D&D 5E (2024) It’s my birthday!

aco175 · Jun 27, 2026

Scout camp sings something like this Viking birthday song to campers. I can't recall the exact words they use.

Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Doom and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere
But it's your Birthday!
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
On your Birthday!

EzekielRaiden · Jun 27, 2026

On an only vaguely-related note...does anyone know why the stickied threads are now marked in silver in dark mode? It's profoundly distracting and makes it extremely difficult to read the title of the threads in question...

Richards · Jun 27, 2026

Hey! That means today's your unbirthday! Happy unbirthday, Morrus!

Johnathan

Lakesidefantasy · Jun 27, 2026

aco175 said:
View attachment 440737

So true!

I did, I did do that.

Lakesidefantasy · Jun 27, 2026

Morrus said:
It’s my birthday! I’ve been homeless for 9 days now due to a gas leak, so it’s not the birthday I would have wished for. But I still have a family dinner tonight and a movie tomorrow to look forward to, as well as a Kickstarter you can back if you want! (Please!)

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/enworld/en5ider-annual

View attachment 440733

Happy Birthday my man! Cheers and well wishes.

Hey, my birthday was the day before yours. I got a real Clifford Stoll Klein bottle! So cool.

Morrus · Jun 27, 2026

Lakesidefantasy said:
Happy Birthday my man! Cheers and well wishes.

Hey, my birthday was the day before yours. I got a real Clifford Stoll Klein bottle! So cool.

I got a gas leak!

abazaba · Jun 27, 2026

aco175 said:
Scout camp sings something like this Viking birthday song to campers. I can't recall the exact words they use.

Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
Doom and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere
But it's your Birthday!
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
On your Birthday!

I believe it's called 'The Birthday Dirge".

Chorus:
Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere.

Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake

You're a period cook, it's true
Ask the beetles in the stew

Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

Now your jail-bait days are done
Let's go out and have some fun!

May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe

You must marry very soon
Baby's due the next full moon

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you

Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues

They stole your gold, your sword, your house
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse

Tho' you're turning 29
Age to you is like fine wine

So you're 29 again
Don't tell lies to your good friend

Now you've lived another year
Age to you is like stale beer

So another year has passed
Don't look now they're gaining fast!

So you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near.

Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say

Black Death has just struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down

It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

See the wrinkles on your face
Like the pattern of fine lace

So far death you have bypassed
Don't look back it's gaining fast

Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies that you 'et

I'm a leper, can't you see
Get your birthday kiss from me.

Pay attention, you must learn
First you pillage, THEN you burn.

Children dying far and near
They say that cancer's caused by beer.

Children dying everywhere
Women crying in despair.

Typhoid, plague and polio
Coffins lined up in a row.

Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near.

May the children in the street
Be your barbecuing meat.

We, your friends will never tell
That your body has gone to hell.

At your age most folks go blind
You've kept your sight, but lost your mind.

While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you

We love children, yes we do
Boiled or baked or in a stew.

When you've reached this age you know
That the mind is first to go.

FINALE:
If there be verses we have missed
You can add them to the list.

I pray you pass your verse along
And thus improve our merry song.