Conversation as a D&D Sidequest

Last weekend, I spent some time hanging out with a friend from my D&D group. We had other things on the agenda, but we also realized that it was a perfect opportunity to have an in-character conversation we had been trying to have in-game for nearly two months. Our sessions have been eventful, and there wasn’t a good time to pause for it. We thought it might be a longish discussion, and wouldn't include the other characters, so we kept putting it off.


I have done some geeky things in my day -- opening a comic and game shop, visiting filming locations for favorite movies and TV shows, writing a column about D&D -- but I think I just leveled up. We started sharing some big backstory secrets while sitting at the kitchen table, then continued as we walked down the wine aisle at the grocery store. We weren’t in costume, but maybe it still counts as my first LARP experience. Regardless, that’s some next-level geekery, and it was delightful. Don’t worry, moms from 1982, I still know the difference between the game and reality.

This wasn’t the first time I shared some information with only one or two other characters in a larger party or had someone else do the same. I know my experience is not necessarily universal, but I imagine it’s common to share a few backstory details with one or two people as necessary. Still, I never had a first-person, in-character experience of that kind before. This was an hour or more of free-flowing conversation, although admittedly, we slipped into third person on occasion.

Our DM knew about most of what we discussed and was fine with this approach. (Though now that I think of it, a thing or two came up that I probably should tell him about. If you do this, don’t forget to circle back with new info!) It works well for this particular style of play. It doesn’t feel like we’re leaving other characters out of the good stuff, because it’s all going to come out eventually. In an RP-heavy game like this, it makes sense to allow some secrets and surprises build. It fits well because almost everyone started with a mysterious backstory -- except our barbarian, who is very well-adjusted, has a great relationship with his family, and doesn’t rage so much as he beats monsters to death with the force of his cheery enthusiasm. If it turns out he has dark secrets, that would be the greatest surprise of all.

While having this conversation in person was fun, it’s also possible to do it in text form. I’ve used both email and instant messaging to accomplish the same basic thing, though we didn’t technically do it in first person. Among the benefits: putting things in writing makes it easier to bring your DM into the loop on everything that was discussed. We discuss character information privately with our DM over email, so it works as an extension of that.

I realize this might be a controversial approach. I would use it sparingly, and I wouldn’t recommend it for everybody’s game. But I’m wondering how this has worked for other people’s games. Have your campaigns included private, in-character side conversations? Or does everything stay strictly at the table?

contributed by Annie Bulloch
 

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Arilyn

Hero
Very common and accepted at our table. A lot of times players head for hone, still in character. It's great if two characters have a conversation other players are not privy to, or don't care about.
I'm sure some "muggles" have overheard some very odd conversations.
 

S

Sunseeker

Guest
I may live in a small town, but I really don't hang out with my gaming friends outside of well..gaming. Different circles ya know.
 

Henry

Autoexreginated
Much as I would love to do something like this, the opportunity has just never come up. Our gaming time is pretty rare, such that the only time free for something like it is the biweekly block we set. Sounds like a fantastic opportunity, though! Also one that is super-cool when info from that meeting comes up naturally in-game with the full group.
 

Cringer_luvr

First Post
Yep, have done this and have even had a one on one session with players/DM to play out a character event/story that needed to be fleshed out. Infact one of the players in my Current Forgotten Realms game had about a 3 hour session with just me and him, and it opened up a can of worms that expanded into the normal night game, and was simply AWESOME! He gave me ideas with simple things he was wanting to do privately and silently.
 

Zansy

Explorer
I've done more than my fair share of this and see no shame in it. I even had such private sessions between my character and the DM. Sometimes it's nice but it's important to know when to do it. As much as we want everyone to know all about all these amazing details we came up with, there are some conversations between two characters that are not meant for others ears. No, not even OOC. Not yet, anyway.

Sometimes this sort of private out of session, in character dialog is a fun way to get those crucial details out where only a single person needs to know. I believe it can also be used to get a player who's not as active in the session to get more engaged.
 

Irda Ranger

First Post
I've set up a group on Ryver (a Slack clone) specifically for this. We have in-character and out-of-character forums. A little private EN World just for our group. It's great.
 

Venley

First Post
Very common with my main group. Between 2 or more players or between a player and GM. Also by email or over the phone. In fact, I just received an email this morning from one of my L5R players that's an in-character letter to her daimyo. And some write fiction for backstories or afterstories.

Having recently moved and started playing with other groups too, I am somewhat horrified to find this is not common. In fact with one group I really struggle to have IC conversations with them even at the table.
 

Blue

Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
Yeah, common.

Often would have a in-character one-on-one in person, over the phone, or via email outside of a session as well as in-session.

This is the outgrowth of making interesting characters and having real interactions between them.

Had one session I ran a few years back where the two characters of the first watch wanted to have a private discussion, and so did the two on second watch, and the two on third watch decided to do the same and the session broke up into three one-on-ones that lasted the entire evening. No plot was moved, no combat, but a refreshing change of pace for all the players.

When you get a party where the characters live instead of just adventure you get these things. Rivalries and romance, drama (character, not player), goals and meaning, friendships and sacrifice.
 

Koloth

First Post
This approach brings a lot of realism to a game. In real life, you don't spend every second of every day with the same set of people. Even military units go on leave. Perfectly normal for folks to spend time in subset groups of the normal adventuring party or even with a group that has none of the other party members in it.

The times groups I play in did it, the communications were usually email.

Not a bad game mechanic to allow one or two Players to game with a 2nd group using characters from the first group's game. The GM would have to consider how to handle possible XP and Loot differences between the ones who play and those that don't. Useful to avoid having to create a 2nd set of characters that might only see a few sessions until the first group resumes a normal play schedule.
 

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