Talking To People Is Hard

[Ralif Redhammer]

I learned to play guitar because I'd rather be up on stage then in the crowd and God forbid have to dance.

Heh, yeah, in hindsight I have no idea what moved me to take on that, but it was ultimately good for me. And there's something so completely electric about having a club full of people all focused on you. I was only ever an okay singer, but I daresay I could capture an audience's attention.

True, I played a lot of theatre. It really helps with overcoming anxiety of making a fool of yourself, being more self-confident etc.

It's kinda funny, sometimes something we dread the most at first is the best thing for ourselves we can do.

As far as making a fool of myself, I remember the one show we played where I slipped and fell in front of a packed club. Only, I didn't just fall, I managed to get most of the rest of the band's cables wrapped around my legs. Like a fork twirling spaghetti, I disconnected them as a I crashed to the ground.

 

[payn]

Heh, yeah, in hindsight I have no idea what moved me to take on that, but it was ultimately good for me. And there's something so completely electric about having a club full of people all focused on you. I was only ever an okay singer, but I daresay I could capture an audience's attention.

I am extroverted, but I can burn out easily. I think the aspect of being connected to so many people, and putting your creative energy out to them, is a way of sharing that without having the stress of actual back and forth interaction typical of a social gathering. My thoughts on it anyway.

 

[Blue]

True, I played a lot of theatre. It really helps with overcoming anxiety of making a fool of yourself, being more self-confident etc.

I did this with renfaires. When it's not you that you're presenting, your own insecurities aren't in the way as much. If you're playing a fool, there's no harm in seeming foolish. Same with theater, no one judges you by the traits of the character. (Though most of my own theater work was lots of lighting and some set construction.)

 

[Blue]

Practice looking people in the eye when you talk to them and smiling. It helps. Social interaction is about playing roles, and the better you play, the better the reaction you get.

BTW, for all of our autistic friends: "looking someone in the eye" does need not mean staring directly into someone's eyeball the entire conversation. You look generally at their face, and make eye contact when they are saying something important to them (because they'll be seeking out eye contact) and vice versa.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

I am extroverted, but I can burn out easily. I think the aspect of being connected to so many people, and putting your creative energy out to them, is a way of sharing that without having the stress of actual back and forth interaction typical of a social gathering. My thoughts on it anyway.

That's a part of it, I think. There's also talking to fans, schmoozing and networking, being interviewed for zines. But by the time it got to that, I was already starting to come out of my shell a bit.

 

[Minion X]

BTW, for all of our autistic friends: "looking someone in the eye" does need not mean staring directly into someone's eyeball the entire conversation. You look generally at their face, and make eye contact when they are saying something important to them (because they'll be seeking out eye contact) and vice versa.

In some cases you should, though. Looking teachers intently in the eye and nodding when appropriate gives them the impression that you are deeply interested in their subject.

 

[Clint_L]

In some cases you should, though. Looking teachers intently in the eye and nodding when appropriate gives them the impression that you are deeply interested in their subject.

No, it would actually be really weird and creepy. If one of my students was doing this I'd wonder what was wrong with them. And also, my son has ASD, so can we drop this ignorant line of discussion, please?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I’m pretty damned introverted.

One “ice breaking” habit I’ve cultivated is carrying or wearing something unusual that will invite others to approach me. What that is depends on the context of the time & place where I am going to be.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I learned to play guitar because I'd rather be up on stage then in the crowd and God forbid have to dance.

I was only ever an okay singer, but I daresay I could capture an audience's attention.

I’m a damn good singer, a former cellist, and- when I’ve been practicing- a decent guitarist.

Have I mentioned I’m an introvert? Very few people know how musically skilled I am. Those talents have utterly failed in drawing me out of my comfort zone.

 

[Zardnaar]

I’m pretty damned introverted.

One “ice breaking” habit I’ve cultivated is carrying or wearing something unusual that will invite others to approach me. What that is depends on the context of the time & place where I am going to be.

I did that and got in trouble at school.