do about it?TEEN Fifteen dollars, please.CUDDLY JACK How ‘bout I give yer noggin fifteen wallops? How’s that? HOW IS THAT?TEEN(hands JACK a ticket) Enjoy your day. They enter the fairgrounds. They begin to look around for someone matching the doctor’s description. They hear a roaring noise and look up to see CHEN YAU jump the gates with a motorcycle. The Japanese- made street bike flies high over the crowd in slow motion. CHEN YAU realizes he’s about to crash into a tent, and bails, grabbing at one of those little basket chairs swinging on chains nearby. A little girl in the chair giggles. GIRLYou’re funny, you and almost fell!CHEN YAU(defensively) But I DIDN’T…GIRLYou ALMOST did!CHEN YAUNuh-uh!GIRL Yuh-HUH!The chairs are lowered to the ground and YAU gets off. The others approach him.CHAI TONGWhy didn’t you just walk in like us?CHEN YAUUrrgh… boring. The group separates. CHAI TONG and LING LING head for the ferris wheel. GRANDMA and BAZOOKA make a straight line for the bumper cars. CHEF TSO drinks and collapses near the information booth. CHEN YAU ascends one of those big wavy yellow slides to get a better view of the grounds. CUDDLY JACK carries WILLY over to the “helicopters”, the things on big hydraulic arms that lift up and down. CUDDLY JACKHelicopter ride, Willy!!!WILLY(panicking) no no NO MORE HEL NO MORE HELIC NO MORE HELICOPTERS!!!!CUDDLY JACK(hops inside one with his squirming friend) Yeah, no more! This’ll be fun, Willy!They begin to have fun, until they hear the little voice crying out that her daddy was just stolen by some mean men…</blockquote>

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