We D&D.
Session #43 The Rise of Tiamat #02 Frottage, I would ask you to surrender all of your Philanderers.
Brothers of the First Light.
Lummins (played by Rob) Male Half-Elf Cleric of Lathander Lvl 8
Lux (played by Sandy) Female Human Warlock Lvl 8
Watt (played by Jackie) Male Human Bard Lvl 8
Sgt Bobby Markguth (played by Pete) Male Human Fighter Lvl 8
&
Hotlips Houlihan (played by Sandy) Female Halfling Rogue Lvl 8
Secondary PCs.
Derek Pilch (played by Jackie) Male Human Druid Lvl 8
Hard Bonk (played by Rob) Male Half-Orc Monk Lvl 8
Sgt Harald Hardaxe (played by Pete) Male Shield Dwarf Fighter Lvl 8
This is session #43 of our game, but only session #02 of The Rise of Tiamat scenario.
The PCs are camped in the ruins, at trails end- this, as best as they can tell, is as far as Varram the White and his crew journeyed in to the Serpent Hills. The PCs have found a camp, and more worryingly a clutch of freshly dug graves nearby. Night however is falling; the PCs therefore decide to rest up and watch what they presume to be Varram’s (abandoned?) camp.
Nothing happens for a good long while, it’s not until the wee small hours that Lux (Human Warlock) on watch spots a pair of Trolls nosing around the aforementioned camp, she quickly wakes her friends. Then after a very brief chat- the Trolls are getting closer, and the PCs are (of course) eager for a fight- they launch their attacks. It’s the start of the session- the Players are always eager for a fight at the start of the (game) night, or at least one of them always is. Say hello to Pete- Sgt Bobby Markguth (Human Fighter), he’s going to have a great session tonight.
Lummins (Half-Elf Cleric) as usual drops a Fireball in to the mix, note at this point the PCs can only see two Trolls- there’s a third, a tardy fellow who has not yet caught up with his pals. The two Trolls scream- both in flames, a second later the closest takes a crossbow bolt to the side of the head (and is thus reduced from 72 HP to 8 HP in two hits) the latter courtesy of Hotlips (Halfling Rogue). Watt (Human Bard) fires an arrow in to the beast- it drops, for good measure the Bard fires a second arrow in to the other Troll- yeah, that’s right- the Players are so tough they’re pulling their punches. Jackie playing Watt usually goes through her spells in double quick time- word around the table is, she’s saving them for something big. Trolls, it seems, cut no ice with her.
Lux fires a pair of Eldritch Blasts in to the lone survivor (the PCs believe) then Sgt Bobby spends an Action Surge to get to the beast- he almost destroys the creature with two hefty swings of Hazirawn- his new magical (and slightly evil- Shhh, none of the other Players know this) greatsword.
Sgt Bobby cackles with glee, as the blood and gore fly. I’ve had a word with Pete, he’s got to do more monstrous roleplaying if he wants to keep Hazirawn.
Me and my big mouth.
Seconds later, the second Troll (cursed with low Initiative) is also taken down, the bodies of the fallen pair are quickly set on fire, the third Troll stays in hiding, the PCs have not got a scratch on them. The last bad guy has seen enough; he heads back in to the tomb complex double-quick time.
A short while later, during the clear up after the fight, Sgt Bobby (somehow- he rolled a ‘19’ plus bonuses) finds the Trolls tracks, they lead to a very narrow culvert (opening) in to the cliff wall. Furthermore, it’s clear from the tracks that one Troll escaped this way. The opening is too small even for Hotlips- and yet the Fighter insists that the Trolls came (and went) through here (he’s not wrong).
After shrugs the PCs return to their vigil, or else to sleep, and awake four or more hours later ready to face the day, and ready to continue their pursuit of Varram the White (and his mask).
After a brief scope around the ruins in daylight- nothing much else is found, the PCs investigate the broken statues that seem to guard the way in to a high cavern entrance- the cliff wall here is carved with the strangest of sights. The images depicted show stars and planets, faceless tyrants and kings, and a variety of other fantastical scenes including a many-headed dragon (Tiamat, of course) emerging from what looks to be a river of fire. I thought I’d throw that one in there. The skill of the carvers has however been lost in places, areas of the cliff-face have been worn smooth by the steady hand of entropy.
Then the scared and partially broken twenty-foot-tall statues turn to face our intrepid quintet.
"Halt. You come before Diderius, ether walker and conduit of clairvoyance. Behold ye now his wondrous triumphs. Diderius extends wisdom, and Diderius offers knowledge. Which do you seek?"
Watt (Jackie), Lummins (Rob), Hotlips (Sandy) & Lux (still Sandy) chorus back more or less in unison- “Wisdom & Knowledge”, it seems they’ve got the hang of this.
Sgt Bobby (Pete) mutters “kiss-asses”, and kinda skulks about a bit.
A sign of things to come.
The statues reply- "Diderius shall grant you what you seek, but only if you heed him and continue to show proper respect!"
Watt quickly summarises- “This is Diderius’ home (and possibly his tomb)- he was a seeker of knowledge and wisdom, we should show respect, and listen to any other voices we hear.”
Lux begins pre-warning Hotlips, and more specifically Sgt Bobby- basically, the rough-house Fighter needs to be on his best behaviour.
Fat chance.
Up a ladder and in to the cave mouth- Watt notes the residue of an illusion here- depicting a simple but well-appointed tomb- then through a large stone door and in to a wide passage leading to another stone door. Six black stone statues of cowled and robed figures with staffs (Wizards?), arranged in pairs, guard the way to the far stone door.
Four of the five adventurers are suddenly struck by the same thought- "Some secrets are not meant for mortal minds to know. Look away from the darkness in which such knowledge hides."
No warning for Sgt Bobby though.
The statues turn in unison to face the approaching PCs, four of the five adventurers look away instinctively- Watt shouts for Sgt Bobby to “look away” also, but alas the Bard is much too late.
“There’s not even a face in here- shoddy workmanship”, Bobby states, while peering deeply in to the cowled recess of the nearest statue, the Fighter (the lucky bugger) makes his save. Pete is gurning like a fool (apposite) while Sandy & Jackie berate him, as per normal.
Hotlips leads the way- the group pass on and to the next door, and after a little caution in to the chamber beyond- a large domed room with a high-ceiling, with a balcony/ledge circling fifteen feet above. The entire floor of the chamber is an intricate mosaic- a knight with glowing sword fights against a Chimera (the PCs quickly identify the beast), the confrontation bathed in the rays of a glowing sun.
Suddenly the tiles start shifting- flipping over, turning… Lummins, Hotlips and Sgt Bobby spot the danger and are ready for the two-dimensional tile Chimera when it flies up from the floor of the chamber.
Alas, the highest of the PCs initiative rolls is Lux, and she’s surprised- the second highest is Lummins with an adjusted ‘7’, it had to happen one day. The Chimera takes flight, and while in motion bathes the PCs in flame- yep, all of them. It gets worse- all five PCs fail their saves, only Hotlips with her Evasion manages to soften the blow- that’s 37 Fire damage each, except for the Halfling.
There is swearing.
Much, much swearing.
I have never heard ladies swear so loudly, or so longly.
The tile Chimera takes off- heading up towards the ledge, Hotlips hits it with a crossbow bolt, while Sgt Bobby flails ineffectively with Hazirawn (that’s a ‘1’) as the creature gains altitude.
Just to note, three of the five PCs (Lux, Lummins & Watt) are bloodied- nice work.
Pete isn’t happy.
Lummins hits the beast with three (out of five) of his Scorching Rays, and then scurries away from his comrades. Hotlips fires another crossbow bolt in to the beast and runs in the opposite direction in to a shadowy corner to hide, the frustrated Rogue is aware that her crossbow bolts are doing very little damage to the brute, but the Chimera is fifteen feet up- in the air.
The PCs are trying to spread out- they don’t want to suffer the Chimera’s fiery breath again.
Sgt Bobby has the same problem as Hotlips, the Fighter throws a dagger at the beast (a hit, but for very little damage), he therefore gets his Second Wind and then screams at Lux- “make me Fly, witch!” (Pete’s sailing close to the wind already).
Lux goes one better- she casts Fly on Sgt Bobby and Hotlips, and then backs all the way out of the chamber.
The tile Chimera swoops down again, and tears in to Sgt Bobby- the Dragon head bites, the Goat head butts with its horns, and the Lion claws, all three hits- and now Sgt Bobby (Pete) is full on swear storm, and well below bloodied.
Remember Sgt Bobby was a sword and board guy- well, he ain’t no more with Hazirawn clutched in his murderous hands. He ditched two points of AC for his shield- and now he’s a much easier target.
The Chimera immediately attempts to fly up and away again- Sgt Bobby instinctively lashes out with Hazirawn and cuts through it, scattering broken tiles throughout the chamber.
A moment later Lummins gets to Sgt Bobby with an enhanced Cure Wounds, just as the big bad Fighter takes to the air- charging (swooping?) in to his prey, alas at the last moment the Chimera somehow turns side on- making it much harder for the warrior to connect with his greatsword (Disadvantage on his attacks).
Not for Sgt Bobby- two out of three of his attacks (with added Action Surge) are hits, the tiled beast is shattered and almost spent. Hotlips also floats up to savage the foe, but barely manages to scratch the beast (resistance and low damage rolls), and Watt’s much enhanced Shatter spell (really low damage 5d8 = ‘3’, ‘2’ & ‘1’ x 3, the Chimera saves for half) is also not enough. The tile Chimera is going to survive for another round of terror… Woo-hoo!
At which point Lux makes her way back in to the chamber, she had been watching the fight from the corridor- peeking through a gap in the door. The Warlock fires an Eldritch Blast in to the Chimera- it shatters spectacularly sending shards of tile ricocheting around the chamber (for a few points of damage for each PC, because the DM forgot about the Warlock and is now pissed).
That was a very nice fight, of course, the PCs- and Players are less inclined to agree.
The PCs, after a very brief chat, and some general grumpiness- they hate it when their PCs take a battering, and pointedly ignoring the door in the chamber marked ‘safe’ in chalk- retreat back the way they came. They, heads bowed (all of them), exit back through the corridor with the statue wizards, and all the way back out on to the ledge. A short rest is taken, uninterrupted, and with Sgt Bobby on guard throughout.
The Players are mostly sulking, there’s very little chat.
Just to note around the table when the PCs take a rest (Short or Extended) it often also signals a ten-minute time out for the Players.
Then, after much healing, they’re back in again, same routine- heads down as they pass the statues, and back in to the tile chamber. Hotlips is the first to spot that the tiles on the floor are slowly regenerating, the Chimera is being reconstructed. Sgt Bobby starts smashes up the regenerating tiles, that is until Lux and Watt barking at him to stop makes him reconsider his actions- or else he just can’t be bothered to argue with them. Watt and Lux’s concerns are as follows- 1) they’re supposed to be respecting the place, not vandalising it, and 2) Sgt Bobby is making a helluva noise.
We break for a brief time out (another), as the DM tries to placate the soon to be warring parties. Here we go again.
Back to the game…
Hotlips checks out the rest of the chamber- the door marked ‘safe’ (in chalk) opens in to a dank and dark area with a well in it (maybe), while the double doors to the north have something very heavy pressing on them from the other side. The Halfling Rogue, after a bunch of good to great rolls, correctly surmises that there has been a collapse beyond these portals, opening them would be foolish. Lastly there’s a downward sloping passage to the south east, not investigated yet.
In to the ‘safe’ room, there’s a well- with a rope and bucket, and a basin (of sorts) with a lever nearby. A short while later Lummins discovers there’s water in the well, the Priest of Lathander (with a little help from Hotlips to check for traps) empties the water in to the basin and then pulls the lever. The water (when the lever is pulled) disappears through a formerly plugged outlet and can be heard gurgling through hidden pipes within the wall.
Most odd.
Lummins, with a little help from his friends, repeats the action several more times- to the same effect, where does the water go? And, why? These are the questions the PCs need to know the answers to, it seems.
Hotlips is briefly lowered in to the well- the walls however are dotted with nasty looking red fungi that seem to weep a bloody substance; the Halfling gets in a bit of a panic (or else Sandy does) and is eventually hauled back up before the area below can be properly investigated.
Shame, I had a Troll down there waiting for the Rogue.
Back out to the mosaic chamber- the tile Chimera is definitely regenerating, after a brief game of guesstimate the PCs reckon that it will be ready to redeploy in about 24 hours.
Then down the sloped corridor- with Hotlips, as usual, leading the way.
Before the non-sneaky PCs even set off to follow the Halfling down the slope there’s a sudden grinding noise, the sun section of the tile mosaic on the floor swiftly slides aside and a ball of bones (skeletal parts) easily five feet in diameter shoots up through the newly revealed hatch and then goes bowling after the now scurrying Halfling- down the slope. The hatch of course closes up again.
Lux, Lummins and Watt scream a variety of warnings at Hotlips.
Hotlips spots the danger and screams some more.
Sgt Bobby laughs like a drain- “look at her go… her little legs…”, the Fighter dissolves in to belly laughs.
The result of which is… inevitable, the various bone limbs reach out to scoot the skeletal ball along the corridor faster- the Halfling is mown down, but only briefly (and for only 5 damage, thanks to Evasion) the skeletal ball careers on- in to an as yet unseen chamber, and somewhere there smashes to a halt.
There follows five to ten minutes of intense investigations, basically Hotlips has wandered in to the danger zone, so it’s now her job to find out how the trap works, and then to nullify it. The other PCs are not venturing in to the corridor until the fix is in.
Hotlips discovers two things- the very well-hidden pressure plate that activates the trap, she cannot however disarm it, a chalk outline is therefore scrawled on to the floor in the hope that the PCs will remember it is there and avoid it. Secondly a secret compartment set in to the wall- like a shaft for a dumbwaiter (which is exactly what it is). Hotlips could fit down the shaft easily, but she’s disinclined to do so, at the moment- maybe later.
So, forward- down the passage and in to another chamber, this one complete with faded tapestries on almost every wall, and with a shaft of light streaming in from high on the southern wall. There’s a door opposite the sloped passage, and nearby the shattered remains of the skeletal ball, also a much grander pair of stone doors to the north.
Again, a voice speaks, although only inside the heads of four of the five PCs-
"Humility proffered in the manner of Mystril shelters those opening the way to seeking knowledge."
All four PCs (three Players) automatically scream at Sgt Bobby- “don’t touch anything”, and then explain what they have heard.
Hotlips, meantime is sent for a sneak around the strange shaped chamber (a triangle with the pointy bit truncated) while the clever folk figure out the riddle- Lux works out what priests of Mystril do to show respect to their god- head bowed, hands held high as if holding a lamp. Lux and Watt quickly deduce that the way forward is through the double doors to the north, adopting the attitude of respectful Mystril priests.
Meantime Hotlips has gingerly lifted a few of the tapestries away from the walls- and found two upright sarcophagi embedded in the revealed stone surfaces- that’s not good, she concludes.
Which just leaves the plain looking door ahead to be investigated, no sound- no traps, the door leads in to a short passage with an identical door ahead, oddly the Halfling thinks she can hear crying coming from beyond the second door.
After a brief chat the PCs decide to head this way first, after Hotlips again checks the new door- and in to another oddly shaped chamber (the mirror of the first) although this placed is decked out like a study-cum-library, it’s very dusty here and alas the shelves are all empty.
Seconds later the sound of crying fades, and Ilda appears.
Ilda is a robed young human woman, and more disturbing- transparent, “she’s a Ghost”, Lux states confidently.
The PCs decide to chat, which is fortunate as Ilda begins by screaming at the intruders- issuing dire warnings (and threats) should the PCs attempt to steal anything from the tomb of her master- Diderius. Watt and Lux swing in to action, with Lummins helping out here and there, the trio eventually convince Ilda that the Brothers are here in search of Varram the White, and his companions, and not here to despoil.
There follows nearly twenty minutes of roleplay during which the PCs learn the following from Ilda-
1) This is Diderius the Diviner’s tomb, and during his life his scrying chambers- the great Diviner was regularly visited by kings and emperors who paid him fortunes to work his magic.
2) There is a very powerful divination pool within the complex. Note Watt (smart ass) figures out that the well and the water basin they found earlier must supply the water to the divining pool.
3) Ilda is sad because before he died Diderius, her beloved master, accused her of losing one of his precious books, a tome called ‘Transubstantiality across Potentialities’. Ilda would (obviously) like the PCs to look for the tome.
Note the PCs rolls are high throughout the above, and the roleplaying suitably great- even Sgt Bobby gets involved at one point. Lastly-
4) Ilda is aware that there are at present other strangers within the tomb complex, she would say more- i.e. tell the PCs all she knows, but… she’s so sad, right now. If only they could find the missing book.
So, the PCs have a book to find. After polite adieu’s (they’ll be back) the PCs retrace their steps in to the previous chamber, make like respectful priests of Mystril, and push open the great doors to the north.
In to a throne room.
Sat on the massive stone throne is an unmoving, but regal looking, figure- robed and with a long white beard, and easily over ten feet tall.
And before the throne a pile of treasure- silver coins and jewellery, and at least one potion flask.
“Don’t!” Issued simultaneously by Watt and Lux, but a little too late because Sgt Bobby heads over to the treasure pile…
Then a voice, rich and eloquent, the figure speaks-
"Ye who seek Diderius's insight must first furnish tribute, that Diderius might work his mighty magic. Lay such tribute at my feet or depart."
There follows a ten minute, sometimes (very) tetchy, debate- the crux of the matter is this- the PCs quickly figure out they have to add to the treasure pile in order to pass through the door to the west, which they also figure is the direction they need to go. Sgt Bobby (Pete) in his own words- “don’t pay tribute to no-one”.
The ten-minute (very tetchy) debate centres on the fact that for a good while (about ten minutes) Sgt Bobby refuses to put money in to the pile, even when all of the other PCs (and Players) offer to supply Sgt Bobby with the money to pay to pass.
Lummins offers the good Sgt ten gold pieces, so that he can pay one- nine profit.
It’s still a ‘no’ from Pete.
Note, at the end of this session we have time to reprise the argument above, with three Players asking (maybe hectoring is a better word) Pete about why he is, and in quotes (for legal reasons), “such an arse?” Hey-ho, we’ve been here before. The crux of the matter (once again) is this- Sgt Bobby (according to Pete, and he should know) bows to no man. The other three Players offer the following counter-arguments (again)-
a) Sgt Bobby (Pete) plays ball and does what he’s told when it suits him- a variety of examples are provided.
b) Sgt Bobby is good at the things he does (mostly fighting stuff) several of the other PCs (played by his friends, including his wife) are good at other things- one of those things is roleplaying, and talking, and asking questions- and finding stuff out. Without the ‘finding out of things’ there can be very little fighting- the plot must go on etc.
c) More directly, why does Pete constantly make it difficult for his friends to enjoy the game.
There’s a few more arguments I’ve missed off the list, but the squabbling kinda wandered around a bit. It’s the above three points, and particularly the last one, that hit home (maybe, for a bit) with Pete.
Pete plays the “that’s what my character is like” card several times, at least once too many as it happens, as Jackie (his wife) eventually (at last) tells him to “grow up”, followed in her most exasperated voice by- “it’s just a game!”
But that’s for later… and, rest assured, if your eyes only skimmed some of the above then don’t worry because you’ll read it again, and again, and… well, we’re still playing and we’re still falling out.
So, eventually… all five PCs drop a gold coin in to the treasure pile.
The stone door to the west grinds open, and the massive bearded figure on the throne signals for the PCs to pass on, and so they do- Hotlips, as always, taking the lead.
The Halfling sneaks down a set of stairs, and peers in to the lit chamber ahead- at a large stone table a clutch of tall humanoid figures sit- all dressed in rough clothing. All five of the figures possess the strangest of beards which seem to consist of knots of writhing appendages- most odd. The quintet are all smoking (cigars) and playing cards, a very odd game of cards.
They’re playing an Infernal version of Happy Families (see later).
The Players didn’t get the joke either, but I was laughing all the while (inside).
The five figures are engrossed in their game, Hotlips can’t understand what they are saying- nor can any of the other PCs, they’re speaking in Infernal. However (after a ‘20’ Monster Knowledge check) the Halfling is certain that the creatures are Bearded Devils- all five of them.
That’s a lot of Devils.
The Halfling Rogue goes to sneak back to her friends, but is interrupted…
“You may as well come in. We heard the door open.” One of the Bearded Devil’s declares, in the Common tongue.
Note, Hotlips Stealth check was a ‘9’, she’d forgotten about that.
All five PCs descend the stair to see the Devils, who continue at their card game talking in the Common tongue now.
“Cokbox, I would ask you for all of your Murderers.”
“I have no Murderers, Snotflinch. It is now my go.”
“Frottage, I would ask you to surrender all of you Philanderers.”
The Bearded Devil named Frottage hands over two cards.
“There are my Philanderers, Cokbox- well played.”
“Most thank you, Frottage.”
The PCs are ignored, until a seething Sgt Bobby (somehow, he’s en route to being offended) draws his sword (Hazirawn) and makes for the Devils, at which point the closest of the quintet points at a set of stairs exiting the chamber to the south.
“I think you’ll find that Varram went that way”, the Bearded Devil (actually Frottage) simply states.
That however is the (frustrating) end of the session.
There’s a lot of “this is mad…” from several of the Players, and then we descend rapidly in to the bickering described above.
More action, less falling-out, next time.
Remember, as Bill Hicks used to say- it’s just a ride.
Strap-in.