Menu
News
All News
Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
Pathfinder
Starfinder
Warhammer
2d20 System
Year Zero Engine
Industry News
Reviews
Dragon Reflections
White Dwarf Reflections
Columns
Weekly Digests
Weekly News Digest
Freebies, Sales & Bundles
RPG Print News
RPG Crowdfunding News
Game Content
ENterplanetary DimENsions
Mythological Figures
Opinion
Worlds of Design
Peregrine's Nest
RPG Evolution
Other Columns
From the Freelancing Frontline
Monster ENcyclopedia
WotC/TSR Alumni Look Back
4 Hours w/RSD (Ryan Dancey)
The Road to 3E (Jonathan Tweet)
Greenwood's Realms (Ed Greenwood)
Drawmij's TSR (Jim Ward)
Community
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions, OSR, & D&D Variants
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Resources
Wiki
Pages
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Downloads
Latest reviews
Search resources
EN Publishing
Store
EN5ider
Adventures in ZEITGEIST
Awfully Cheerful Engine
What's OLD is NEW
Judge Dredd & The Worlds Of 2000AD
War of the Burning Sky
Level Up: Advanced 5E
Events & Releases
Upcoming Events
Private Events
Featured Events
Socials!
EN Publishing
Twitter
BlueSky
Facebook
Instagram
EN World
BlueSky
YouTube
Facebook
Twitter
Twitch
Podcast
Features
Top 5 RPGs Compiled Charts 2004-Present
Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0
Ryan Dancey: Acquiring TSR
Q&A With Gary Gygax
D&D Rules FAQs
TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History
D&D Pronunciation Guide
Million Dollar TTRPG Kickstarters
Tabletop RPG Podcast Hall of Fame
Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News
D&D in the Mainstream
D&D & RPG History
About Morrus
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Forums & Topics
Forum List
Latest Posts
Forum list
*Dungeons & Dragons
Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition
D&D Older Editions, OSR, & D&D Variants
*TTRPGs General
*Pathfinder & Starfinder
EN Publishing
*Geek Talk & Media
Search forums
Chat/Discord
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.
Rocket your D&D 5E and Level Up: Advanced 5E games into space! Alpha Star Magazine Is Launching... Right Now!
Community
Playing the Game
Play by Post
Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern! (chapter 1, now closed)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Lazlow" data-source="post: 2553587" data-attributes="member: 24242"><p>Ranti walks towards the sheriff, looks the big fat man in the eyes and states:</p><p></p><p><span style="color: green">"I just finished cleaning up the docks of the dregs that decided to accost registered Deputies. I would hate to deprive this fine town of the rest of the riff-raff that need to be cleaned up. I am sure that the majority of the fine folks following you have no qualms with us and seem to be intent on damage for no other reason than the fact that they are following you." </span></p><p></p><p>He turns to face the crowd, who, for the most part, stands stock still in utter amazement at the loquacity of this elf.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: green">"I realize that a lot of you folks must have families and homes that need to be taken care of. Now think how hard that would be with ventilation holes coming out of you. I am a master swordsman and will be more than willing to fillet the lot of you if even one of you tries to be forward in their steps and backward in their thinking. In case you did not notice, my friends and I were more than able to wipe that crowd of sailor trash off the docks and we did so with little loss of blood on our side, and not even breathing heavy."</span></p><p></p><p>Still holding the crowd at rapt attention, he then gestures at the outfitted deputies.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: green">"As you might also notice, we are armed to the teeth and have arcane magics at our command. Not I know there are a lot of you who are not afraid to die, but are there any of you who migh be afraid to die if you thought that your god would decline you entrance to your chosen paradise? Are you so sure that the arcane magics that we wield would not strip your soul and cause you to fail in the eyes of your god. My god would be more than willing to accept you into the torture plane that he has set up for those that are stupid enough to follow a leader that needs a large lot of otherwise intelligent peoples to do his work. And I quote the book of Argle-Bargle chapter 745 verse 12 'the masses that seek to destroy as the weapon of a fool will be cast into the lake of biting ants for all eter-"</span></p><p></p><p>Suddenly his recitation of the holy writ of Argle-Bargle is cut short by a sharp "Bugger off, ya pansy", and, more importantly, a large, mostly rotten vegetable, most likely of the squash family. It misses Ranti by barely an inch, but the insides spew forth most yuckily, tainting his boots and pants.</p><p></p><p>In the split second of utter quiet that follows, Berserker Bill grabs Squeaky's finger and breaks it.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Teal">"I am getting so tired of you stupid yokels purposefully getting in my way."</span></p><p></p><p>He continues to bend Squeaky's hand and fingers, bringing him to his knees. <span style="color: Teal">"I'm trying to do a job here that's not going to cause any of you any harm, and is, in fact, going to help out, and every direction I turn someone is in my way. Can't a guy just go on a freaking quest around here without . . ."</span> he lets go of Squeaky and finishes, <span style="color: Teal">" . . . you know . . ."</span> He puts his hand on his sword. <span style="color: Teal">"Trouble."</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lazlow, post: 2553587, member: 24242"] Ranti walks towards the sheriff, looks the big fat man in the eyes and states: [color=green]"I just finished cleaning up the docks of the dregs that decided to accost registered Deputies. I would hate to deprive this fine town of the rest of the riff-raff that need to be cleaned up. I am sure that the majority of the fine folks following you have no qualms with us and seem to be intent on damage for no other reason than the fact that they are following you." [/color] He turns to face the crowd, who, for the most part, stands stock still in utter amazement at the loquacity of this elf. [color=green]"I realize that a lot of you folks must have families and homes that need to be taken care of. Now think how hard that would be with ventilation holes coming out of you. I am a master swordsman and will be more than willing to fillet the lot of you if even one of you tries to be forward in their steps and backward in their thinking. In case you did not notice, my friends and I were more than able to wipe that crowd of sailor trash off the docks and we did so with little loss of blood on our side, and not even breathing heavy."[/color] Still holding the crowd at rapt attention, he then gestures at the outfitted deputies. [color=green]"As you might also notice, we are armed to the teeth and have arcane magics at our command. Not I know there are a lot of you who are not afraid to die, but are there any of you who migh be afraid to die if you thought that your god would decline you entrance to your chosen paradise? Are you so sure that the arcane magics that we wield would not strip your soul and cause you to fail in the eyes of your god. My god would be more than willing to accept you into the torture plane that he has set up for those that are stupid enough to follow a leader that needs a large lot of otherwise intelligent peoples to do his work. And I quote the book of Argle-Bargle chapter 745 verse 12 'the masses that seek to destroy as the weapon of a fool will be cast into the lake of biting ants for all eter-"[/color] Suddenly his recitation of the holy writ of Argle-Bargle is cut short by a sharp "Bugger off, ya pansy", and, more importantly, a large, mostly rotten vegetable, most likely of the squash family. It misses Ranti by barely an inch, but the insides spew forth most yuckily, tainting his boots and pants. In the split second of utter quiet that follows, Berserker Bill grabs Squeaky's finger and breaks it. [color=Teal]"I am getting so tired of you stupid yokels purposefully getting in my way."[/color] He continues to bend Squeaky's hand and fingers, bringing him to his knees. [color=Teal]"I'm trying to do a job here that's not going to cause any of you any harm, and is, in fact, going to help out, and every direction I turn someone is in my way. Can't a guy just go on a freaking quest around here without . . ."[/color] he lets go of Squeaky and finishes, [COLOR=Teal]" . . . you know . . ."[/COLOR] He puts his hand on his sword. [COLOR=Teal]"Trouble."[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Community
Playing the Game
Play by Post
Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern! (chapter 1, now closed)
Top