I can't speak for anyone else, but you know I've said a number of times that it's fine that D&D is the way it is, in that I don't mind it --- it's the authors' decision what it should be and the users' decision to play it. But this all started because I am in the camp that believes that the idea of the pillars all being equally supported by the game --- or the pillars themselves, really --- is a bunch of hooey. D&D the game is a robust combat engine with some perfunctory non-combat rules and a big "you'll figure out what you like" twigs for the other "pillars".
I don't need to change your or anyone else's mind, or definitely not the game itself, but when talking about "what if these pillars actually meant something?", there's a lot of room for something more, even from D&D. I guess I think that's better, but it's kind of beside the point. The point is that from a mechanical or book guidance standooint, the pillars are hooey. There's one really big post holding the whole game up, and tables have to construct the rest themselves. Good or bad, that's how I see it.
I think we might disagree on what this argument is about, or the scope of it. Folks including you seem to think (rightly, IMO) that the problem is the rules telling the character what they do about [ANYTHING]. I think the game world/DM compelling action from a PC is going too far, but that's not even what I am advocating for, it's not even the topic in my opinion. I think putting a bit of fiction into the PC's head, within the "no compelling" constraint, is not violate. Stating, say, this NPC is making a convincing argument --- "Now what do you do?" is more interesting roleplaying than the player going "no they're not!". The PC hitting their breaking point and ignoring the NPC but at a cost of giving in to their carousing vice --- say they tell the king to screw off and tell the rest of the party they'll be at the bar --- is still complete player responsibility, but it's been coaxed out by the system. That's the space I want to explore, not mind control, not compelling action, but hey --- what if the game gave you some framework on how to roleplay non-combat conflict?