well i am versed quite extensively in necromancers, and if you want your guy to be a necromancer then dread necromancer is a good start. especially with tomb-tainted soul (who doesn't want to be at full health at the end of every encounter with charnel touch)
BUT WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT YOUR CHARACTER TO DO??
AND WHAT ALLIGNMENT IS THE PARTY??
grafts are fun but some of the better ones are expensive if you continue to follow that path in higher levels.
now you mentioned undead leadership, don't take it if you want to be a pale master (you get it for free at level 9 anyway)
my current character is a dread necro in a
good party, now dread necros are fun but unless you plan on either becoming a lich or creating undead with animate dead (which pale master can cast for free 1/day, and this saves you tons on onyx gems in later lvs) their spell list in pretty sparse as far as utility goes, so i supplemented with a few lvs of wizard and then ultimate magus, which progresses my necro spell list (so you dont waste the lvs you have taken goin into a spell list that tops at lv 4 spells) and gives more lvs of wizard (after lv 8 in dread necro the abilities that are useful are few and far between this allows you to progress in a spell list you alrdy have, and acess wizard spell list for your low lv evocation and utility, like arcane lock, desecration, and most importantly awaken undead and other things that help you) plus untimate magus give bonus'es to caster lvs
now being in a good party is tricky, you cant let them see you use charnel touch on yourself and your abilities (especially raising dead) are limited at best. but its very interesting especially when our healer tries to heal me and im making a will save cause tomb-tainted soul makes positive energy hurt me.
but ill ask again and then ill tell you my 2 cents
BUT WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT YOUR CHARACTER TO DO??
AND WHAT ALLIGNMENT IS THE PARTY??