DreadPirateMurphy
Explorer
While I am far from an expert on medieval weaponry, and I appreciate artistic license, there are some weapons proposed for D&D 3.x that just seem mind-bogglingly impractical. Perhaps somebody can point out the utility of some of these beyond being "kewl."
1) Whip-daggers: Did anybody ever actually create such a weapon? Whips strike me as falling into the category of "agricultural tools used as improvised weapons." What would be the point of tying a dagger to the end of one, rather than just learning to throw knives?
2) Sugliin: Here you have a big wrack of sharpened antlers so unwieldy that you have to spend two feats just to use it as a normal weapon. The tactical problems for this are mind-boggling, especially given the fact that you'll probably draw the eye of every archer in sight.
3) Mercurial Swords: Explain the attraction of a using a deliberately unbalanced weapon that is likely to spew a highly toxic substance if sundered.
4) Orc Shotput: The perfect counterpoint to the Orc javelin team. Spend 10 gp on a 15 lbs. chunk of iron...or just go and find a rock to throw.
5) Musical Instrument Bayonets: Presented in Song and Silence, and instantly ludicrous to anybody who has actually used a real musical instrument. If you want to destroy your instrument in combat, just whack somebody with it.
6) Scorpion Claws: This weapon from Sandstorm is exactly what it sounds like...monstrous scorpion claws you wear on your hands. Besides making it rather difficult to scratch an itch, I can't help but mentally hear the "crab people" theme from South Park running in the background.
7) Caber: If I recall correctly, this was offered in Masters of the Wild. It was a log that you throw at people. I never understood why this counted as a weapon rather than as improvised use of scenery.
8) Two-Bladed Sword: This weapon led directly to one of the oddest miniatures from WotC, a man in full plate armor wielding one of these. That would probably be the only way to wield one without slicing off your fingers, come to think of it.
9) Spike Shooter: This appeared in Races of Faerun. Any weapon with a spike on the end could be set to launch it as a spring-loaded surprise. Possibly inspired by giant robot anime, I don't understand how you could avoid accidentally shooting it off whenever you swung your battle axe.
10) Icechucker: Ah, here we have a crossbow designed to fire icicles. Oh, and it can fire javelins too, if you actually want to use something balanced and aerodynamic.
Bonus) Vulcanian Thunder Club: This was originally printed in Dragon #304, and it made it into Paizo's Best of Dragon Compendium. While I like the book, I am less enamored with the idea of a greatclub filled with alchemist's fire and shot. It is never explained how you can set it off with the pull of a string, but not by whacking it against your foe (possibly inadvertantly).
There are a few more that come to mind, but 10+1 will do.
1) Whip-daggers: Did anybody ever actually create such a weapon? Whips strike me as falling into the category of "agricultural tools used as improvised weapons." What would be the point of tying a dagger to the end of one, rather than just learning to throw knives?
2) Sugliin: Here you have a big wrack of sharpened antlers so unwieldy that you have to spend two feats just to use it as a normal weapon. The tactical problems for this are mind-boggling, especially given the fact that you'll probably draw the eye of every archer in sight.
3) Mercurial Swords: Explain the attraction of a using a deliberately unbalanced weapon that is likely to spew a highly toxic substance if sundered.
4) Orc Shotput: The perfect counterpoint to the Orc javelin team. Spend 10 gp on a 15 lbs. chunk of iron...or just go and find a rock to throw.
5) Musical Instrument Bayonets: Presented in Song and Silence, and instantly ludicrous to anybody who has actually used a real musical instrument. If you want to destroy your instrument in combat, just whack somebody with it.
6) Scorpion Claws: This weapon from Sandstorm is exactly what it sounds like...monstrous scorpion claws you wear on your hands. Besides making it rather difficult to scratch an itch, I can't help but mentally hear the "crab people" theme from South Park running in the background.
7) Caber: If I recall correctly, this was offered in Masters of the Wild. It was a log that you throw at people. I never understood why this counted as a weapon rather than as improvised use of scenery.
8) Two-Bladed Sword: This weapon led directly to one of the oddest miniatures from WotC, a man in full plate armor wielding one of these. That would probably be the only way to wield one without slicing off your fingers, come to think of it.
9) Spike Shooter: This appeared in Races of Faerun. Any weapon with a spike on the end could be set to launch it as a spring-loaded surprise. Possibly inspired by giant robot anime, I don't understand how you could avoid accidentally shooting it off whenever you swung your battle axe.
10) Icechucker: Ah, here we have a crossbow designed to fire icicles. Oh, and it can fire javelins too, if you actually want to use something balanced and aerodynamic.
Bonus) Vulcanian Thunder Club: This was originally printed in Dragon #304, and it made it into Paizo's Best of Dragon Compendium. While I like the book, I am less enamored with the idea of a greatclub filled with alchemist's fire and shot. It is never explained how you can set it off with the pull of a string, but not by whacking it against your foe (possibly inadvertantly).
There are a few more that come to mind, but 10+1 will do.
