If it weren't for kids... (your cute kid stories)

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

So, The_Universe and I took a vacation to Disney World last week (oh, I love Disney World!!!) and a most excellent encounter with a little boy in the bathroom... he, his siter, and his mother were in the bathroom - each of them filed into the same stall (was the handicap stall, so pretty big and the kinds were pretty little).

I smile kindly to the mother and her children before we proceed to our stalls. I tell the young girl that her mouse ears look very beautiful and ask the little boy if he is enjoying his time at Disney - he exlaims that he loves it and never wants to leave... the mother sighs, obviously exhausted. I wink and ask, "How many days?" She runs her fingers through her hair and says they have two more days left and WDW and then, it's on to the Kennedy Space Center.

As I retire to my bathroom stall, I can hear the shuffling of little feet in the stall next to me. I smile, dreaming of the day that I will some day bring my children to the wonderful world of Disney, but my pleasant dream is shattered by the sound of about 15 coins falling out of my jeans pockets and all over the bathroom floor. I manage to catch all but one of them before they roll out of my stall, but one darts out of my grasp and glides into the child-filled stall beside me.

Pants down to my knees, I blush a little and think, "I don't need that quarter." But, just as I am about to sit my tush upon the cover-wrapped toilet seat, the little boy peeks his head under the stall, my quarter in hand and says loudly, "Here! You dropped this!"

Not quite knowing what to do, I cover my *parts* up as best I can quickly snatch the quarter out of his little fingers. "Thank you," I studder - face blazing red.

He smiles brightly and simply replies, "You're welcome! I'm just being kind!" and pops his head back under the stall, finishes his business, and leaves.

I'm still a little shocked... but also inspired. ENWorld, tell me your cute kid stories. I'd love to hear them!

 

[The Shaman]

Not a cute story, but a happy one: our daughter started crawling tonight.

For cuteness I'd have to go with standing her up on the edge of the touch-tanks at the aquarium and listening to her laugh as she reaches out toward the fish swimming by.

 

[WizarDru]

Heh, I love kid stories. Most of our come from our youngest, Sean, age 5. Here's a few recent ones...

-----------

Got some SpongeBob cheese crackers (aka cheese nips) with the
groceries one day.

Sean was running around, loudly asking "Where are
the cheese nipples?"

-----------

Sean: did daddy get dressed and go to work?

My wife: yes.

Sean: well, if he didn't get dressed, and he's naked and he goes to work,
then they'll fire him out.

-----------

He's walking around with his foot in the handle of a plastic
lid saying one foot is normal, the other is a robot foot, plus saying
about a big battle on the mtn. at a castle and sauron is involved.

"But I couldn't resist. I still got a robot leg on." (makes whirring
robot sounds while walking)

"I call it robo-fiend"

"I got this robot leg because this human leg wasn't so good. But
Sauron only has armor. I got a robot leg"

- que him humming his own theme music

-----------

Sean, singing "frosty the mulchman was a very mulchy soul... (couldn't
make it out)... and 2 eyes made out of mulch"

Molly "what's he singing?"

me "Frosty the mulchman"

Molly "He's crazy"

Molly (to Sean) "You're crazy"

Sean "Yeah, I know"

-----------

He comes over with the cow puppet and says ...

"I know why cows drop milk outta their butts. Because they need to
make ice cream. I like ice cream. But I’m gonna stop eating candy."

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

My son (he was not quite six) at my grandmother's funeral, in the middle of the service: "Can't a priest just bring her back to life?"

 

[DonAdam]

My son (he was not quite six) at my grandmother's funeral, in the middle of the service: "Can't a priest just bring her back to life?"

Priceless.

My niece was playing with my dad and the dog and the dog did something that compelled my dad to say "You little [spelled a cuss word]."

My niece looked up and said "L-M-N-O-P!"

 

[billd91]

While visiting DC a few years ago and staying with my wife's uncle, I was kicking a ball around the back yard with my daughter, who was then about 3. Suddenly, she picks up a stick to be her sword and starts yelling at me, "You are a street rat!" I guess she was having a weird little Disney's Aladin moment. I was just so struck that it was right out of the blue.

Now, at the age of 6, she's learning to loot the bodies by playing D&D Heroes on our new X-Box. She's totally hooked on it. I'm really proud that she has learned the value of a good spell like Magic Missile. She still kind of freaks out when she tries to play Baldur's Gate Dark Alliances. The game's a little tougher and the pony-sized giant rat early in the game really scares her. I guess it's not time to spring Call of Cthulhu on her yet.

 

[Rel]

Samantha the Red is prone to these moments just as all kids are. One of my favorites was when I was making breakfast one morning. The conversation went like this:

Her: "Daddy, I'm lovin' these grits!"
Me: "Good! I'm glad you like them."
Her: "What are they made of?"
Me: "Grits? Hominy."
Her: "...three?"

(if you don't get it then say the last couple lines out loud)

Another situation that makes me smile when I recall it was when we were driving somewhere in the truck with my wife sitting in the back seat with her. My wife was explaining about how sometimes people laugh so hard that they cry a little bit when my daughter interrupts with, "I'm done with this gum. It lost its flavor." I don't have a convenient trash bag to put it in so I offer up an empty coffee mug and she puts it in there. The rest of the conversation goes like this:

Me: *feigning disgust* "Yuck! Now I've got this nasty gum in my coffee cup!"
Her: "Daddy, you can just WASH it!"
Me: *acting as though the thought never occurred to me* "Oh yeah..."
Her: *to my wife* "Daddy is a 'not knowing very much' kind of man, isn't he Mommy?"
Wife: *starts laughing very hard* "Yes. Sometimes he is."
Her: "Are you crying a little bit, Mommy?"
Wife: "Yes." *disolves into incoherent laughter*
Me: *frowning* "I'm crying a little bit too. On the inside."

Kids are hands down the biggest source of humor you'll probably ever have in your life. Rarely a day goes by when she doesn't say or do something that makes me laugh out loud.

 

[der_kluge]

My daughter is just getting into her terrible twos. They call it that for a reason, apparently. Our biggest battle is the dinner table, where she enjoys standing in her chair. She's already fallen out of it once. So, our nightly battle is to try to get her to sit down. She's just the cutest little thing in the world (of course, we think so, but many others agree), and she's just standing there, and I'll say, "Erin, sit on bottom." And she just gets all defiant and says, "no", and it just takes everything we have to keep from laughing at that.

The other night, she was sitting in said chair, and had picked up a pamphlet that my wife had gotten that had child activities in and around Richmond. And she was sitting there, holding it open like she was reading it, and she was just studying it so intently. My wife nudged me and it was just a priceless little scene.

When we used to try to get her to go to bed, we'd rock her in our arms, and maybe sing a little to her. Anytime Daddy sings, it's a bad thing apparently, and she just says "no". Whistling, humming, singing are all off limits for her, and she'll always so no to me if I'm doing them while holding her. I tried rocking her to sleep one night, and I'm singing a lullaby to her, and she keeps putting her hand in my face, trying to cover my mouth. She figured that if I couldn't sing, I guess she could stay awake. Seems reasonable. I couldn't help but laugh. So, inadvertently she got me to stop singing, because I was laughing too hard.

 

[Desdichado]

My six year old daughter says to me, two days ago, "Hey, Dad! Good news! When I grow up I'm gonna live real close to you and visit every day!"

It turns out she's having trouble deciding who to marry again; apparently practically all of the boys her age want to marry her. <sigh> And I thought we had gotten over that problem when she was two!

 

[francisca]

My daughter is just getting into her terrible twos. They call it that for a reason, apparently. Our biggest battle is the dinner table, where she enjoys standing in her chair.

Yup. You spend the first 2 years teaching them to walk and talk, then the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up. :\