Struggling

Jeajea

First Post
As a dream, reality can be lifted away,
Flitter into the corners,
Gone.

Grant me senility,
Grant me peace with death,
For it is that from which I run.

But don't we all?
Isn't that our condition?
All life must die,
Wither and fade,
Until the world has no memory of us,
No recognition...

Nothing. We all fade to nothing.

What is the point, if we all fade?
Perhaps the point is
Not what we gained, what we made.
Not what we've seen, how we've felt.
Not what we've done, what we've smelt.

But something else...

Grant me the wisdom to see what it is.
It's right before me...

It's my family?
My friends, the sunrise,
Crickets at night,
Starlight,
The sweet smell of baking bread -
Surely that is it?

Do I think too much,
Is that my curse?

Ah, but such a futile effort here,
Does anyone really care?
Busy with your own problems.
And none of us learnt to share.
Not a lot of point then, is there,
To my personal flair?

The way I walk,
The things I talk,
The smile I throw,
Happiness I can bestow.

...

I know you aren't listening,
But I'll say it anyway.
In fact, maybe that's the only way
I can say it at all...

You and me, we're the same.
I see in your eyes, you worry about what I worry about.
You have your day to day things,
Struggling for one thing or another -
Doesn't matter what, the struggle is enough
To live a little.

Maybe you fight for food?
I don't. I fight for peace.
I have more food than I need.
I won't give it to you, though.
We all need to struggle.

At least with food
The pain is mostly physical...
Well... is your pain mostly physical?
I suppose not. That's not the pain that is important, is it?

You can unite in resentment for me,
And that's just fine,
And gods forbid I ask you to just
Toe the line.

I'd far sooner get you fighting me.
Maybe the purpose I need is to give you purpose?

Though, of course, I'm in pain.
No, please don't look like that.
I know you are too,
That's what we're all here for, right?
Pain.

Well, yes. So why evade this so much?
Do we maybe spend a lifetime ignoring the obvious?
Trying to forget it?
Is that, in fact, part of how we cause it?

Or maybe I'm just a little old...
I don't know, really.
Can't see anything much very clearly.
Never could.
Maybe I'm putting mysticism where it shouldn't be?
Ascribing meaning to the meaningless?

I'm sorry, did you listen to all that?
Oh... I have to go. Goodbye!

~Jeajea Veanson
 

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