[Scene] The Iconic War Crimes Tribunal

[Terath Ninir]

SCENE: The World Court, the Hague, the Netherlands. A circular courtroom. Three judges sit at the front of the courtroom. The defense and prosecution sit before them. The balcony above the court floor is filled with witnesses and members of the press.

A bailiff appears and makes an announcement.

"Here ye! Here ye! This session of the World Court will now come to order! Today we are hearing the case of the World vs. the Iconic Heroes."

The lead prosecutor rises.

"Today, the court is hearing the case against the group known as the Iconic 'Heroes'. This group claims to be an adventuring group, defending the world against evil. As the prosecution will show the court, they are really a group of genocidal mass-murders and looters.

"While we believe this group is guilty of many similar crimes, they are being prosecuted for their actions in the former goblin community of Radruundar. This area was once the abode of a group of dwarves, long ago. The dwarves have long since abandoned the area, but the Iconic Heroes used the fact that they once occupied Radruundar as an excuse to attack the current occupants. Their secondary excuse is that the goblins are somehow inherently evil, and the Iconic Heroes' gods told them to exterminate them.

"As is apparently their standard opporating proceedure, the Iconic Heroes snuck into Radruundar and began assassinating guards. Not content with murder, they systematically looted each victim and stripped every room of valuables as they proceeded through the complex.

"When they were finally located and counterattacked, the Iconic Heroes started using weapons of mass destruction (including fireball and flame strike) as they killed their way out. They did not discriminate against non-combatants, killing as many women and children as warriors on their way out.

"The Iconic Heroes stand accused of assassination, mass murder, genocide, religious persecution, looting the dead, and using weapons of mass destruction. We believe that we have more than enough evidence to prove all of these crimes and more to the court."

Please do not make off-topic comments in this thread. Thank you. -- The Management.

 

[Sixchan]

Its not really off topic, since it's related to the thread, but can we all participate in this? Or are you telling a story?

 

[Kaiyosama]

Its not really off topic, since it's related to the thread, but can we all participate in this? Or are you telling a story?

hmm, good question...

btw, this is very funny... keep it up!

If it is story, should it be in story hour?

On a negative side, people could read politics in this (gods told us to kill them)...

 

[Vadania]

I find your audacity to even attempt to try me laughable. You claim to speak for "The World" you cannot even begin to speak for the world.

Everything I have ever done has been in the best interest of the world.

You as mearly one type of inhabitant of this world presume to hold me for violating your whims? It's preposterous.

 

[Coik]

"The prosecution calls it's first witness."

A cute little lop rabbit with one of its forepaws in a sling limps into the witness box. It produces a copy of the Principia Discorida, hands it to the bailif, and swears on it.

"Now then," begins the prosecutor "Please state your name for the record."

The rabbit says "Coik."

After a pause, the prosecutor asks "Coik what?"

"Just Coik."

"Ah, I see. Mr. Coik, will you please state your occupation?"

"I am a professional Ambulatory Cuddly Woodland Critter."

"What does your job entail?"

"Hopping through the forest, staring inquisitivly at patrons while on my hind legs, and wrinkling my nose in an adorable fasion."

"Tell me, how did your forepaw come to be broken?"

"Well, I was out working one day in the Radruundar vicinity when I heard voices. Thinking them to be possible patrons, I approached the voices, and found them to be the defendents in a clearing. After observing them momentarily, I began washing my ears in a cute way."

"Could you demonstrate that, please?"

"Ummm...no. My paw, you see."

"Yes. Please, contiune."

"Well, when they saw me, the defendents seemed quite pleased. As that was not a unusual reaction, I approached them. Suddenly, the elven woman...the same one who just disrupted the precedings...cast a spell at me, paralyzing me. Then the one with the overly large sword grabbed me and dragged me towards them. When we reached his companions, he grabbed my forepaw, and the defendent with all the buckles told me that, if I didn't tell them where Radruundar was, they would break it."

"And did you?"

"Not at first, but then the fighter began twisting my arm, so I finally gave them the directions they wanted, just to stop the pain."

"And then what happened?"

"The fighter broke my forepaw anyway. And kicked me as he walked away."

A gasp goes up from the audience

"I see. Have you been able to work since this incident?"

"No. I'm out on medical leave, and will be for at least the next two weeks."

"How often must you see a doctor?"

"At least once a week, since I can't afford magial healing. To get salves to rub on it to reduce the pain and swelling, mostly."

"How severe is the pain?"

"Extremely severe, even with the medicine. I'm in near-constant physical and mental pain."

"Could you put a dollar amount on all these woes?"

"Not really...there's just so much..."

"Thank you. No further questions, your honors."

 

[Terath Ninir]

this is open to everyone; and it's all about politics

"Miss... Vadania, is it? Are you claiming to the court that you are above the law? The religious group you belong to, the "druids", claim to be nature lovers, yet you don't seem to have any problem with an innocent Ambulatory Cuddly Woodland Critter being harmed by your companions. It seems that not only do you not follow the laws of the world, you do not even follow your own rules.

"But we will have more evidence about your crimes as the case progresses. I think the court will be especially interested in your animal experimentation, hmm? Turning innocent animals into intelligent fighting machines, created only to kill. Hardly the actions of a supposed nature-worshipper..."

 

[Regdar]

Bah the damn rabbit should have spoke up. Regdar finds this whole process worthless.

Points to cyberzombie

You're out of order, this whole court is out of order. They were fricking goblins, goblins live to die, in vast quantities upon Regdar greatsword.

 

[Vadania]

*Vadania jumps up with her defense lawyer attempting to restrain her. *

This is insane! I did nothing of the kind! The spell I cast was to allow us to understand it's words. I never paralyzed the little creature, and I attempted to stop Regdar from hurting it, but he's somewhat larger than I if you hadn't noticed! After the bunny escaped from Regdar I spend 3 hours looking for to heal it, but to no avail and if he would be honest for one moment I have offered multiple times since this insane trail began to heal him! But he won't let me touch him, instead he continues to complain about not having magical healing.


This is crazy, How are we expected to defend ourself, if there is no adherance to the truth!

 

[Cyragnome]

A small gnome shuffles up to the witness stand

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but?"

"I do" the gnome replies...

"For the record, state your name"

"Me, sir? I'm Cyragnome, a humble traveller and adventurer...I dabble a bit in the 'Mad Scientist Aide' er...'scientific endeavors'"

"Thank you, and you witnessed said events"

"Yes"

"Please, for the court...describe the 'events'"

"Well, I was out gathering brains...er...components for my master...er employer and I came across this hulking brute of a human...now I have no love for the goblin species, being a gnome and all...but my employer a member of "Doctors without Morals...er Borders' had sent me to assist with a group of refugees by harvesting their brain...er...relocating them...This hulking brute-"

"Is he in this court today?"

"Yes"

"Can you point him out?"

Cyragnome points to Regdar

"Now this brute" Cyragnome continued " was cleaving and great cleaving and generally massacring the little buggers...er goblins...it was tremendously gratifying...er...horrible. He did this one thing with goblin heads and pikes...totally ruins brains, I tell you!"

"And was this, Regdar, using excessive force to pacify the civilian goblin population?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely! I mean the Attacks of Opportunity levels were just insane...cleave here, great cleave there, power attack, power attack...quite bloody...totally unnecessary...I mean...he should have used a dagger, they only have, like what, 4 HP on average...excessive force, yes..."

"Thank you Mr. Gnome, we reserve the right to recall you to the stand"