If your cat rolls a nat 20....

[Aeson]

WE FOUND CHEVY CHASE

WHERE? HE OWES ME MONEY!

 

[jian]

A house cat rolling a critical hit should be enough to drop a level 1 wizard. For any sufficiently advanced house cat.

I mean, if the cat has character levels or even a prestige class, sure. If you know such a cat, I would recommend moving counties. Or possibly continents.

 

[TheHand]

Clearly it would be (… looks around nervously)…

A cat-tastrophe!

(Flees…)

 

[gnarlygninja]

He knocks the die off the table, loses interest, and goes to sleep on the battle mat.

 

[Tonguez]

I mean, if the cat has character levels or even a prestige class, sure. If you know such a cat, I would recommend moving counties. Or possibly continents.

I remember the day our old grey Tom Mussmuss got hit by a car, sommersaulted through the air, landed on its feet, took time to lick a paw then walked away.

The same cat would chase the neighbourhood dogs away from our yard - best guard cat we ever had.

 

[Benjamin Olson]

When she was a kitten my cat loved to chew on and tear up bits of paper. One day, she not only figured out a route to reach the top of the tallest bookshelf in my library but found a treasure of a small poster I had up there to tear up. Clearly her DM was rewarding a particularly good roll.

Another time I think she caught a bat midair.

 

[MarkB]

Another time I think she caught a bat midair.

One time when I was a kid a baby bat got into our parents' bedroom and was circling the light fixture on the ceiling. Our cat came in, got on the bed and was watching it. We thought nothing of it in the moment, it was still another 6-7 feet up from the bed to the light. Then the cat just did a perfect vertical leap and came down with the bat in her mouth.

The poor thing was still alive when my father pried it from the cat's jaws, and was let loose into the night, but I have my doubts it survived very long.

 

[Whisper-Kitten]

One time when I was a kid a baby bat got into our parents' bedroom and was circling the light fixture on the ceiling. Our cat came in, got on the bed and was watching it. We thought nothing of it in the moment, it was still another 6-7 feet up from the bed to the light. Then the cat just did a perfect vertical leap and came down with the bat in her mouth.

The poor thing was still alive when my father pried it from the cat's jaws, and was let loose into the night, but I have my doubts it survived very long.

Imagine the stories that he told if he survived though.

 

[Whisper-Kitten]

I remember the day our old grey Tom Mussmuss got hit by a car, sommersaulted through the air, landed on its feet, took time to lick a paw then walked away.

The same cat would chase the neighbourhood dogs away from our yard - best guard cat we ever had.

That cat wins simply by his name alone.

 

[Mad_Jack]

The same cat would chase the neighbourhood dogs away from our yard - best guard cat we ever had.

When I was a kid, we had a blackish-brown cat named Tommy. He was basically the feline version of Glen Danzig - his 23 And Me profile probably would have listed bears and wolverines in his ancestry. He wouldn't have looked out of place with an eyepatch, earring and tattoos.
One day Tommy was chased by a great dane who had previously killed two of the smaller neighborhood dogs. Tommy ran twenty feet up a tree and then launched himself backwards out into midair like Rey Mysterio off the top rope...
The results of the Simone Biles-esque acrobatic dismount off the dog's head were... unpretty.
The dog was five times Tommy's size, but after that day anytime it saw Tommy anywhere on the same street it would run howling in the opposite direction.