Most Outrageous Weapons

[Evilhalfling]

The Sword of Normality - an intelligent sword that looked like a cruedly forged iron bar with a bad hilt. It's special powers were +5 ranks Profession Innkeeper, +5 Profession Farmer.
+ Bane, far realm & detect far realm 60'. It wanted its owner to retire and become a commoner, it used empathy to make inns feel comfortable and adventuring tasks (camping, puttin on armor etc) more tedious.

Sword of Choosing -
given by the gods to a PC with 18 str, Dx, & Cn. Crafted by Kervan? the Lord of Swords (GH quasi deity?) to encourage the PC to give up thievery and remain a fighter. It could shoot lighting, at the cost of non-magical healing damage. It failed utterly to inspire self-sacrifice or courage, and the special power was used once-ish. Meanwhile the character burned out a wand of wonder. ah. middle school.

I made up a set of "artifact" daggers - which were +2 and had seldomly used powers.

 

[William Ronald]

It wasn't me, but I did it too...in the Abyss!

Well, I did not do this. However, I am trying to recall if the party was in the Abyss as well.

 

[Bran Blackbyrd]

I had a fighter/cleric of Bacchus and my DM gave him a +3 triple flail that produced a Wand of Wonder type effect whenever he made a critical hit. All the effects were changed to be somehow related to wine or Bacchus.

Whenever the party encountered a group of enemies that had arranged themselves in a relatively straight row or column the player with the wizard would say he wanted to summon a storm giant... sideways.
It became a running gag, but he was never allowed to do it.

 

[Enamel_32]

In a short campaign I played in, the DM allowed one of our PCs, a wandering pelt merchant, to have a bow of wonder. It worked like a rod of wonder, and sort of like the imbue arrow ability for the arcane archer. The battles were all very unique because of it.

 

[Richards]

The latest freebie Portable Hole Full of Beer PDF has two dozen "Magic WeaPuns" I created, along the lines of a cutlass supreme, hot rod, ice sickle, turn pike, flag staff, and food chain. Each one has powers based on its "pun" name, but each also has an alternate, non-goofy name so it can be used as a perfectly sensible magic weapon.

Johnathan

 

[Mark CMG]

This free one here?

 

[Roudi]

But surely, the most outrageous weapon I've ever seen is the rat-flail.

While not a weapon per se, a player of mine once tried to have fun with technicalities. They were exploring a dark sewer and required light; he realized that his daylight spell needed to be cast on an object. He chose to cast it on his codpiece.

Brightest. Codpiece. Ever.

 

[was]

I once had a half-orc fighter gain a cursed vorpal greatsword. Ended up cutting my own leg off.

 

[Fieari]

I was always fond of the +5 Humanoid-Bane Shocking Thundering Keen Vorpal Scimitar of Excessively Eager Great Cleaving that FORCES the user to cleave after a kill. If there are no valid enemy targets, a friendly one will have to do. If there are no valid targets whatsoever, then you attack yourself.

 

[Bront]

My favorite odd weapon was the +1 Ghost Touch Bastard Sword of Throwing and Returning. It was an... interesting item.

 

[Tuzenbach]

We had a player who continuously pestered the DM for a flaming sword.
Every games session, and multiple times per sessions. "I want a flaming sword!" over and over.
So finally the DM relented, and gave him a flaming sword.
A cursed, flamingly gay intelligent sword named Mary.
Mary had an incrediblely high Ego score, and forced the player to cross-dress, and prance about in a very stereotypical gay fashion. He deserved it.

I recall a friend of mine talk of something similar. The party found a sword that was either glowing pink or in a pink scabbard or some damn thing. Anyway, it turns out to be the "Gay Blade", whatever that is. It's wielder eventually becomes gay and the sword's cursed so you can't get rid of it.

 

[The Shaman]

So finally the DM relented, and gave him a flaming sword.
A cursed, flamingly gay intelligent sword named Mary.
Mary had an incrediblely high Ego score, and forced the player to cross-dress, and prance about in a very stereotypical gay fashion.

The party found a sword that was either glowing pink or in a pink scabbard or some damn thing. Anyway, it turns out to be the "Gay Blade", whatever that is. It's wielder eventually becomes gay and the sword's cursed so you can't get rid of it.

:\

Spoiler

How effing lame.

 

[demiurge1138]

But surely, the most outrageous weapon I've ever seen is the rat-flail.

I didn't use it as a weapon, but one of my groups has encountered a crazy beggar living in a sewer with a rat-flail.

Only one person got it.

Demiurge out.

 

[the Jester]

Okay, so let's cast our minds back to 1e... the early days... and to Nick.

Nick was a sword, iirc- can't recall his properties for the most part, but the relevent one was that he was schizophrenic (in the 1e DMG sense of the word). And in each of his different identities he had different abilities and powers. For example, in one of his forms he was a +2 spear that could fly. (No, not cast fly on the wielder- you had to just hold on!) Another of his forms was a magical feather duster that could destroy earth elementals like you wouldn't believe, but his name was really long in that form and he would refuse to do your bidding if you didn't address him by name and pronounce it correctly.

Later, in 2e, I gave a pc a magical rosebush attached to a handle that did 1d20 divided by 1d8 points of damage.

Ahh, good times.

 

[BlueBlackRed]

I was in a game once where an intelligant longsword had multiple personalities.
Every morning you roll a d8 determine what bonuses/penalties/personalities.
It's name was Cybill.

 

[Jack of Shadows]

Heh,

I once playing in a tourney adventure where my monk had a ball of bowling. When you rolled it at hordes of enemies it would knock them all down. Sort of a trip attempt against the target and everyone adjacent to the target and then everyone adjacent to them. If I remember correctly the one place I actually used it in the adventure had gutters and after throwing the ball returned by rolling down said gutters.

Jack

 

[William Ronald]

:\

Spoiler

How effing lame.

Agreed, but sadly predictable.

As for odd weapon traits, the singing sword with hiccups does seem a bit weird. Of course, one unpopular weapon would be one that would allow the weapon to replicate the stench of a troglodyte. (Your character and everyone around him or her must make fort saves tor resist nausea.)

 

[Tuzenbach]

:\

Spoiler

How effing lame.

Definitely! I suppose things like this are for either:


1) Very young/immature gamers

or

2) Players/DMs with severe homophobia


But it's OK. One day humanity with be a more wise and respectable race of beings.

 

[Lonely Tylenol]

There were a series of items made of magic bread. The Loaf of... series. The most remarkable one was the Loaf of Beating, which was actually a slab of iron cleverly disguised to look like a baguette. It was intended to be inserted into an assortment of breads in a market stall. It had two powers:
1. It had a compulsion effect on it such that if you were interested in bread, you overlook the Loaf when choosing which bread you wanted to buy, and if you were interested in stealing anything at all in the market, if you laid eyes on the loaf, you had to save or be compelled to steal it.
2. If lifted by someone without pronouncing the command word, it animated as a +3 dancing merciful club which beat the would-be thief into unconsciousness while screaming "Stop Thief!"

 

[Rockwolf66]

Well back when 3.0 came out my Teifling Rogue/Shadowdancer got her hands on a +5 Vorpal short sword. Needless to say that things got very interesting as She did her best not to leave a trail of bodies as everything and it's mother would want that sword.