A
Agudo Archmage
Guest
A simple but funny note awaits a reader like you.
Like any wily adventure, we come upon time to time, many valuable and not so worthwhile things.
In my travels of new lands, do to my never-ending search to expand my humbly named writings called “Agudo History of the Realms books.”
I have collected several interesting artifacts, and a few in all honesty junk!
Never the less, if your Halfling grassy noel home, lacks one of the following, then this maybe the opportunity you been looking for.
Think about it!
None of the danger of acquiring these things, yet still the joy of a grand conversation peace, to impress your neighbors.
One sword stuck in a rock!
Simply put, in a rainy isle not to long ago. I was traveling along with my loyal snow owl Hoot.
When we came upon this …this… sword stuck in a rock.
I thought I was doing the local village a favor, by removing the weed tangled eye soar.
When the next thing I know, it’s the classic angry towns people, with fiery torches and pitchforks.
Screaming "what have you done? How will we ever choose a king?"
Blah Blah Balh....
Chasing sweet Lady Hoot and my always-helpful self, down the muddy road with it.
Sadly word has come to me that a politically savvy Mage by the name of Merlin.
Has put a bounty out on my head! Of all people can you imagine that!
Something to do with this Magelings need to manipulate that before mentioned village.
Just between you and me, its so he can put his puppet boy as king!
All the while this Merlin is the true power behind the throne.
In any case as you can see I need to get rid of it quick!
I will accept no less than 1200 silver coins or some neat babul to trade. Like a wand of getting my Wizardly self out of trouble.
By the way it has an inscription titled Excalibur… or some such.
One Gold Ring!
Lets just say friendship can be an odd thing.
One day I am having lunch with a fellow adventure and Arcane practitioner named Gandolf.
He has just introduced me to a plump Hobbit, with an unyielding taste for cholesterol clogging buttery bread.
When the little plump fellow shows this rather simple gold ring that he had found.
Well the next thing I know, Gandolf has this ghost white look on his face.
Mumbling something about it bringing out ones worst traits, and how dangerous this ring is.
The Hobbit nearly chokes on the rye bread he eating.
As he shakes with fear at Gandofs babbling.
Of course being my ever-helpful self once more.
I grabbed hold of the ring, saying in all honesty that I would get rid of it for them.
Just to calm everyone down from such a fright.
Back to the my statement of friendship can be an odd thing!
You would be surprised how fast those fat little Hobbits are, and who knew those butter knives could be so sharp!
Don’t get me started on what Gandolf did…..
All of a sudden he is pointing his staff at me and I am flying around the room like some drunken Pixie.
If it wasn’t for that Hobbit buttery fingers slicking up Gandolf’s staff.
Causing the in raged Gray Wizard bony fingers to lose his staff and me out the window.
I would have never made it to safety!
The Ring comes in a nice glass case and I will throw in for free Gandolf’s staff.
Serves him right!
I will never know what came over those two. Shhees… you would think it was for some epic quest or something.
All for the asking price of twelve Rogue stones or Kinglear necklaces of the same quantity.
Pair of Ruby slippers.
Lady Hoot thought it would be a good idea, if we joined the Lollypop Guild
You know the Lollypop Guild…. The Lollypop Guild …. La laaaaaa
O’ sorry ! Back to the sale.
I was walking along the yellow brick road when house of all things falls from the sky.
Well I see these shoes stuck under the house, and Hoot says "Pick them up, we can offer it to the Guild Boss."
Like always someone gets an Org in her bonnet.
This pigtailed little girl and her barking little mutt. Starts chasing us, saying "it’s my shoes I killed the which and I am the star of this Realm."
If that wasn’t bad enough the biggest, brightest pixie you ever saw.
Calling her self Glenda the good witch of the West.
Chased me into this castle with flying monkeys.
If you can believe that could ever happen. :embarrass
Price for the ruby slippers is …. One giant Pixie Swater
From Agudo the traveling junk collector!
Like any wily adventure, we come upon time to time, many valuable and not so worthwhile things.
In my travels of new lands, do to my never-ending search to expand my humbly named writings called “Agudo History of the Realms books.”
I have collected several interesting artifacts, and a few in all honesty junk!
Never the less, if your Halfling grassy noel home, lacks one of the following, then this maybe the opportunity you been looking for.
Think about it!
None of the danger of acquiring these things, yet still the joy of a grand conversation peace, to impress your neighbors.
One sword stuck in a rock!
Simply put, in a rainy isle not to long ago. I was traveling along with my loyal snow owl Hoot.
When we came upon this …this… sword stuck in a rock.
I thought I was doing the local village a favor, by removing the weed tangled eye soar.
When the next thing I know, it’s the classic angry towns people, with fiery torches and pitchforks.
Screaming "what have you done? How will we ever choose a king?"
Blah Blah Balh....
Chasing sweet Lady Hoot and my always-helpful self, down the muddy road with it.
Sadly word has come to me that a politically savvy Mage by the name of Merlin.
Has put a bounty out on my head! Of all people can you imagine that!
Something to do with this Magelings need to manipulate that before mentioned village.
Just between you and me, its so he can put his puppet boy as king!
All the while this Merlin is the true power behind the throne.
In any case as you can see I need to get rid of it quick!
I will accept no less than 1200 silver coins or some neat babul to trade. Like a wand of getting my Wizardly self out of trouble.
By the way it has an inscription titled Excalibur… or some such.
One Gold Ring!
Lets just say friendship can be an odd thing.
One day I am having lunch with a fellow adventure and Arcane practitioner named Gandolf.
He has just introduced me to a plump Hobbit, with an unyielding taste for cholesterol clogging buttery bread.
When the little plump fellow shows this rather simple gold ring that he had found.
Well the next thing I know, Gandolf has this ghost white look on his face.
Mumbling something about it bringing out ones worst traits, and how dangerous this ring is.
The Hobbit nearly chokes on the rye bread he eating.
As he shakes with fear at Gandofs babbling.
Of course being my ever-helpful self once more.
I grabbed hold of the ring, saying in all honesty that I would get rid of it for them.
Just to calm everyone down from such a fright.
Back to the my statement of friendship can be an odd thing!
You would be surprised how fast those fat little Hobbits are, and who knew those butter knives could be so sharp!
Don’t get me started on what Gandolf did…..
All of a sudden he is pointing his staff at me and I am flying around the room like some drunken Pixie.
If it wasn’t for that Hobbit buttery fingers slicking up Gandolf’s staff.
Causing the in raged Gray Wizard bony fingers to lose his staff and me out the window.
I would have never made it to safety!
The Ring comes in a nice glass case and I will throw in for free Gandolf’s staff.
Serves him right!
I will never know what came over those two. Shhees… you would think it was for some epic quest or something.
All for the asking price of twelve Rogue stones or Kinglear necklaces of the same quantity.
Pair of Ruby slippers.
Lady Hoot thought it would be a good idea, if we joined the Lollypop Guild
You know the Lollypop Guild…. The Lollypop Guild …. La laaaaaa
O’ sorry ! Back to the sale.
I was walking along the yellow brick road when house of all things falls from the sky.
Well I see these shoes stuck under the house, and Hoot says "Pick them up, we can offer it to the Guild Boss."
Like always someone gets an Org in her bonnet.
This pigtailed little girl and her barking little mutt. Starts chasing us, saying "it’s my shoes I killed the which and I am the star of this Realm."
If that wasn’t bad enough the biggest, brightest pixie you ever saw.
Calling her self Glenda the good witch of the West.
Chased me into this castle with flying monkeys.
If you can believe that could ever happen. :embarrass
Price for the ruby slippers is …. One giant Pixie Swater
From Agudo the traveling junk collector!
