D&D General I’m Trying to Love D&D Again—and I’ve Got Some Complaints. Young Grognard posting.

[MichaelSomething]

While in principal I'm all for people playing the way they have fun, the problem is RPGs are a networked hobby, and not everyone, essentially, stays in their lane. At the very least you have to account for what happens when people end up the same game that have conflicting playstyles, and how that's resolved (and yes, sometimes that's "some of them go away", but contrary to what some people will say, its not always that tidy for any number of reasons).

Either people go through the emotional labor to get along despite differences or the game itself forces everyone to play in the same style. What solution do you prefer? If you have a better one, I'm all ears.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Either people go through the emotional labor to get along despite differences or the game itself forces everyone to play in the same style. What solution do you prefer? If you have a better one, I'm all ears.

The fact there isn't really a good one in all cases is the problem, and why people have a tendency to hunker down and be hostile to different styles; because they sense there may well some day be a situation where their choice is "play in a style you dislike or don't play". Nobody loves a Hobson's choice.

 

[MichaelSomething]

The fact there isn't really a good one in all cases is the problem, and why people have a tendency to hunker down and be hostile to different styles; because they sense there may well some day be a situation where their choice is "play in a style you dislike or don't play". Nobody loves a Hobson's choice.

It's the price we pay for TTRPG freedom.

 

[Thomas Shey]

It's the price we pay for TTRPG freedom.

That's little consolation for people who it impairs being able to play at all in a way they like.

 

[AlViking]

The fact there isn't really a good one in all cases is the problem, and why people have a tendency to hunker down and be hostile to different styles; because they sense there may well some day be a situation where their choice is "play in a style you dislike or don't play". Nobody loves a Hobson's choice.

Why is there a problem? Other than sometimes people aren't a good fit for a specific group.

So yeah, you have to make choices. It's why I let people know what kind of game I run even before a session 0. I've had a couple people decide to not continue my game I've left groups once or twice because they weren't for me. But the vast majority of times it worked out just fine.

 

[Umbran]

I thought we were above policing other people's playstyles???

Most of this isn't about policing playstyle, but discussing best practices for how you treat people.

 

[Umbran]

That's little consolation for people who it impairs being able to play at all in a way they like.

We are not miracle workers. I am terribly sorry if someone is not consoled - but we cannot magically make everyone's desires and needs compatible.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Why is there a problem? Other than sometimes people aren't a good fit for a specific group.

Did you read what I actually said? Its because that specific group is, for whatever reason, all they have available (or alternatively the other ones they have access to have the same style). For people who are playing only in-person this isn't a particularly weird situation to come up.

That's what makes it a Hobson's choice; play a way you don't want to or don't play.

 

[Thomas Shey]

We are not miracle workers. I am terribly sorry if someone is not consoled - but we cannot magically make everyone's desires and needs compatible.

But you also shouldn't be surpsised that people don't always respond well to "Sorry I can't help you." That's true in all kinds of situations.

 

[AlViking]

Did you read what I actually said? Its because that specific group is, for whatever reason, all they have available (or alternatively the other ones they have access to have the same style). For people who are playing only in-person this isn't a particularly weird situation to come up.

That's what makes it a Hobson's choice; play a way you don't want to or don't play.

It doesn't meet the definition of a Hobson's choice because a person always has at least 2 options: play or don't play. There are times when the options are either the other 4-6 people at the table play a game they don't like so that the 1 is happy or the 1 has to decide whether or not it's worth their time. That's just reality.

I say at least 2 options because there are also options such as DMing yourself and try to attract other players - that was one reason I started DMing again after a long break long ago. I couldn't find a gaming group I liked so I made my own.