D&D General I’m Trying to Love D&D Again—and I’ve Got Some Complaints. Young Grognard posting.

[Thomas Shey]

It doesn't meet the definition of a Hobson's choice because a person always has at least 2 options: play or don't play.

This assumes you treat "don't play" as a meaningful alternative. Take a look at the definitions listed for that in most dictionaries. Note most "Hobson's choice" situations have some variation of "or go away" as an alterntive or otherwise two mutually unacceptable options.

There are times when the options are either the other 4-6 people at the table play a game they don't like so that the 1 is happy or the 1 has to decide whether or not it's worth their time. That's just reality.

Sure. But I'm just saying "Don't be surprised that makes some people really unhappy, and they'd like the situation to be different, and in fact, may argue it should be." I'm mostly discussing why not understanding some of the reactions seems to not have a good understanding of human nature.

I say at least 2 options because there are also options such as DMing yourself and try to attract other players - that was one reason I started DMing again after a long break long ago. I couldn't find a gaming group I liked so I made my own.

That's not a real option if what you want is to play unless you think you can train other people toward your tastes and then stop GMing. There are plenty of people for whom "Play way X, don't play, or GM" GM is actually the worst choice.

 

[nevin]

It doesn't meet the definition of a Hobson's choice because a person always has at least 2 options: play or don't play. There are times when the options are either the other 4-6 people at the table play a game they don't like so that the 1 is happy or the 1 has to decide whether or not it's worth their time. That's just reality.

I say at least 2 options because there are also options such as DMing yourself and try to attract other players - that was one reason I started DMing again after a long break long ago. I couldn't find a gaming group I liked so I made my own.

It seems like you are ignoring what is being said while obsessing about definitions. Like it or not often for people without large numbers of gaming friends or social activities in places with them the option is play a way they don't like or not play at all. That's likey going to cause drama no matter how well you handle it.
It's great you have many choices that doesn't invalidate the situations where people don't.

 

[nevin]

Either people go through the emotional labor to get along despite differences or the game itself forces everyone to play in the same style. What solution do you prefer? If you have a better one, I'm all ears.

See this statement makes the game sound like a chore that must be suffers to get your bits of chocolate and beer at the end. I'd argue if it's emotional labor the best choice was simply not playing. Maybe that's not the way you meant it but as written sounds like a horrible bad no fun day for very little benefit.

 

[MichaelSomething]

See this statement makes the game sound like a chore that must be suffers to get your bits of chocolate and beer at the end. I'd argue if it's emotional labor the best choice was simply not playing. Maybe that's not the way you meant it but as written sounds like a horrible bad no fun day for very little benefit.

Sadly, there are TTRPG groups and situations that do require that much work to make it functional. Lots of groups also get along fine or can navigate their issues well enough.
Or
If the juice isn't worth the squeeze...

 

[Thomas Shey]

See this statement makes the game sound like a chore that must be suffers to get your bits of chocolate and beer at the end. I'd argue if it's emotional labor the best choice was simply not playing. Maybe that's not the way you meant it but as written sounds like a horrible bad no fun day for very little benefit.

Eh, "labor" does not necessarily indicate the overall experience is bad. Lots of entertainment activities have some associated labor (I doubt too many people find setting up camp the enjoyable part of camping, but it doesn't necessarily discourage them). I'd argue most RPGs have some degree of emotional labor for one or more participants; assuming everything goes smoothly without some effort doesn't seem to match much of my experience in the hobby, including in some otherwise excellent campaigns.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Sadly, there are TTRPG groups and situations that do require that much work to make it functional. Lots of groups also get along fine or can navigate their issues well enough.
Or
If the juice isn't worth the squeeze...

That's always what it comes down to; does the value you get out of it justify the effort? It can go either way, and it can take a while to decide in some cases.

 

[AlViking]

This assumes you treat "don't play" as a meaningful alternative. Take a look at the definitions listed for that in most dictionaries. Note most "Hobson's choice" situations have some variation of "or go away" as an alterntive or otherwise two mutually unacceptable options.




Sure. But I'm just saying "Don't be surprised that makes some people really unhappy, and they'd like the situation to be different, and in fact, may argue it should be." I'm mostly discussing why not understanding some of the reactions seems to not have a good understanding of human nature.

At a certain point you can make 1 person or 4-6 unhappy.

That's not a real option if what you want is to play unless you think you can train other people toward your tastes and then stop GMing. There are plenty of people for whom "Play way X, don't play, or GM" GM is actually the worst choice.

You can't always get what you want. There are plenty of things I would enjoy doing but don't for a variety of reasons.

There are times I compromise on what I'll accept. Other times I accept I can't get what I want and I pursue something else. I accept that as part of life. I have no idea why you're choosing this hill to die on or what you point is.

 

[Thomas Shey]

At a certain point you can make 1 person or 4-6 unhappy.

I'm not arguing otherwise. I'm addressing the people who don't seem to understand why people who find themselves on the wrong side of this tend to push back, like its a great mystery.

You can't always get what you want. There are plenty of things I would enjoy doing but don't for a variety of reasons.

There are times I compromise on what I'll accept. Other times I accept I can't get what I want and I pursue something else. I accept that as part of life. I have no idea why you're choosing this hill to die on or what you point is.

See above. I'm not dying on a hill, I'm trying to point out why other people do.

 

[AlViking]

It seems like you are ignoring what is being said while obsessing about definitions. Like it or not often for people without large numbers of gaming friends or social activities in places with them the option is play a way they don't like or not play at all. That's likey going to all cause drama no matter how well you handle it.
It's great you have many choices that doesn't invalidate the situations where people don't.

So? Do you have an option, any option at all, where everyone is happy?

 

[AlViking]

I'm not arguing otherwise. I'm addressing the people who don't seem to understand why people who find themselves on the wrong side of this tend to push back, like its a great mystery.



See above. I'm not dying on a hill, I'm trying to point out why other people do.

I think everyone you've had this discussion with understands by now. We all have times when we don't get what we want. After a while it's just complaining to complain.