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Message: <blockquote data-quote="I'm A Banana" data-source="post: 849219" data-attributes="member: 2067">I got the greatest story about a group of doofuses.This summer, I worked third shift at a local convinience store. Since it's generally slow as hell during those wee hours, I usually braught in my laptop to amuse me in between 'atcual work,' and to play my collection of illeagal music instead of the endless repetition of the radio, which was stuck on some local country station. I used my computer on the desk near the cash register so when someone came in, I could just pop up and help them.Well, at about three AM one night, the door was flung open by a potential customer. I rose with a smile to greet them, and was met with a siny metal barrel pointed squarely at my chest and cries of "MOVE IT MUTHAF-ER! GO! GET THE MONEY! OPEN THE DRAWER! GO OR WE'LL KILL YOU! WE'LL SHOOT! YOU THINK WE JOKIN'?!"Well, in moments of stress the body generally does one of two things: crap itself or try to save itself. Thankfully, my bowels put up no protest as I lashed out at the nearest shouting youth with my patented "Dork-fu!" For those of you unfamiliar with these martial arts, Dork-fu consists mostly of flailing your arms in a manner rather reminiscent of a friendly waving greeting, only you do it quick enough and repeatedly enough that it basically boils down to a whirling dirvish of annoying slaps and smacks in front of you. The guy with the gun must've been nervous, too, as all it took was one mightily wus-like slap, and the gun was on the floor.Of course, it wasn't the only one they had, and this didn't exactly improve my image with them. But they didn't fill me fulla lead, because in the time it took them to notice the gun was on the ground, I had moved to the drawer and opened it. Thinking that muder would be a bit much, the four ski-mask clad youths made off with whatever was inside of it. They took off running and smiling and seemed positively giddy.I bet it wasn't until they got halfway home that they realized: They had gotten a grand total of about $15 out of the register (mostly quarters), and had left the $3000 computer. I bet they felt like coming back there and shooting me in the face just out of rage!HAHAHAHAHA! I ALMOST DIED!I'm not sure if I'm sarcastic nor not anymore...ah, well. Stoopid criminals. Heh. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /></blockquote>

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